Keep Your Guard Up!

03/30/2012

Sitting in court this morning, shuffling back and forth on the bench, thankful at least I am sitting on this hard surface prior to my upcoming punishment. After court I have an appointment with Professor and I am a mix of guilt and nervousness as I contemplate my recent transgressions. We had a session just 2 weeks ago to address my attitude. I have unsuccessfully tried to argue that my attitude and my temper should be separated into their own individual entities......note the adjective 'unsuccessful'......Professor disagrees.

Late last week I had an incident at work where I ultimately ended up slapping a man for him swatting my bottom. I am not normally a violent person, but can be amazingly convincing if I am provoked. While this guy did initiate the confrontation by putting his hands on me, I should NOT have retaliated by striking him. I was not in any physical danger and security was close by. I reacted and slapped him to get even, to feel better personally for getting revenge, and because my bottom belongs to one man & he was not the one swatting it that evening. Oh, but give me another hour or so and that man will certainly be swatting his little girl's bottom. When I'd told Professor by phone about the incident, I was actually confident in my thought that I responded appropriately by hitting him. I emphasized the fact that he hit me first. I had convinced myself that Professor, like any other dominant man whose naughty girl's bottom was his and his alone, would be ok with my reaction. I mean, I didn't kill the guy, I only slapped him. However, as soon as I stopped explaining what happened and he began to speak, I could hear in his tone of voice with me that I was in big trouble. The man can lecture, extremely well and it didn't take him much time at all to have convinced me that what I had done was inappropriate.

Fast forward four days later to the beginning of this week.....the location, my son's school.....the issue, yet again, my temper. Another child's mother began verbally insulting my son for some incident involving our two boys. I was infuriated and lashed out at her. This heated argument continued, in front of the kids, for several minutes and I was quickly losing my battle to control my temper and has just threatened to hit her. My phone beeped, looking down I see an IM from my younger sister, Lauren, who had been on the phone with me when the altercation began. It reads: professor wants u 2 call him now.btw i told him u would b stupid 2 call him when u r in a fight, he said u would be more stupid if u didnt call him.....NOW. I grabbed my phone and dialed his cell phone number, suddenly forgetting the argument and now focusing on damage control. His voice, tone, wording.....all shook me back to reality instantaneously. "Tell me young lady, if you hadn't seen that message on your phone, would you have hit her?" I couldn't speak, I was scared. "Natalie Lynn.....answer me now." I sighed and swiped at a tear as it escaped my eye and whispered a "Yes Sir." The lecture that ensued about my temper, the incident just days ago regarding my hitting, the session I'd just had a little more than a week ago about my attitude, his resolve to thoroughly punish me for this lapse & my making him repeat his lessons AGAIN......that lecture stung......a lot. "No daughter of mine will be hitting people unless it is in defense of her life. As long as you are mine, you are done hitting. Clear?" Sitting in my SUV, listening intently, kicking myself for being so stupid, my head hung as I reply, "Yes Sir. I'm so sorry." He sighs and ends the call with, "You will be sorry on Friday."

So now sitting in court, waiting for my name to be called so I can get this traffic ticket resolved and rush out of here to my impending fate. I make it through court without being disrespectful (yep, I learned that lesson the last time and will not *ever* make Professor repeat that lesson) and rush out to drive to the meeting spot.

After our last session, with all of my careless mistakes that added to my spanking, I am focused on making certain everything goes right today and I dont add anything to the spanking session I have been told is a '9'. Im scared, nervous, ashamed of my recent temper flares.....but determined to get there on time with all of my ducks in a row so I dont add to this punishment. About 2 minutes from my exit there is a traffic accident on the freeway and I pull off to help and send a text to Professor to be careful and add, "yes the girl in a short skirt and hooker boots helping the victim on the side of the interstate is yours...lol." It is only 1150am and we agreed to meet at 1230p so Im certain my detour will not make me late. 1206pm my phone beeps with a text message, I glance down at it, "Using the old 'saving lives' excuse? Im here and will check in." I rush back to my SUV now that the paramedics have the injured in an ambulance to cart off to the hospital and drive to the hotel.

After we enter the room and I sit my implements on the desk, take out the gift bag from my friend Brad that he got for Professor & I, hand Professor the print outs of my punishment list and email he asked for, and make a phone call that we needed to complete before the session.......we are ready to begin. My heart sinks.

"Go put your nose in the corner young lady." his voice now the firm, determined, all-business tone I have become all too familiar with over the last couple months. I walk to the corner and stand facing it, my hands nervously pressing the front of my skirt in some weird attempt to calm my nerves. "I am going to open Brad's gift but you can't see it yet." he speaks again. I sigh and listen intently, hoping to be able to hear what it is in the bag. "I really like Brad." he adds. I roll my eyes and ask, "Sir, if I can't yet see the gift, will you atleast read me the note he said he'd included in the bag so I have an idea of what it is please?" As soon as the words have escaped my lips I immediately bite my bottom lip, knowing I'm in trouble. I hear him moving around behind me, unzipping his bag.....and I know what is coming and fight back the urge to protectively cover my bottom with my hands. CRRAAACCCKK CCRRRRAAAAACCKKK CCCRRRAAAACCCKKK CCCRRRAAAACCCCKKK CCCRRRAAAACCCCKKKK! Five quick, solid swats land on my bottom, thinly protected by my black skirt. I gasp and immediately offer a, "Im sorry Sir." He asks, "What is the rule about speaking when you're being punished Natalie Lynn?" I sigh and mumble, "I am not allowed to speak unless spoken to, answer simply 'yes Sir' and 'no Sir' unless asked for elaboration at which point I am to answer immediately and respectfully Sir." I hear him walk away and know he is satisfied with my response.

"Come here." His voice steady and firm. I walk over to him and he points to the chair sitting a foot in front of where he is sitting at the desk. I sit down and cross my legs while my eyes fix themselves on the floor, my attempt to avoid eye contact and have to see that grim look on his face. "Lynn, look at me." I take a deep breath and raise my eyes to meet his. He has incredibly expressive chocolate brown eyes and a piercing stare when in scene. He begins to lecture me again about my choice to ignore what I know is right and give into my impulsive temper. He emphasizes the fact that we just discussed my attitude and I am now making him repeat his lessons....which he hates to do. He acknowledges that both of the idiots I tangled with were also out of line but said their behavior is not his concern, mine is because I am his. I smile slightly as he says that last comment; I *love* being his. He tells me that I will always have to work with idiots, that is part of life and I can't change it so I have to accept it and learn to tolerate. Keep my guard up when I am debating with idiots so I don't do or say something I know I should not. He continues to lecture and out of the corner of my eye I see him unbutton and start to slowly roll up the sleeve on his left arm. A huge lump appears in the back of my throat as I try to maintain eye contact and ignore the dreadful sight in my peripheral vision. My heart racing as I listen intently. "Back to the corner. When I call you out, you're going to be taught a hard lesson in controlling your temper and making me repeat my lessons young lady." I scurry over to the corner and try to slow my breathing as my mind swirls in a panic.

"Here now." his voice pulls me from the corner and I shuffle over to his side. "Skirt up and over my knee." My hands slowly raise my skirt and I drape myself across his capable lap. His thighs hard against my torso, my long red hair blanketing the floor as I prepare myself for that first ominous swat. SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP He wastes no time in applying firm, stinging swats to my panty clad bottom with his strong hand. After a couple dozen or so, I feel a new sensation..... CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK I cross my ankles to keep my feet from kicking my high heeled boots as he continues the spanking. I now know that Brad's gift is a damn hairbrush......a very solid damn hairbrush that is burning my bottom and thighs. 

The swats stop for a moment and I feel his fingers slide between my skin and the waistband of my thin lace panties, and in one solid fluid motion he pulls them down to my knees and then again starts spanking me.....HARD with that awful hairbrush. My breathing is quick, I try to anticipate where the next blow will fall and try to quiet my cluttered mind as Professor continues teaching this lesson in the way in which we both know I will learn the best. "My little girl will not hit another person, ever." I try to concentrate on remaining still and quickly say, "Yes Sir" between gasps for breath. "Keep your guard up. Clear?" I shake my head yes and again offer a, "Yes Sir." Finally, after what seems like forever, but in reality was likely 5-7minutes, the swats stop and I relax my body across his lap. "Corner." One word but more than enough to get the point across and Im off to press my nose to the corner again, my panties around my calves and my skirt raised to give him an unobstructed view of my reddening cheeks.

"Come here. I want you to lay over the pillows." I turn and see he has stacked pillows in the center of the bed and catch a glimpse of his belt in his hand. I lie face down over the pillows as I was instructed and place my face against the backs of my arms and wait hesitantly for the first blow. He is standing next to the bed and snaps the belt close to me, causing my body to jump each time. I *hate* that sound......almost as much as the sound created when a belt is pulled from its loops......both knot my stomach and make me a very sorry little girl for whatever I have done to earn myself a good belt whipping. Professor knows the effect these sounds have on me and will utilize them anytime he wants my full attention.

WHACK The first swat leaving a searing red line across my bared bottom. WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK He whips in a rhythm, placing one swat after the last in quick succession causing me to stop concentrating on anticipating the swats and begin to lose myself in the moment. The burning increasing with each volley of stinging straps. The swats pause for a moment and I feel his touch. His strong hand softly caressing my head as he speaks, "Look at me." I take a deep breath and prepare myself for that look as I tilt my head to the side and hesitantly look up at him. His jaw set but not clenched, his eyes with a look I can not turn away from, his voice firm but loving as he speaks to me. "What do you think it says to me to hear you've done something you know better about just a week after I punished you for a similar offense?" I blink, trying to keep the tears from spilling out onto my cheeks, praying he doesn't say the D word because I know I wont be able to keep from crying if he says it. I *hate* to disappoint him. "Im sorry Sir." is all that slips out. "I know you're sorry Natalie but you need to think about this and stop yourself before you have a reason to be sorry. You are a strong woman and you are capable of controlling your Irish temper no matter how hard it may seem. You can do it and I know you can do it. It is disrespectful to me for you to consciously choose to give into your temper when you have just told me you will control it after I've punished you. Do you see that?" I whisper a, "Yes Sir." My heart aching now. I *never* meant to be disrespectful toward him. I hadn't thought about it, but I suppose that is the point. When I choose to give into my temper, I'm only thinking about how good it will feel in the moment to get even. Im not considering the consequences I'll surely face and I'm not considering the lack of respect it shows toward Professor for me to knowingly break rules he has set for me. The sting in my heart now rivaling that of my bottom as he speaks again. "Repeating my lessons is not the best use of my time or yours. I'd rather be discussing or correcting another issue or giving you a maintenance spanking or stress-relief spanking.....those can be just as intense but we wouldn't have to deal with the disrespect, disappointment, guilt and shame of a punishment. Understand?" I nod my head and offer a, "Yes Sir." He pats my head again and then rises to his feet as I lay my face back down on my arms and he starts strapping my bottom and thighs again. WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK

"Look at me." I turn my head to the other side where he is now kneeling to look into my eyes. "I will always use my belt because it is important for you to be punished with my belt. But right now, Im going to use this to continue your strapping. Clear?" I glance at the implement in his hand, hesitantly and hoping beyond hope that it is not the rubber looped strap that he used last session. I see the implement he has selected and it is not the looped strap, but my heart sinks as I see the heavy rubbed strap resting on his thigh. Though not as painful as the looped one, this strap is heavy and it hurts. I resume my face down position and wait for that first stroke to find its mark.

SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT The rapid placement of swats causing me to gasp for breath as Professor continues to teach me this lesson. The burn building and the pain sharp as he pays attention to my thighs and sit spots with this dreaded implement. "Im going to give you 20 more now......hard. And I want you to count down from 20 and after each number, you are to repeat 'I will not make my Disciplinarian repeat his lessons' Understood little girl?" My mind racing and telling me beg, whine, plead.......What if I cant take 20 more? This implement stings alot Professor? What if I cry? My heart quiets my mind, telling myself I deserve this spanking and I'm probably getting off relatively easily with only 20 more swats considering I did hit a man. My heart continuing to silence my mind with a further, Professor knows what he is doing, he would never give me more than I deserved, he cares for me, I am *HIS* and he would never truly hurt me. "Yes Sir."

The swats are heavy and they hurt.....alot. They seem to run together though he actually pauses for several seconds between each to allow me time to breath and repeat the sentence I am to say after each stroke. He swings hard, determined to teach his naughty little girl a lesson, then slowly drags the strap across the angry welt it has just inflicted before raising it to apply another. He pays attention to my thighs for the last half dozen swats. I choke back my tears and continue to count and repeat "I will not make my Disciplinarian repeat his lessons." The last 3 swats are close to full force and fall immediately after the last causing me to struggle not to move, not to cry, not to forget to count and speak. His hand again on my head, softly stroking my hair for a moment as I try to catch my breath. His hand then tracing the wide stripes on my bottom as I flinch at his touch and sniffle. "Back to the corner." I slowly rise of of the bed and back into the corner. "Hands on your head Natalie Lynn." I quickly raise my arms and entwine my fingers together and place my elbows against the cool wall.

"Come here, back over my knee." I shuffle over to him, my eyes no longer locked on the floor, for some reason I cant stop looking at him. Our eyes locked with one another as his strong hand reaches out for me and he gently guides me back across his lap. His hand swatting firmly, slowly.......then quickly and sharply. He takes his time and makes sure to cover every inch of my bottom. Lifting each cheek to apply a dozen or so stinging swats just beneath them at my sit spots. Then the hairbrush again connects with my now, very sore bottom as I lay upended across his lap. He spaces his legs further apart so I am barely touching the ground with my toes and completely vulnerable over his knees. I again cross my ankles, determined not to wiggle or squirm, wanting so badly to make amends for my disrespecting him, intentionally or not, the guilt in that knowledge, far worse than the guilt for hitting in the first place. CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK The stinging swats falling rapidly across my bottom, each spot punished with multiple firm swats landing one after another. My breathing is quick and I start to whimper softly as I struggle to maintain still. He peppers my thighs and bottom equally well and equally as hard as I sob. After another few minutes of punishing blows connecting with my unprotected bottom and thighs, the swats subside but the burn lingers. I feel his hand lovingly stroking my hair again and I tilt my head toward his touch. My eyes closed, my bottom on fire, but right now I dont care about my throbbing bottom. His touch is my zen now. I know it is over. We are okay. He has forgiven me and Im still his little girl. A very contrite, properly punished little girl but again his good girl and that is all that matters to me in this moment.

"Back over the pillows Natalie." his voice calm but the words causing a panic.....I thought it was over Professor? I thought it was over? :( I say nothing but again crawl up onto the bed and lie over the pillows, again propping my bottom and thighs up for his punishing swats. I feel him on the bed next to me and then his touch again. His strong hands now gently massaging lotion onto my sore bottom and thighs........soft caresses mixed with firm kneading and light swats. "Lay there while your bottom dries." I smile, "Yes Sir."

My face is still pressed to my arms on the bed so I can not see where Professor has gone but I can feel his gaze. I know without looking that he is sitting next to me in the chair beside the bed. I imagine he has got to be pretty pleased with his work today......my bottom is so very sore. After several minutes he instructs me up and to raise my panties and lower my skirt. I do so and flinch at the feel of the lace against my properly punished bottom. "Come here" his voice much softer now and a smile on his face. I flip my hair back out of my face and walk into his open arms for a much needed hug.

After our embrace, he sits again in his chair and I get us both a beer to enjoy while we talk and spend some quality time together. I hand him his and start to sit on the edge of the bed....."No young lady. You were just punished, over here on this chair so you can sit on something hard on your sore bottom and remember the lesson you just learned." his voice soft but his tone more than serious. I want to laugh and say it doesnt matter where I sit because he did a damn good job and I'd feel it even if I were sitting on a pile of feathers.....but I know better......in scene or not, I will not ever talk back to this man. And something tells me  if I chose to, regardless of the current state of my tender bottom, he would not hesitate to bare it again and spank me good for being sassy. So I simply smile and sit in the chair a foot from him adding a "Yes Sir." His smile telling me he is pleased by that response. God, it feels sooooo good to be back on his good side and once again his good little girl. :)