Speeding.....Again

10/02/2006

My alarm clock didn't go off this morning.....wait, let me clarify. It did go off but I hit 'snooze' and then hit it again and then I guess I just forgot the hit the button and somehow thought throwing the clock across the room would help....lol. It did help.....the clock shut up, and didn't bother me with that annoying buzzing again. Sleeping beauty drifted back off to la la land. I woke up when my cell phone started ringing.

"Hello?" I answered as I rubbed at my eyes. "Good morning beautiful. I had to leave early this morning and didnt want to wake you so I wanted to call now to tell you good luck on your final, I know you'll do great." I smiled....got to love this man at times like this. Such a serious, stern military man who comes across to most people as extremely rigid.....but at times like this, when he goes out of his way to put a smile on my face, he is just a puppy dog in combat boots. :) Sweet, attentive, flirtatious.......just plain adorable. "Thanks honey. I love you." I sat up on the edge of the bed. "Love you too angel. I have to go. See you tonight." I hung up and smiled......then glancing down at the time, that smile quickly faded. "1030am.....son of a bitch!" I yelled as I jumped up and ran to the bathroom, quickly dialing on my phone.......

"Good morning Dr. Brawner, this is Natalie. I had a flat tire this morning so I may be a few minutes late for the final, but I am on my way. I'm sorry, I'll see you soon." I jump in and out of the shower in record time, throw together an outfit, grab my phone & keys and rush out of the house and into my grand am to begin my drive to campus.

I am freaking out as I pass one car after the next. I live 20 minutes from campus, without traffic delays. My exam was to begin at 11am and I know even if I am able to dodge every delay on the road, I am still going to be late. Dr. Brawner is a professor that teaches two classes of mine this semester and the man in a hard ass. He actually opens the syllabuses to his courses with the following statement: "If you're early, you're on time...If you're on time, you're late...If you're late, don't bother showing up." I've only been late to his class once and it was not a pleasant experience. I've seen him dismiss other students from class for being late. I HAVE to get there.....fast!

As I whip around another car onto the exit ramp to Raab Rd. in Normal, I tap my brakes softly and then accelerate again. I look into my mirror and try to apply my eyeliner and then see red & blue lights flashing in my mirror. "Are you fucking kidding me???" I yell out as I hit the steering wheel and pull over onto the shoulder.

"Good morning ma'am. License, insurance & registration please." I am leaning over digging through my purse and turn to hand him the requested documents and see a familiar face. "Jeremy?" He lowers his sunglasses and looks at me, a bit confused, "Natalie? What the hell are you doing?" I sigh, somewhat relieved to see a good friend of ours and co-worker of my husbands'. "Oh my God, thank God it is you. I am running late to my final exam. Can you please just let me get there? Follow me if you want and put a warning in the car, but I have to get to campus. This is Dr. Brawner's final, I can't be late." The look on his face is a mix of amusement and irritation. "He is tough. I'll escort you over there but we need to talk later about this. Being late for an exam sucks, but it isn't a reason to fly off an exit ramp driving 103mph in a 45mph zone Natalie." I roll my eyes at him, "Jeremy it just switched to a 45mph zone, it was a 65mph zone." He glares at me, "And your point is? Even in a 65mph zone, 103mph is reckless driving and just stupid Natalie. You could have left your house earlier so you'd be on time and alive." I sigh, "I know, I know. Im sorry." He hands me back my paperwork and jumps back in his squad car, then leads me lights flashing to campus.

I ran into that building as quickly as I could and up to the 3rd floor.....probably taking 3 stairs at a time. I ran into the classroom, out of breath and a few people looked up as the door slammed shut behind me. Dr. Brawner was sitting in the back of the room and glanced up at me, then to his watch, shook his head and went back to scanning the papers in front of him. I walked back to him, and whispered, "Sir, I am so sorry. I got here as quickly as I could." He spoke without even looking up at me, "I got your voicemail Natalie. Since it was an issue with your car and out of your control, I will let you take the exam, but you would be smart to show up early to your final in my other course later this week. Are we clear?" I shook my head and said, "Yes Sir. Thank you so much." He handed me my exam and I took my seat and took the final.

After leaving campus, I turned my phone back on and checked messages. I had a text from Jeremy. "Natalie, I have an appt so leaving work for day. We needed to talk about this morning but I have to go so I sent Jason an email with what I wanted to say to you, so ask him for it please and reply through email. SLOW DOWN!" I re-read the text over and over, praying I'd read it incorrectly. My mind is in a panic. No no no.....why did he email Jason? Oh my God! He is going to kill me. Oh my God. I start to pray that Jeremy didn't mention the offense or exact speed in the email. Maybe I can talk my way out of this, I'll tell him about being late.....I mean it IS a final exam and it IS important.

I rehearse my defense again and again throughout the afternoon and try to calm myself down while also trying to do any small thing I can that I know will please him. I finished the laundry, pressed his uniforms, tidied up the house and went to the kitchen to cook us dinner. I keep stealing glances at the clock, in a dreaded countdown to his arrival. I grab my MP3 player and listen to some music while I continue cooking and dreading.

My music is so loud that I don't hear he enter the house. I'm at the sink, rinsing vegetables when I feel his arms wrap around me from behind. He pulls me back into him and squeezes me in a tight hug. I lay my head back against his chest for a moment before pulling my ear buds out and tilting my head further back to kiss him.

"I missed you baby. How was your day? How did you do on the test?" His tone of voice is almost confusing to me; he isn't upset.....actually, quite the opposite, he sounds happy....sweet....calm. "I wont have my results until Thursday, but I think I did well. How was your day?" He spins me around so I am now facing him and pulls me in for another hug. He kissed my forehead and then I pressed my head to his chest, just lingering in the embrace as he rested his chin on top of my head.....I absolutely love when he does that. Just another subtle & sweet but possessive act. Makes me smile every time he does this......much the same as when he places his hand on the small of my back when we walk somewhere, or the way he stretches his arm out behind him so I'll hurry and catch up to him and place my hand in his......cute, sweet little showings of affection that are also incredibly possessive and protective. Got to love having an attentive, dominant man.

"I had a pretty good day. Is dinner done?" I squeeze him tightly and then turn away to finish rinsing the veggies. "Nope, will be in about an hour. You're early." I say as I continue cooking. "Okay, that's fine. Finish up with the veggies and then meet me in our room please." I swallow hard but his voice is still relatively relaxed so I don't want to panic and give myself away so I give a cool reply, "Sure honey. Be there in a sec."

I try to reassure myself on my way down the hallway, toward our room that he he surely wouldn't be so sweet and cuddly if he knew what had happened this morning, so I am safe.....for now anyway. I open the door and step inside and pull it closed behind me. The door to our master bath is closed so I know he is probably showering. I knock lightly on the door and say, "Baby I'm here." I hear him from the other side of the door, "Alright, I'll be right out. Sit on the bed and wait for me please." I walk over to our bed and kick my shoes off and then before getting on it, I take the hairbrush from the night stand and quickly shove it in a drawer, out of sight......a girl can never be too prepared. :)

I sit up on our bed, my legs folded underneath me. The door opens and he walks over to the desk and starts pecking on the computer keyboard. "Whatcha doing honey?" I ask coyly as I bounce up and down on the bed, smiling at him. He returns the smile and says, "Just a minute Miss Impatience." He closes the laptop and grabs a piece of paper that just came out of the printer and then walks over to the bed. He extends his hand and offers me the paper. I smile and take it from him and start to read it.

Jason...
Hey bud, it's Jeremy.I would have called but I am in a rush and I know you're at work. This morning I pulled Natalie over on Raab Rd. She was running late for Chuck Brawner's class I guess. I took one of his courses so I know why she was worried about being on time but I think, even with the exam, 103mph in a 45mph is a bit much. She is lucky it was me who stopped her. If one of the other guys would have picked her up, they would have probably arrested her for reckless driving man. Please tell Mrs Lead-Foot to slow it down.
Jeremy


I read the brief email three or four times, trying to stall and remember my so well planned defense speech that had suddenly escaped my mind. He could see I was stalling and snatched the paper back from me. I continued to think and started to pick at my socks nervously, avoiding eye contact. He walked back to the desk and sat the piece of paper down and then walked back toward me, stopping just in front of me. He tucked his hand under my chin and tilted my head up until our eyes met. His narrowed and mine darted to the picture on the wall behind him. "Natalie Lynn." The volume soft but his tone firm.

I looked back up at him but said nothing. "103?" He questioned. I pouted and shook my head yes. "103???" He repeated, irritated at my head nod. "Yes Sir." He glared down at me. "How many times have we discussed your speeding?" I sighed before replying, "A lot?" His eyes again narrowed, "Excuse me?" I immediately recognized my error, "I'm sorry. A lot Sir." Pleased with my corrected response, he continued, "This exam has been scheduled since the beginning of the semester Lynn. So you knew what time you had to be there. Why would you be pulled over 5 minutes AFTER the exam had started, a quarter mile from campus and driving like Mark Martin?" I bit the corner of my lip, "Baby I didn't mean to. I am never late for class. I over slept." He put his hands on his hips, "We have an alarm clock and I reset it for you before I left this morning." He pointed to the night stand and then looked around suddenly confused.

My mind scolding myself for forgetting to place it back before I rushed out this morning. He spotted it, across the room on the floor. "I see. Looks like someone had a temper tantrum with electronics this morning that I have to address as well as time management and driving like a damn idiot." He turned and again stared down into my green eyes. "I'm sorry. I know I can't throw things but it was loud and annoying. And the speeding, honey I was just trying to get to class. I didn't realize how fast I was going. I just wasn't watching the speedometer." I explained in a whiny tone, trying desperately to dig myself out of the hole I'd put myself in to. "No ma'am. Not looking down at the speedometer causes someone to go ten miles over the limit......not more than double it! 103 Lynn.....103!" His voice now elevated and his tone only more nerve-racking. I sighed and resigned myself to my fate, hung my head and whispered "I am sorry Sir."

He sat down on the bed next to me and pulled me over his lap, sliding my pants down as he positioned me on his knee. Then he leaned over and reached toward the night stand and audibly sighed. I bit my lower lip again and started to re-think my hiding the brush. "Never learn, do you?" His voice dripping with irritation as he scooped me up off of his lap and placed me standing and then stood up himself. His hands shot directly to his waist and he started to unbuckle his belt. My heart sank and I went into panic mode. "Nooo honey nooo pleaseee. I'll put it back, I'll put it back." I whined as I turned to grab the brush from the dresser drawer. I made it one step before his hand was wrapped around my wrist, pulling me back toward him as the other hand pulled his belt from his waist. "Too late Lynn. Over, NOW." Raising his voice to emphasize the last word. I knew it was no use to struggle so I obediently crawled up onto the bed, placing two pillows in the center and laying across them.

"Other people may drive like idiots, but MY wife will not.....you know better and if you forget your better judgement, then you'll at least remember the driving guidelines that I've set for you and your learning them with my belt little girl."  SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK

He wasted no time at all laying into my unprotected bottom with that damn belt. I kicked my feet but remained in position.  SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK
"You could have killed yourself or someone else Natalie Lynn. The test was important but your life and well being takes precedence, clear?"  SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK
"Yes Sirrrrr." My reply trailing off into a whine as he focused on my thighs, the supple leather biting into my skin with a force that left no doubt in my mind as to his irritation and concern with what I had done.

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"You had plenty of advance notice to manage your time appropriately and be on time today. You threw a tantrum like a child and threw the clock, which in turn threw your scheduling for a loop. Then you decided to make up for lost time, you would drive AGAIN at triple digit speeds risking your life.......MY WIFE WILL NOT ENDANGER HERSELF OR OTHERS....PERIOD!"  His elevated voice, angry tone and choice of words put a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. I squeezed a pillow and buried my face into it as he continued to whip me. SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK!

I struggled to remain still and in position. I *hate* the belt! He knows it and that has seemed to have moved this implement up to the top of his list of favorite or most effective implements to use to correct his naughty girl. And though he has several belts, he uses only two of them to punish me.....both are wide, thick, awful leather belts....military issued duty belts. They are heavy and they hurt....a lot.......especially when being applied to a bare bottom that hasn't even been hand spanked prior to the whipping. He straps with purpose, ensuring that each swat is placed immediately above or below the last, always in quick succession. When we first got together, he used to whip me much slower, giving me several seconds between the volleys of stinging swats but after about 6 months he said that he thought him whipping me like that gave me too much time to 'distance' or 'harden'. He loves my stubborn tendencies in some things but when it comes to me being punished or domestic discipline in our marriage, he hates it. He knows that if I am spanked in a slow rhythm, I am able to put up a wall and continue to be stubborn throughout the session.....refusing to cry or fully submit to the punishment. He says when I am spanked in that slow fashion, that I dig my heels in and focus more on preparing for the next swat and holding back emotionally.....and he would prefer if I took that time to focus on the reason I am being punished in the first place. Grrrr. I disagreed and prefer having time between swats.......obviously if you read many of our sessions, you can see which of us ended up winning this debate. Ughhhhh.

  SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK  SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK

I stopped kicking my feet and just laid there, clutching the pillow and sobbing into it. He is always very conscious of my breathing, my resisting or lack there of, my body language, vocally whether I am whining or sobbing........he has never let the state of my bottom determine when a punishment will end which is a double-edged sword. At times I will mark incredibly easy and at others he could spank me for hours (and often has) and my bottom will be nothing more than red. He learned early on that my bottom wouldn't be an accurate indicator of when it was truly enough and the lesson was learned. So he relies on a mixture of my non-verbal cues and his own experience. If what I have done is incredibly bad then he has been known to push even further and continue to punish me even if my signs are saying I've had enough and have given in and submitted. I try, most of the time anyway....barring stubborn outbursts, not to struggle with him anymore like I used to in the beginning of our relationship. I used to wiggle, squirm, struggle to break free, block swats, cry, yell.....just put up a life or death fight........he explained to me after I learned the hard way, on my own, that when I behaved that way during a punishment then it told him that I didn't think I deserved it and would struggle for the control to end it.......he is Irish as well, and equally as stubborn so when he saw that he would set himself on a course to change my attitude or break my will......which ever came first. I hate to admit that he is right......but he was right about my refusing to submit, and I rarely do it now. Usually if he is spanking me, I know I do deserve it and willingly submit now, as I said barring stubborn moments, to fix it so I can be forgiven and given a clean slate.

 SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK!  He focused the last several dozen stinging swats to my sit spot and upper thighs. I was so sore by this time that every swat seemed unbearable and I'd throw my head back to gasp for air before again burying my face into the pillow, my cheeks dampened with my tears as they continued to stream down my face.

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He stopped and I heard him replacing his belt through the loops of his jeans and then he walked from the bed. I stayed in position, sobbing into the pillow and listening for him. I heard a dresser drawer slide open and closed and then felt him sit down next to me. He must have been watching when I went to retrieve the brush before he stopped me. Dang dang dang. His strong hands on my hips as he pulled me again over his lap. I laid draped across his knee, my bottom on fire and covered with multiple wide stripes but now upended over his capable lap.

CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK  Several firm swats fell on the right and then...... CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK  the left cheek. CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK
Several more harsh blows connected with my thighs and sit spots. He paddled firm and fast, swatting the same spot three or four times before moving to another and giving it the same treatment.  CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK

"You will NOT move or hide implements from me when you're in trouble young lady. If you do, you'll be punished with whatever implement I have available at the time and then will have a follow up reminder spanking with the implement you chose to hide when I am finished. Clear?" His voice much softer but still a firm resolve. "Yes Sir" I whimpered and then wrapped my arms around his lower leg and held on tightly as he finished paddling me.  CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK   He sat the wooden brush back down on the night stand and lifted me up into his strong arms. He held me tightly to his chest and rubbed my back as his slow, steady breathing slowed my ragged breath and quieted my sobs. Though I hate being punished because I don't like to upset my husband and it hurts like hell, these tiny moments in time immediately after being disciplined, when he holds me in his arms and calms me with his touch.....these have got to be the times when I am happiest. My bottom throbbing, my face streaked with tears but my heart light, my body eager for his touch. I feel so incredibly loved and protected in these few minutes. He loves me enough to lead me, to protect me, to instill discipline in me.....for a better me and a better us.....and that is worth any spanking. :)

We stayed there a couple more minutes and I didn't say anything, I just let him hold me. He swept my hair away from my face and lifted my chin again to kiss me deeply before lifting me up, "Alright, come on imp. Though it didn't save your ass, my dinner smells really good and I am starving." I smiled up at him and went to raise my pants, he stopped me with his large hands over the top of mine and he pushed my hands away. Then he pulled my jeans back up and buttoned them before placing a firm SWAT to my jean-clad bottom to hurry me on my way to get his dinner. He went to the living room and ordered a movie. I walked him his dinner and a beer and then curled up next to him, on a very sore properly punished bottom and we ate dinner and watched the movie with one another that evening. And I made myself a few silent promises......#1 I was buying a radar detector so I could hit the brakes BEFORE a cop spotted me.....#2 No more hiding implements of bratty bottom destruction in dresser drawers.....#3 Addendum to #2, I will instead donate all belts, brushes, paddles & straps to the Good Will box for poor people who can't afford implements to beat their brats. Aren't I such a bleeding heart humanitarian?!  Lol!  ;)