To Our New Readers

11/15/2018

Welcome! I am writing this post as a forward, of sorts, to this blog. If you just stumbled upon this blog, some of the newer entries may confuse you in depth. As with most good stories, it's always best to start at the beginning.

This blog is not fiction. It is the story of a journey. It is my thoughts, feelings, emotions, etc as one half of the relationship depicted. It is real and it is raw. I make no apologies. But for you to understand the depth of this relationship, you'll need to start at the beginning.

In 2012, when this relationship began, it began as simply play. Professor was an older, authoritative man with a penchant for providing real discipline to naughty girls. I was a mid 20's naughty girl seeking an outlet for my spanko kink with no strings attached. He was married and saw several girls off and on for this kind of arrangement. I had recently lost my spouse and was emotionally unavailable for anything more than a spanking-only arrangement.

Over the last 7 years, we have been through a ton together. Clearly our kink relationship deepened, but we also formed an amazing friendship. At 27, when I was diagnosed with metastatic cancer for the 4th time, He was my safe place to hide. In everything else in life, I am the strong one.....I am in charge. I am incredibly independent and most often run the show. With Professor, it is different. I am vulnerable, small, safe.

In mid 2013, Professor collared me. Prior to that, I was simply his spankee. From that day forward, I have been His submissive, and he, my Dom. In the 30+ years that he's met young women for spanking play, He had *never* collared a girl. In the 15 years that I have been actively involved in the spanko lifestyle, I have never accepted or allowed a man to collar me. I had no interest in being a submissive......until Professor. I love spanking.....particularly punishment/discipline......but prior to Professor, those who spanked me did so for fictitious bratty offenses. With Professor, it has always been *real*. To be open and vulnerable and accept real punishment for real offenses requires a deep trust and respect......Professor and I painstakingly built that with one another. Prior to Professor, I had never kneeled before a man........with Him, it was natural. Prior to Professor, I would have never even considered calling a man "Daddy".......but for a time in our relationship, it was right. None of this happened overnight.........we have spent 7+ years building this relationship.

Neither of us planned for our relationship to blossom the way it did, but neither of us would change a thing now. He is happy, and I am happy. I love Him, He loves me. What we have built and continue to share is absolutely amazing.

Professor still occasionally sees other young women for spanking, and I've always supported that. He has the capacity to provide discipline to multiple girls at a time; but He has only ONE submissive. I know providing real spankings to other young women pleases Him, and thus it pleases me. I, on the other hand, would not play with another man, I do not have the capacity to do so, nor would my Dom allow it. I am *His*.

As you read here, understand that this is OUR relationship. Perhaps it's not "right" for you and that's fine. We don't need your approval. If you're envious or jealous of the relationship you read about here, focus on building your own relationship, spanko or otherwise. If you don't like our relationship or the emotions you read of here, find another blog to stalk.......we will not change US for you. If you have questions about our relationship or the evolution of it, feel free to ask. Try to read this blog chronologically so you can follow the natural progression of our relationship...........we did not meet and everything was "perfect" on day #1. I didn't call Him "Daddy" at our first session. I wasn't collared and owned in the first week of seeing Him. This all took time, trust and a lot of work to build. We worked hard to build our relationship and morph our fantasy into reality. We have small issues, like any couple does, but we work together to continue to grow.

I began this blog as a way to journal my own thoughts, emotions, etc as I embarked on a new spanko connection. I had no way of knowing then the depth and intimacy that would come along with it. I write openly, honestly and at times, emotionally. Our relationship is the single most important thing in my life, outside of my son. My Dom has been my anchor, my compass, my kink partner, my best friend, my safe place to fall, my confidante, my disciplinarian, my unconditional support and love through some of the hardest years of my life. As He has faced tough times, I am always beside Him and will continue to be. We love one another. If that bothers you in some way, stop reading here and go find a new hobby. I apologize for nothing!  

It's Been A While

08/30/2018

It's been a while.

A long while.

I probably haven't blogged in more than two years.

My darling Dom and I are still winding our way through this journey of D/s life. Many things have changed in the last 2 years, but the constants that matter are still in tact.

Very recently, I've been struggling with my own submission.

I verbalize it as "what I want now versus what I want most."

I think if I could stop analyzing and get out of my own way, things would be fine. Better than fine even, Blissful, wonderful, Dom/sub heaven. If I could just S-T-O-P.

More to come.......