I tend to categorize my answer to this question into two separate things:
- Obedience aka Reactive Submission
- Surrender aka Proactive Submission
Category #2 is quite a bit more nuanced.
It was waking up every day and asking myself what I could do to please Him that day.
It was making note of his favorite things, important dates, preferred foods, friends/family, routines.
It was hearing Him say that he needed a doctor or lawyer, and me finding him the best in the field and scheduling the appointment.
It was knowing that 'starting over' was difficult for Him, and changing my schedule to go view properties with him.
It was attending his professional events or athletic events he coached simply to support Him.
It was knowing logistics overwhelm Him, and ensuring I found, purchased and delivered literally everything he would need for a new home from each piece of furniture to the linens to the silverware to the rugs to the artwork.
It was decorating together, rearranging furniture together, holding the ladder as he hung the curtains I picked out, staining blind rods together.
It was sensing His hesitance to his new life alone, and finding photographs of His mother and His children and framing them for Him to hang in his new home.
It was encouraging Him to visit his family, for the first time in almost a decade, and paying to upgrade his seat on the flight and arranging parking away from the busy airport for convenience.
It was making sure his holidays were exactly what He wanted, not what others expected.
It was "hiding" an important part of my kink experience to make him happy.
It was listening to Him vent about work or marriage or child rearing concerns.
It was spending 2-3 hours each week cleaning His home and preparing meals for the coming week so He could relax after work and have edible dinners.
It was hearing how sick he was, dropping everything and rushing to take care of him. It was cleaning up the vomit off the floor, coaxing medication & fluids into him, staying awake all night to watch Him and going to work the next day knowing he felt better.
It was helping Him find the 'right' gift for his wife when he hadn't a clue.
It was seeing his sadness when he unpacked his childhood sock monkey his mother made him and seeing it was falling apart.....knowing I sucked at sewing and offering to fix it for him because I knew how much it meant to him. I may have stabbed my own finger 1000 times, but his sock monkey was repaired.
It was laying quietly over his lap while he watched baseball.........although I hate baseball.
It was cutting off toxic friendships at his direction and not questioning it......simply trusting he would only do what was best for me.
It was knowing he wanted a prison strap and finding an authentic one to gift him.
It was asking him to teach me to do something new and committing to learning to do it.
It was watching him take care of everyone other than himself and making him my priority.
It was knowing he hated to shop, so I shopped for a new wardrobe and shoes for him.
It was trying to anticipate his needs or wants.
It was truly growing, learning and maturing under his guidance.
Physical acquiescence isn't all there is to submission.......
Submission is.......so much more