Big Difference.....Be Honest

I am so very tired of seeing other kink friends hurt. I'm not certain why this isn't somehow obvious......but allow me to share something with you:

There is an enormous difference between wanting a playmate and wanting a submissive.

One requires only physical acquiescence, while the other involves emotion and a deep trust and connection. One is for now, in scene only while the other is a commitment and transcends time.

Dominating a body isn't difficult, dominating a mind, heart and soul is a very intricate balance.
Do NOT confuse the two. Do NOT use the terms interchangeably. Playmate and submissive are NOT synonymous.

Know what you want. If you don't know, say so. But don't lie to prospective partners. Don't intentionally mislead people and toy with their emotions to get what you want at the expense of their emotional pain. If you just want to play.......say so! Many people will play with you no strings attached. But don't encourage and initiate connection and trust if you're only in it for the fun and "good times".

Much in D/s, as in life, is emotional. Some people aren't equipped to handle emotion. Some are emotionally ignorant. Others still, have no emotional integrity. And unfortunately for all of us there are a few sociopaths out there that prey on emotion, are devoid of empathy and couldn't care less who they hurt as a means to their end.

Seeking submission when you're not willing or able to care for the gift it is, is setting your relationship up for failure. Encouraging a submissive to depend on you, trust you, share with you, grow with you, build with you, want you and need you without committing to responsibly caring for that dynamic is cruel.

Seeking a casual playmate only but expecting benefits of a D/s relationship like loyalty or exclusivity without committing to earning trust and working to remain worthy of submission is one-sided and selfish.

You have far more than a responsibility to assure another's physical safety when you're accepting submission. You have a responsibility to assure emotional and psychological safety as well. If you can not accept that responsibility, perhaps power exchange isn't for you........get a pet rock.

Hurt happens, sometimes inadvertently. But there would be so much less of it if people were honest about their intentions, expectations, capacities and emotions.