I drove down to meet with Professor this afternoon for a much-needed punishment session. I knew it would be a hard one. The main topic of this session is a problem that we have struggled with for a while now; communication issues. I will at times keep things from him, trying to protect his time or decrease his stress but he ultimately finds out and the worry created by my editing only makes it worse. Then I added two other communication related offenses in the last week between the holidays. I've been stressed out and overwhelmed and I have twice now said "shut the fuck up" via IM or text to him. Once accidentally (it was intended for someone else) but the other time was via my sister and was absolutely meant for him.....I just didn't believe she would truly repeat it to him.....she did.....big 'no-no.' I apologized profusely......but I knew it still needed to be addressed in person. I have *NEVER* and would *NEVER* say this to his face......certainly not without expecting to be slapped across the face for it. I respect Professor immensely and my mood aside, showing that kind of disrespect is not okay.......with him or with me.......we both expect better behavior from me and I had let us both down. Then I had sworn in court and accepted phone calls from someone I am not allowed to speak with.......both "no no's". The only non-communication related offense that was on my punishment list was my choosing to exceed his limit on my handbag purchases in the beginning of December. I'm allowed to purchase one a month, no more unless I have prior permission from him; I wrote about this offense in December when it happened (Addict VS Junkie).......I've not ever violated this limit before but when I did it in early December, I did it by a whole lot......4 times my limit.
He knocked on the door and my stomach turned. I walked toward the door, kicking my heels off as I did......I sort of like being shorter than Professor. :) I turned the knob and opened the door for him and quickly scurried away and off to the side, watching him closely. He stepped in, meeting my gaze before I looked down to escape. I stood still against the wall and watched quietly as he discarded his bag onto the dresser top and then he approached, stopping just inches from me. I hesitantly peered up at him and he opened his arms. I smiled and rushed to him, locking my arms tightly around his waist as he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me close. I held tight to him; a lot had happened since we last were together and finally being with him and in his embrace felt so good.....familiar.....safe. I suppose my looming fate and communications lesson may have persuaded me to linger in his embrace as well.......but mostly I stayed because I love how perfectly I fit tucked under his arms when he hugs me.
When I slowly let him go, he held onto my shoulders and held me at arms length for a minute or two as he looked down at me. I slowly looked up at him, my eyes searching his for a moment before he finally spoke.
"I'm glad you're alright." He said quietly, still holding my emerald eyes hostage. I smiled briefly and said, "I missed you......and of course I'm alright, I told you, you're stuck with me now Dad." He smiled at me and hugged me tightly again before walking toward the desk and picking up the copy of my Punishment List. My heart sunk.
"Well we last saw one another a month ago but that was for a roleplay. So I haven't actually punished you in two months.......so I suppose 5 offenses in 2 months isn't all that bad considering you used to have more than that each week. However, since I expect my daughter to be disciplined and I hold you to high standards, five offenses even in 2 months is unacceptable, young lady." He admonished. I began nervously chewing the corner of my bottom lip and fidgeting with my fingers. I could feel his eyes on me......his stare in scene is absolutely penetrating.
My downcast eyes watched helplessly as his feet came out from behind the desk and again approached me. I knew a hug wasn't on its way this time. He stopped just short of me and his large left hand reached out, tucking under my chin and tilting my face up to his. I reluctantly locked eyes with him again, my stomach in knots.
"Your five offenses, every single one of them, is a deliberate break of rules I set......limits you agreed to obey. That seem a bit unacceptable to you, young lady?" He asked. I nodded my head yes but didn't speak, relatively certain it was a rhetorical question. "Go put your nose in that corner, Natalie Lynn." He barked as he extended his right arm and pointed across the room. I slowly walked over to the corner, still chewing my bottom lip, my mind reeling. I stood facing the corner less than a minute before he spoke again. "Take your skirt off, and the scarf too." He ordered. I stepped back from the wall and slowly slid my black skirt down over my hips and let it fall to the floor as I reached for the scarf and removed it from my neck. I took both garments to the dresser top, folding them carefully before discarding them and making my way back to the corner........and there I stood........nervously waiting.
********************TO BE CONTINUED***************************