Friday, August 23, 2013
Impaired Driving (Pt.1)
"Where are you, Natalie Lynn?"
That's the text message I got at 7:15 this morning from Daddy. Feeling a bit giddy and a bit courageous and bratty, I replied.
"Good morning to you too. Why do you ask?"
A minute later....another beep.....he responded with:
"If you are not at the hotel, pull over & tell me where you are at so I can come get you...NOW."
Uh oh.....I reread that text a couple times....my liquid courage quickly dissipating as I realized by his request that he had to have known about last night. Shit! My mind began to panic, my stomach felt uneasy. I had planned to see Daddy today. I'm stressed and actually hadn't had much on my punishment list to be punished for so today's session would be a "good girl/just because/stress relief spanking"........at least that was the plan. DAMN IT!
See last night being overwhelmed & stressed to the max and having 12 hours before I would be seeing Daddy, I decided I needed some sort of release........so I originally went off to go swimming. However, the damn police seem to have issues with people swimming when there is lightening......so my "workout til I pass out" idea was shot down. Now what?? I began to drive back home but stopped in the city for gas and then saw this cute, quaint little pub across the street and I just *had* to go in.
It was already 2:15am and the bar would close at 3am......so I had to make up quickly for lost time. I have a drink limit put in place by my Dom and it is not negotiable.....and I know this.....I simply didn't care after a couple drinks. I ended up having 4......exceeding my hard limit by double. This would have been bad enough.....but my ignorance continued. I decided I would still drive myself home. My older brother texting to check on me, knew what was happening and was livid......I just didn't think he would email my Dad......I thought wrong.
Now, hours later, still slightly tipsy and rereading the text message.......I knew that he knew. I was screwed. This was bad......really, really bad. I texted Dad back and assured him I was safe and asked if he wanted to go to the beach......he wasn't amused, and told me to go stay at the hotel for a couple hours & sober up while he worked and then he would meet me later in the morning to "discuss" the previous nights events.
3 hours later, I paced up & down the hall of the hotel, my shaking hand holding my phone as I continued to read his earlier texts. My eyes welled with unshed tears. How could I have been so damn stupid?? I could literally feel the anger behind his messages to me. I knew he was angry...concerned...and disappointed. I don't think I could have felt any smaller than I did in that moment. Breaking a rule is bad enough......exceeding my drinking limit is not tolerated and that alone would have displeased him. But driving intoxicated?? I DON'T drive intoxicated! I know better! What was I thinking? He was going to kill me.
At 11am my phone rang as Daddy called to say he had arrived but couldn't get in the door. I walked toward the stairwell to go let him in when he said "Oh, thank you" to some random man who had opened the door for him. I bolted back to my room and rushed inside, slamming the door. I knew he was only seconds from me and I was scared to death. I felt horrible for the poor choices I had made and I knew I deserved any punishment he chose to administer, but I absolutely *hate* disappointing my Dad......I didn't want to see the look on his face. I just wanted to crawl under the bed and hide and wish this entire situation away. I've never had to face my Dad for this insanely ignorant offense......I've driven after drinking before but it is an offense he made crystal clear to me on day #1 that he wouldn't ever tolerate. Not only was it stupid, it was dangerous.....to me and to others. My internal panic gauge soared. Typically when I am punished, there is days to weeks between the offense and the punishment......even when I've really upset my Dad, he has plenty of time to calm down & assess the situation before holding me accountable......not this time......I was practically caught in the act.......red-handed.......and soon to be red-bottomed.
His knocking on the door seemed to boom & echo throughout the hotel room. It literally made me jump. I didn't want to open that door.....I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry......and as I contemplated, he knocked again. I walked over to unlatch the door. I peered out and there stood the towering frame of my father. I took a step back to let him in the room. As he entered and the door closed behind him, I began to fidget with my fingers as I looked down at the green carpet and awaited my fate. My eyes occasionally scanned my Dad's posture & body language before again locking on the floor. He stood inches from me, his strong arms folded across his broad chest in a typical agitated paternal stance that always makes me pout.
My mind was in a panicked free fall......he still had said nothing to me.....not a word. I was so scared that my body began to shake. I couldn't take the silence any longer and I meekly managed to say "I'm so sorry, Sir." My voice was very notably trembling. I watched his feet approach me, stopping directly in front of me, before closing my eyes tightly. I felt him pulling me into him, close to his chest as he wrapped his arms around me, hugging me tightly. I quickly locked my arms around his waist, holding tight to him. I just wanted to stay in his arms all day......as long as his arms are holding me, I am safe from his evil belt. But alas, he finally released his hold on me......taking me by the shoulders and holding me at arms length as he spoke.
"Look at me, young lady." His voice was eerily quiet and the anger, worry & disappointment was notable in every syllable he spoke. I took a deep breath, preparing myself for that glare as I slowly raised my eyes to make eye contact for the first time today. His gorgeous brown eyes were flashing that cold, sadistic stare that always makes me want to retreat my gaze immediately.....but I couldn't. It seemed an eternity before he spoke again. "It's good to see you.......ALIVE." I jumped as he raised his voice, my stomach feeling nauseous. I fought back the impending tears and softly said, "Daddy I'm sorry."
His eyes narrowed at mine and he quickly snapped back, "Shut your mouth. I don't want to hear it. Go put your nose in the corner, now." I lowered my eyes and retreated to the corner, dreading the coming punishment and lecture that were on the horizon.
*********TO BE CONTINUED***************