No No No.......Not that kind of sub (although turkey with tomatoes, cucumber & provolone sounds pretty good.....yum.....lol).......Okay, enough about sandwiches, this is about a perfect submissive.
I wrote a few years ago about what I envisioned the *perfect* Dom would be.......the other day, my younger spanko sister asked me to forward it to her. She & I talked some about what I had written and how eerily similar my Daddy Dom is to what I had put on paper so many years ago.....as if I had dreamed this man into reality.....I'll post that writing another time, but I will say it truly is astounding how amazingly similar my Daddy is to what I had penned my "fantasy Dom" to be several years before Daddy & I even met.
Any way, following my sister & I's discussion about my writing of a perfect Dominant, she asked for my thoughts on a perfect submissive. She is 8 years younger than I am and as naturally spanko as I am myself, so we often discuss the topic and she turns to me for advice or to ask questions, etc.
"What is a perfect submissive?"........."How will I know how to be a perfect sub?"
I listened to her and explained that "perfect", just as beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.
But later that night, lying in my bed curled up with my darling dachshunds, her questions came back to me. I thought.........I pondered.........I wondered.........I analyzed.
Could there truly be perfection in submission? And if so, what would it look like? How would it be defined?
I know, without a doubt, that I am certainly *not* perfect........in my submission or any other facet of my life.
But in my submission to my Daddy, I long to be perfect.......I strive to be *His* perfect little girl.
I am always learning......I try so hard to learn my lessons the first time, so as not to make him repeat himself over & over which causes him annoyance. I don't intentionally misbehave or act out.......I am not a brat on purpose.......my discipline is not a game to me (or to Daddy), he is patiently teaching & guiding me to truly better myself in areas of my life that I simply have no restraint or struggle to do what I know is right.
I make mistakes....I fail.....I fall short.....I disappoint.....I slip up......I struggle.....I disobey.....I let my Daddy down at times, and I let myself down too.
Each time I fall down, he extends his strong hand to help me back up to try again. He will never accept any less than my best......he will not sugarcoat anything for me......he will not simply tell me what I want to hear. When I fail, he will be brutally honest with me and hold me accountable. I work to always accept my punishment with grace......I do not struggle......I do not resist......I fight to keep my hands from instinctively attempting to protect my burning bottom........I keep my audible discontent to a minimum, choking back my sobs and accepting each searing swat I know I have earned. I am contrite and eager to endure my punishment and pay for my misdeeds in order to receive his forgiveness.....be given a clean slate again......and held in his strong arms.
I always strive to win my Dom's approval........I aim to please Him.......I swoon at his affection.......melt at his touch.......bask in his dominance.
But the more I considered her question of a perfect submissive.......I realized if there is such a thing, it certainly isn't me. I'm human and I fail.......plain and simple........despite my best efforts, I still fail........and Daddy makes mistakes too.......we may have the best of intentions but we still are capable of missing the mark.
We are in an ever evolving relationship. While our dynamic and foundation may be set, at times it is shaken. It's when I fail that I need to pull in, not push away. Analyzation and introspection are okay but I can't run away or hide from my Daddy regardless of how ashamed I may be or how much I know he will be disappointed in me.
Despite my mistakes, at the end of the day, my Daddy is my safety net........my security in this chaotic world........my rock.......my shoulder to cry on......the arms that hold me......the dark expressive eyes that convey the depth of their love for me.
I may not be a perfect sub.....but I am okay with that, because I am *His* submissive.
*His* perfectly imperfect submissive little girl.