Friday, November 29, 2013
Needy Lil Sub Girl
Needy........such a perfect word to describe how I am feeling right now. It is more than accurate; a precise, exact diagnosis.
I am incredibly needy at the moment. I miss my Daddy so much that it hurts. I have not been in the physical presence of my amazing Dom in almost 3 months now. Sure we have still spoken nearly every day via phone, email or instant message as we always do in between our times together.......but it simply is not the same. I've had to wait longer than this only once before in our 2 years together.........and it sucked, much like this, but somehow this time seems far more difficult at the moment.
As with the only other lengthy delay, this is not something we can control, which for some may make it easier to accept.........but for me it simply makes the ache of longing seem unbearable because I *need* control.
My Daddy has been amazingly supportive throughout the medical ordeals I've faced since we last were with one another. He understands how difficult this has become for me and he has made sure to be available to me on an almost constant basis.......even losing sleep multiple times in order to keep his Yahoo instant messenger on 24/7 so I can reach him at even 3 in the morning. Today he even created a "Daddy App" for me to install on my phone with several key phrases I love to hear from him. :) It definitely put a smile on my face and drastically improved my mood. He is kind of amazing like that; I'd venture to say he is "sweet" but that might just get my ass whipped. :)
Perhaps the worst part of this entire thing is unlike the other delay, we are not separated geographically right now. I *AM* close to him.......close enough to simply drive to him......but we have yet been able to make that work due to schedules, conflicting appointments and a steady stream of medical chaos. Ughhhh.
I just want to scream!!!!!
The more I think about it, the more needy I feel. I miss him so much that it truly hurts and it is a deep, nagging sort of hurt. I'm so very close to him but still unable to be with him and it is driving me slowly insane. I often think of our times together when I'm having a particularly challenging or stressful day because it quiets and resets my overwhelmed little mind; but the more I recall our amazing time together, the more desperate I feel right now. I've cried so much these last few weeks especially. The holidays are right around the corner, as is his birthday, and I want nothing more than to be with him. I definitely need a Daddy-daughter day.
I miss my Daddy. I need him, I want him, I long to be in his presence. As each day ticks by, that aching & burning need only intensifies. I depend on my Dom for far more than a hot scene. He is my anchor in the chaotic sea of life. He calms and balances me like nothing else ever has or possibly could. When my world goes haywire and I feel I might lose my sanity, I know I can run to him and hide away from it all in his strong arms and he will shield me from the world for a while. His touch & embrace absolutely melt me, his deep & steady voice lulls me, his dark expressive brown eyes quiet my over-analytical mind and send every nerve ending in my body into a heightened sense of over-drive.
He is my serenity. He is my Dom. He is my favorite way to spend a day.....simply basking in his overwhelming dominance. He is my behavioral compass. He is the shoulder I cry on. He is the strong arms that hold me. He is my best friend. He is my playmate. He is the silky smooth voice that invades my naughty dreams. He is my Daddy.
I need to be with him......soon......very, very soon. I need an escape from my chaotic & crazy reality. I need to submit to him. I need his touch. I need that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach as his penetrating stare stops me dead in my naughty tracks. I need his voice in my ear. I need him methodically whipping my bare bottom. I need his dominance to overwhelm me. I need to surrender all control and power to him, allowing myself to simply relish in the sensations of being his girl, his property, his daughter, his playmate, his submissive.
Needy............hit the nail right on the head!