Thursday, October 24, 2013
Spank Her Til She Knows It
I came upon this pic during one of my spank-horny moments as I searched Google and Bing for my spanking, discipline & Dominance/submission fix for the day. :) Yes, I am absolutely addicted to my D/s relationship & the dynamic I share with my amazing Daddy Dom......he is my drug of choice.
This pic is adorable and touching.....the intimacy of the embrace is beautiful, the smiles speak for themselves, and the words are oh so true! Definitely resonated with me.
I read some spanko girls blogs and listen to them struggle with self-doubt or even self-loathing when they've gotten into trouble and earned themselves a spanking. It's a definite negative for them and that is clear in their writing. I guess I am different and just can't truly relate to them.
When I am in real trouble with my Daddy and I know I've disappointed him then it does effect me emotionally. I truly hate to let him down because he means so much to me and I am constantly seeking his approval. But I have *never* viewed my spankings as a negative for me or for us. It is a passion for both of us......we are spankos and we both have a very discernable discipline core to our spanko-ness. Quite simply......spanking and discipline is what we do. My most intense punishment spankings do effect me on an emotional level because I am struggling to get through the guilt or shame of my offense that precipitated the consequences.......but even so, every spanking I receive is a *positive* experience for me.
Obviously our role play spankings, maintenance spankings, just-because spankings, etc are a double positive.......we are indulging in our kink, enjoying one another in our own special world and all without the burden of heavy emotions from knowing I've fallen short of my Doms expectations for me.......it's truly a win-win situation. Love it. :)
My punishment spankings are a little different. The emotional baggage makes them more difficult for me. I hate to disappoint my Daddy. I don't like irritating him or annoying him or angering him either......but disappointing him is absolutely the worst feeling in this world. I have been my Daddy's girl for just under 2 years now so I know very well what he expects of me, what behavior is allowed and what consequences I will face if I fall short. Now any time I am in trouble, I know it immediately......as soon as I do or say something, I instantaneously know that I've crossed the line and am going to be in trouble.......I know it before I have even confessed to Daddy. Depending on the seriousness of the offense, my emotional reactions can run the gamete from simple regret to full-blown heavy guilt or shame. By the time I am held accountable and having to stand before my father on my weak, wobbly knees to answer for my misbehavior, we have spoken through what I did wrong, I've apologized multiple times and promised to learn from my mistakes and move forward doing better.........so the only thing left to do is to thoroughly punish me for my misdeeds to ensure the lesson sinks in, make certain I have tangible consequences to pay for what I did wrong, and provide the physical pain to guide me through the emotional turmoil in order for me to forgive myself and move forward knowing I am forgiven. So in a way.....my punishment spankings are actually a gift my Daddy gives to me.
I am often harder on myself than Daddy is on me......that's not to say he is a pushover.....far from it......he is incredibly demanding and strict with me......but he is a reasonable man and most often has forgiven me for my naughtiness before he even spanks me. I, on the other hand, will continue the internal dialogue like a broken record, replaying the stupid choice I made and lecturing myself for being so poorly behaved when I do know better. My punishment spankings are long, hard, thorough, physically intense and at times quite severe. They serve the purposes of allowing my Daddy Dom to clearly express his discontent with my bad behavior in a very primal way that leaves no doubt in my mind as to who I belong to and ultimately will always have to answer to.....and it serves the purpose of granting me a road to redemption, a way to pay for my mistakes, a physical consequence to cleanse my mind of the emotional chastisement. A gift......my punishment spankings truly are a gift.
I read other girls writing and see how they are in and stay in a negative mind space during their punishments.....I just can not seem to grasp that concept.
Even when I am laying upended over my Daddy's capable lap, my bared bottom & thighs being soundly paddled by our wicked bath brush, hot salty tears rolling down my cheeks......I feel loved.
When I am laying on the bed with my hips propped up by pillows, effectively raising my sore bottom & thighs up into the perfect position to be a clear target, looking back over my shoulder and locking my swollen teary eyes onto my father's dark brown orbs as he raises his strong left arm back over his shoulder and swings down with incredible force, searing lash after lash of that awful extension cord into my flesh as I struggle to maintain position......I feel loved.
The moments when I am standing in the center of the room with my jeans & panties entangled at my ankles, my hair a disheveled mess sticking to my tear-streaked face, eyeliner running down my cheeks, my bare bottom already ablaze from an hour or more of relentless spankings and OTK paddlings, my green eyes watching helplessly as my strict Daddy slowly rolls the sleeves up on his left arm as his dark expressive eyes silently convey an "I'm nowhere close to finished with your ass yet, young lady", then my body shakes and I plead with my puffy eyes as my ears hear the distinct sound of his belt buckle jingle as he reaches to unbuckle it and pull it free from its loops making an awful swooshing sound that sends chills up my spine and knots my stomach with regret, extending his strong muscular right arm to point me to the chair back or couch he wants me to bend over to present him his target as he holds the buckle in his strong left palm and wraps the thick leather around his hand a couple times leaving a good 3 feet dangling free and ready to rain down punishing strokes criss-crossing my already bruising ass & upper thighs with angry red welts as I sob out my remorse........I feel loved.
Punishment spankings are painful.......physically and emotionally.......but they are never a negative experience for me. They're a gift and offer me a chance to feel like I've made amends and paid for my poor judgement or impulsive decisions. They're always an intense exchange between my Daddy and I that connect us in a way nothing else comes close to. Always a positive. It is a need that I have that my Daddy understands because his own needs are complimentary to my own. I need to be held accountable, I need to have tangible consequences, I need to be roughly taken in hand, harshly punished & put in my place.......my Daddy needs to lead, needs to guide, needs to teach, needs to discipline, needs to shake his naughty girl back to reality, needs to hold her accountable, needs to administer the serious & severe old-fashioned corporal punishment I deserve and crave. Completely complimentary needs, wants and desires........combined with a depth and level of connection, trust, love, respect and complete adoration........*ALWAYS* makes even my most intense punishment spankings a very positive experience.
There is not much that comes close to making me feel as loved as I do when my Daddy takes me in hand. I always feel small when I am with my Daddy Dom.......and it is a very good sort of small. I feel loved, protected, safe if even from my own poor judgement, adored, cherished.......an amazingly good sort of small........a little girl in the presence of her profoundly strict but unwaveringly supportive & loving father.
I am cherished........I am loved........I am *His*..........
And he spanks me til I know it! :)