Monday, February 17, 2014
My Daddy is off on vacation for the week.
He left on Saturday......not quite 48 hours ago and yet, I am already missing him.
I go through this every time we are separated, whether geographically or in regards to connectivity, and this trip is a mixture of both. I will be able to email with him, but none of our regular phone calls and no online chatting......simply emails for the week.
I'm in a sulky mood because we didn't even get to have a "goodbye" phone call. Things just got too hectic in his last day and it didn't happen. I got it via instant message.....but that is not his voice and quite frankly, not what I wanted or needed. I'm sick and miserable and I needed my Daddy's voice.
I know I am being a baby and whining about this more than I should, but it sucks. Having those last calls, hearing his voice, listening to his expectations......it always pulls me closer to him and makes the sudden drop off in communication seem somehow easier. I didn't get that this time so we will see how that effects my mood in the days to come.
The last time I heard his voice was on Valentine's Day......which was a very positive call and I absolutely melted when he called just to say:
"I'm not a card kind of guy but I had to call to make sure you knew how much I love you.....you do know how much I love you, don't you?"
:) That was actually incredibly sweet and it put a huge smile on my face.
I struggle a bit with withdrawals and missing him like crazy every time he is away.....work, vacation, etc. I imagine that is simply indicative of what a profound, central force he truly is in my day to day life. We don't even talk every day, but it is my knowing that I *can* call him anytime I need him that makes me feel so anchored......and hence less anchored when that is disrupted.
I know I will survive and be okay. I've been his girl for 2 years now (actually 2 years this week to be exact, but don't get me started on the significance of that date when I wont even hear from him on it)......so I know what he expects from me in his absence and I know what he will not tolerate. I know the "happy Daddy" homecomings are soooo much better than the "you did what??" homecomings........and I know which of the two I am aiming for.
So throughout the next week I will go from sulking, pouting and missing him like crazy......to busy work, writing, reading, anything to keep my mind preoccupied.......back to missing him like crazy and feeling like it's been an eternity since I've had him. And on and on and on. But I will make it through and he will make it home to me.....as he always does......and I will again be a happy girl, completely content to have unrestricted access to her Daddy. :)
Until then.......my Daddy truly does *need* and *deserve* this vacation so I am hoping he has an amazing time with his boys. I'll behave while he is away so he can come home proud of his little girl. It is only a week........someone remind me of this phrase in about two days. ;)
Bon Voyage, Daddy! XOXOXO