Monday, February 23, 2015
February 23rd, 2015
"Tomorrows freedom is found in today's surrender.
When I let go, I can live fully."
It did not come easily for me. Surrender. Submission. Oh I wanted it, but on my terms and under my micromanagement. :)
I had to learn to truly let go. Let go of the control I *thought* I had over my life, in actuality I had very little. I had to stop forcing my own will onto reality, it was a losing battle. I had to truly understand that there are things in life of which I have zero control, and those things I needed to accept.......with grace (my Daddy Dom's addendum).
It wasn't easy. Actually for the longest time it was pure hell for me. I *needed* control. I *needed* power. Without either, I felt too vulnerable. My tough girl façade had no allocation for the feelings of fear, helplessness, weakness.
I am far from perfect. I am still learning. But, I am no longer grasping at every ounce of control with a white-knuckled fist. I am okay with selective surrender. I am learning to truly love and bask in my unquestioned submission.
I know he will take care of me. I know I am not alone. I know my trust is well-placed. I know he will test my limits and deliver me safely to the other side.
I have found no freedom more rewarding than unabashed acquiescence and complete submission to this man.