Saturday, March 23, 2013
Anger in D/s
Professor says anger is a highly over-rated emotion......and I tend to agree with him......he is a pretty smart man. :) He has also told me that displaying that anger, unless done strategically, is selfish......again, I agree. One of my readers recently asked me some questions regarding dealing with anger in a D/s relationship. Here are my thoughts on the subject.
#1: Have you ever been punished when your Dom was angry? ......with Professor, no, never. With my husband, once. In my own personal D/s relationships there is constant communication and open lines of direct emotion. My Dom has and does often complete my sentences.....he knows me better than I know myself at times. That sort of bond inspires a lot of confidence. With both my husband and Professor, I entered our relationship with eyes wide open and *chose* to offer my submission. Not selectively.....not only when I agree.....not when I feel like it........all the time, every single day, I wake up knowing I *belong* to one man......and that makes me smile. I could not submit if I did not trust, so being that I trust and chose to submit......I had no further decision to make. I am heard.....my opinions respected.......but decisions are made by Him, not me. Part of trusting is submitting to punishment, whether or not I agree at the time. I have never used a safe word or any other for of manipulation to maintain control of our D/s relationship.......I simply trust.
#2: How do you deal with your Top yelling when he is angry? ........... I don't. I will say that Professor has raised his voice at me strategically at times and I jump every time he does it. I can recall only once where he yelled at me from pure anger......that was via phone when he heard I'd went behind his back to defy him and put myself in serious danger. He was livid. How did I react? I shut the hell up and listened, only occasionally offering a meek "yes Sir" or "no Sir." I cried.....a lot. Professor is an extremely mild tempered man.....I used to doubt he had anger in his makeup.......I clearly know different now. It takes quite a bit to ignite that fire.....but once lit......watch out. I don't care to ever see that side of my Dom again and I can almost promise I wont. Typically, Professor is a very measured man. Always in control. Demanding but not micromanaging. Dominant but not loud and obnoxious. When I'm *really* in serious trouble, he is very quiet and intense in his response to me. He will walk up behind me in the corner, sweeping my hair off my shoulder and whispering something spine-tingling in my ear. Quiet and intense is *far* more effective than loud and obnoxious.