Wednesday, November 19, 2014
I Am Here. Always
I am here.
I have never left.
I never will.
I understand that you need space right now; but please don't forget that I am*your* girl and it is okay for you to lean on me occasionally too. I don't mind, I swear I don't.
You have always been there for me when I needed you; it's more than okay to let me repay that kindness, Sir.
I struggled today. A lot.
I can count on one hand the number of days like this that we have had in our 3 year relationship.......and still have extra fingers. Perhaps its rarity is what makes it so difficult. I always have constant access to you and speak with you every single day (perhaps I am a bit spoiled...not that I am complaining) so when these days arise and I get the "I'm not ok. I need space now." message.......I have to fight an internal conflict. I want to respect your request/demand for time & space.......but on the other hand I know it means you are *not* okay and I want to rush to you as quickly as possible to "fix it."
Ever the obedient girl, I have always opted for selection #1 and simply waited patiently for your return to me. And again today, this is what I have done.
Daddy I know there is a lot going on right now. Several stressors. Frustration teetering toward insanity. Some we can control, others we can not.......it is with the latter that we apply The Serenity Prayer (or so my wonderful father has told me).
I understand I am not the cause of the issues that have you at the brink today, but I feel in small ways like I contributed to the frustration. I'm sorry.
Nothing in this world that affects you does *not* affect me. You are mine, and I, yours. I love you more than words could ever hope to express and I hate to see you upset. I know men don't "vent".......but if you wanted to, I would listen. I know Doms don't cry.......but if you wanted to, I have a shoulder. If you simply need an outlet for your frustration at the circumstances.......I will volunteer for a "just because I'm pissed at the world" beating.
I am here, Sir. When you are ready, I am here. I've never left. I never will. I love you.