Wednesday, December 12, 2012
What is it about certain things, situations that make a grown woman feel like a little girl?
Obviously throughout a session, I am transported to that small mindset time and again. Waiting for Professor to arrive, knowing I'll soon be punished. Standing in the corner. Having to stand before him, pouting up at his steely, determined glare hoping for leniency. Being draped across his capable lap. Having my bare bottom soundly spanked for misbehaving. Being held in his arms, after I've been punished as I sob.
Then of course there are the phrases he says that will instantaneously make me dip into that small frame of mind.
"Young lady."....."Little girl"....."Go put your nose in that corner"....."Naughty girl"....."You know better" ....."Do I need to repeat myself?"....."I suggest you lose that attitude.".....etc
The list goes on and on.
A lot of times, just being with Professor makes me feel small. Being with him when I'm not really with him has the same effect (phone calls, emails). It's funny how quickly that 27 year old woman who can take on the world morphs into a young, naughty girl when I am in his presence.
But aside from the verbal triggers and those within a scene or session, sometimes Professor will make a request (okay.....demand) that I do something and it just spins me into that transformation.
The other night I was in a horrible mood; it had been an incredibly bad day. He and I had been speaking via instant messenger for a while and my mood was very apparent. After 15 minutes or so talking, I told him I was packing a bag and running away. I was going to leave with no destination in mind, turn off my phone and have no contact with anyone until I was 'over it.' Funny how quickly a father reacts to such a threat. :)
"No, you're not running away. You do need a break and I'm fine with you taking one; but you're not going to run off and make me worry like that, young lady. Stop being irrational. You need sleep."
"Fine, I'll go lay down for my typical 3 hours of sleep and I'll wake up SOOOOO much more 'rational'. Happy?"
For the record, I *rarely* snap back at Professor like this; it was just one of those days. As rare as it is that I would speak to him like this, it is even more rare that he would allow it.....again, it was just one of those days.
"No, you need to sleep, take medicine if you have to, but you need to get your moody butt in bed and stay there for a nice, long sleep. It will do wonders."
I rolled my eyes and sighed and even stomped my feet (thankfully he couldn't see me doing this or I would have been sent off to bed with a very sore bottom). I didn't think I cared to be shooed off to bed like a child. So after protesting for a while, I submitted. Professor has a way of convincing me to submit to his requests. I sulked and stomped my way to my room, rolling my eyes and angry that I was being treated like a little girl. But as I crawled into bed, I smiled (for the first time that day) because I think I actually really like that he had sent me off to bed like a little girl. It's not nearly as offensive a prospect when I consider that he isn't treating me like *a* little girl.......he is treating me like *His* little girl. And I really kind of love being his little girl. :)
Being sent off to bed.....being grounded.....standing in the corner.....the scolding.....the spanking..... being held in his strong arms.....being told "NO".....having limits & rules to follow.........damn near every interaction with Professor makes me feel small, safe, loved. And I think I really like that.....a lot. :)