Saturday, July 26, 2014
Under A Rock
Unless you happen to live under a rock, there is no way you made it through this week without noting that the trailer has been released for the upcoming, Fifty Shades of Grey, movie. And of course every under-fucked soccer mom in America is anxiously awaiting the full movie set to open in February 2015.
While I have no problem with people indulging in this film, the trilogy of books, etc.......I do have an issue with the stereotypes so clearly evident in this "literature".......and the fact that the world is buying into the negative connotations thrown at people in the REAL world of D/s, BDSM, DD, TTWD.
I, out of curiosity, read the trilogy of books. I had an open mind and was hopeful that it would be written accurately and depict our kink in a positive light.....as so many others have failed to do......2002's The Secretary comes to mind. Ughh.
What I found was poorly written "vanilla logic" used to explain why BDSM exists. Note, naturally, poor Mr. Grey just *had* to have something 'wrong' with him in order to be a Dom. He had to have serious psychological issues which he repressed and masked by seeking to control naïve young women. Because this would sooo naturally explain his inner sadist.
Oh and not to mention poor Anastasia. She was young, insecure, naïve and oh-so trusting. And she naturally fell head over heels in love with this man (or his money) and was tricked into submission. WTF? Really???
Why does there have to be a 'reason' or an 'explanation' for why we indulge in our kink? Why do we have to have a justification? Is the world truly that blind?
I get that not everyone is going to understand, per se, why some people enjoy inflicting pain and others love receiving it. But perhaps, since you don't understand it or have a grasp on it, you should NOT write about it as the facts of the matter.
True, there are MANY in this kink who have psychological issues......and those of us who are responsible, avoid them like the plague. But the majority of us 'spankos', 'sadists', 'masochists', etc are perfectly N-O-R-M-A-L human beings. We are educated, have successful careers, loving families, we pay our taxes, we coach our kid's sports teams, we live right next door to you and you'd never even suspect.
My Dom is an amazing man. Yes, he has a penchant for disciplining his naughty girls and has a darker inner sadist that I adore having the privilege of provoking in scene.......but he truly is one of the best men I have ever met in my life. Incredibly warm, well-spoken, gorgeous, caring, a doting father, an amazing and loving man. As far as being psychologically 'deviant'......I pause to laugh here.....the man is about as on-base and even-keeled as they come. Perfectly N-O-R-M-A-L!
I, on the other hand, am an entirely different story when it comes to "normal." :)
Throughout the books, the sex was great......who doesn't want to have their hair pulled as they're fucked like there will be no tomorrow? Aside from the sex, it was literary vomit. And I do not know how many times any self-respecting author can repeat his or herself in a single chapter. I do not think I could possibly count the times I scanned the phrase "inner goddess" throughout the three books. I, personally, know a more talented literary genius in the form of a 16 year old CHILD.
Another *way off base* aspect she writes of is punishment. Did ANY of you NOT laugh hysterically when she imagined the "worst possible punishment" Mr. Grey would inflict upon his new submissive was 6 swats with a belt??? I could have choked reading that chapter. On what planet does this woman reside? For fuck's sake, at least visit a scene club to get an idea of a true punishment for your book, lady. I would love to see the expression on my Daddy's face if I told him that when I displease him, he is *only* allowed to give me 6 swats.......with any damn implement.
I try not to be judgmental, but I am also incredibly protective of those people and things that are close to my heart. There was no way I could *not* be critical of this Fifty Shades phenomenon. If you want to write about kinky sex, then label it as such. If you want to write about REAL D/s, BDSM, TTWD then do your research, talk with those of us who live this every day.
And lastly, if you want to work on "explaining" the "why" behind a kink........leave us spankos alone........go find out why some people get off fucking kids, others screw corpses, and still more are raping Chihuahuas! Those kinks are deviant and need explained........me getting off by kneeling before my Dom or submitting to him whipping my ass......not so much. And I *promise* you, the world is a MUCH better place *because* I am spanked.
And in case you do live under a rock........here is the trailer: