Friday, July 18, 2014
Just One of Those Days
Whatever you do in life, give 100%. ~~~~~~~~~~ Um...what about when I donate blood?
I expect you to be tactful. ~~~~~~~~~~ Tact is for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic.
You need to manage your anger. ~~~~~~~~~~ I wouldn't need to manage my anger if everyone else would manage their stupidity.
You do not have to be sarcastic. ~~~~~~~~~~ Oh but I do, because beating the shit out of people is still illegal.
You can not judge a book by its cover. ~~~~~~~~~ Oh puh-lease, tell me you have never looked at a person and knew the wheel was turning but the hamster was dead.
You can not call people "douche bags". ~~~~~~~~~ Okay, okay is "vinegar sack" less offensive? Polite way of saying the same thing.
You can not "hate" all people. ~~~~~~~~~ You're right, "hate" is a strong word, let's just say I am not overly excited about their existence. And perhaps if they were on fire I might consider roasting marshmallows. Totally different than "hate."
Alcohol does not solve problems. ~~~~~~~~~ Neither does milk.
You are more intelligent than that. ~~~~~~~~~ Yes, I am but in this case intelligence is not a gift, it is a punishment because I still have to put up with every fucktard who doesn't have it.
Who cares what they think? Just be yourself. ~~~~~~~~~ Do you realize "be yourself" is about the worst advice you can give to some people?
You have to work on your people skills. ~~~~~~~~~ My people skills are just fine, it is my tolerance of idiots that needs work.
What has gotten you in this mood today? ~~~~~~~~~ I simply dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned. Is that really so much to ask for?
Perhaps you need to try some Midol. ~~~~~~~~~ No, what I need is a large dose of Fuckitol.
Go to bed! ~~~~~~~~~ Aww you mean it? Before 10pm? You're so sweet. I love you like a back-alley hooker loves crack.