Professor stepped back and stood to my right side, his belt buckle securely wrapped in his left hand and the length of leather dangling at his side. I inhaled sharply as I caught a glimpse in my peripheral vision of his left arm rise before feeling the sting of the leather bite into my skin. The first swat caught me low on my thighs and provoked a squeak of discontent from my pursed lips. "Oww!"
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My squeals and whimpering did nothing to sway his resolve. He was intent on making certain this reminder was taken to heart and I was equally intent on making sure this lesson wouldn't need repeating in the near future. I squeezed the cushion of the couch so tightly that my knuckles were white. Several times throughout the whipping my arm would instinctively rise on its way to cover & protect my poor, quickly blistering bottom but almost immediately I would drop it back to the cushion. After Professor and I's last punishment session, I know better than to put my hands back to protect my bottom; I also knew that I did deserve this whipping....in fact, I had asked for it myself because the ramifications for my carelessness could have seriously cost my a lot professionally and I need to prioritize so this doesn't happen again in medical school.
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The belt rose and fell again over and over. Professor is very methodical in the way he whips me with his belt. He will apply a dozen or so swats quickly before pausing to walk to the other side of me and applying a dozen more. Back and forth.....all the way up my bottom and all the way down my thighs......stripe after searing stripe clearly conveying the displeasure of my Disciplinarian.
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After a particularly harsh several dozen more, very rapidly applied, Professor dropped the belt over the arm of the couch. My breathing was as quick and hard as the last several dozen punishing swats. I sobbed softly into the couch cushions as Professor gently traced his fingertips over the criss-crossing striped welts.
"No more procrastinating until you forget important things like this again, right?" He asked. I shook my head in agreement, unable to speak for fear my voice wouldn't be audible as I continued my quiet sobbing. "Come here." Professor instructed. I slowly rose from my bent over position draped across the back of the couch and stood on my shaky legs as I turned into Professor. His left hand tilted my head back by my chin so he was looking directly down into my swollen green eyes. "I want you to stand in the corner and think about the fight you engaged in this last week. That is our next lesson today and by far the most serious. We've spoken by phone and email about it but when we speak here today you had better hope you can convince me that you do understand why it was wrong and why you wont do it again. When I call you out of that corner, I am going to punish you for it and I punished you earlier this year for a physical fight, didn't I?" He asked as I looked up hesitantly into his dark brown eyes. "Yes Sir." I whispered up to him, another tear slowly making its way down my face. "I never wanted to have to repeat that lesson to you and because you've put me in the position that I must repeat it, this time it is going to be much more severe. You can NOT hit people, Natalie Lynn. What about that was not clear the last time we discussed this, little girl?" He scolded. I hung my head; I felt so ashamed. Professor quickly tucked his hand under my chin and raised my face back to his. "I'm so sorry." I sobbed. His eyes narrowed at me as he studied my face for a minute before speaking again.
"You were angry this week and I get that. You had a right to be angry. That woman hit you first and you wanted to retaliate. You weren't in any danger, security was right there and saw her strike you, you did not have to hit her back. You weren't defending yourself. You were getting even. You chose to lash out and hit her back because it felt good to retaliate, right?" He asked. I nodded my head and answered quietly, "Yes Sir." Professor sighed audibly, "Do you understand why you were wrong?" I knew he was right, I knew I was wrong and I knew that my choice to lash out could have had pretty steep consequences. Luckily for me, security supporting my version of events means that I wont have repercussions at work......BUT, I knew from the second I hit that idiot that there would be no way in hell that I'd escape consequences with Professor. "Yes Sir, I know I was wrong. I'm so sorry." I whimpered, looking up pleadingly into his eyes. I knew I had let him down and all I wanted was to be punished for it so we were 'okay' again and so I could be forgiven.
"Go put your nose in that corner, young lady." He barked as he pointed to the corner. I slowly returned to the corner and placed my hands on my head like I am supposed to. I softly sobbed and prayed that time would crawl; I knew this was going to be a really, really intense punishment. It seemed like mere seconds before his voice echoed behind me again.
"Finish this statement for me; 'No Daughter...." He instructed as my heart sank. I took a deep breath and concentrated on a spot on the corner of the wall as I softly recited the warning. "No daughter of mine hits anyone else unless it is in defense of her or a weaker party and it is a last resort." I paused. "Or what?" He prompted. I fought to continue without my voice shaking too notably. "If you ever make me repeat this lesson to you young lady, we will have a very lengthy loop-strap accompanied discussion about how I feel about my little girl fighting." My voice trailed off just as I finished. "So now here we are, seven months later and you got into another fight. So either my first discussion with you wasn't intense enough or you thought I made an idle threat or perhaps you just didn't give a damn. Which is it, Natalie Lynn?" His tone was harsh, cold, detached and it stung my heart realizing I had made this tone necessary. I knew he hated to have to talk to me like this, to have to punish me this severely, to have to look at me so harshly.......but I also know that if I choose to do the wrong thing when I know what is right, I can very easily force Professor to put on this harsh, unrelenting, resolved hat. It is double-sided, this knowledge. When I have seriously screwed up and am having to face him, I *hate* that I have forced this and am so angry at myself for doing it. But when I am not in trouble, and simply thinking about us, it is almost a comforting feeling to know that he cares enough for me to be the 'bad guy' when I need/deserve it.
"Turn and look at me now. Answer my damn question, don't you dare ignore me little girl!" He barked, his voice elevated. I jumped at the harshness so obvious in his tone. I slowly turned from the corner to face him, my eyes downcast......I did *not* want to see the look that surely would accompany this tone of voice. When I am in trouble, Professor is always serious and firm but his tone today reflected the kind of angry I have made him only once before this, and it truly breaks my heart. "I knew it wasn't an idle threat, you don't threaten me, only make promises Sir. And I promise I did take the first lesson seriously. And I swear, it isn't that I don't give a damn. I just got angry, really angry and I know that doesn't justify my choice. I know I was wrong....really wrong. Sir, please just whip me, I know I deserve it, please. I don't have any answers or excuses. I was bad...I knew better....I was wrong and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Sir."
"Look at me." He instructed. I took a deep breath and slowly raised my eyes to lock with his. "I know you're sorry. You want me to just shut up and punish you.....because that would be easy. Am I right?" He asked. I nodded my head and fought not to look away from him. His jaw was clenched, his lips a hard line, his arms folded across his broad chest.....the picture perfect portrait of an angry father glaring at his errant daughter. I searched his eyes for leniency, for any small sign of softening.....it simply was not there.....I had pushed too far this time and he was truly mad at me.
"I give you my word that this punishment will be anything but easy, young lady. I am going to take my time and make damn sure that you will never forget this lesson. You will not ever want to make me repeat this lesson to you again. Do you have anything else to say before you get into position?" He asked. "I'm so sorry Sir." I mumbled as my eyes welled with fresh tears. "You have not ever let me down like this before. My little girl doesn't fight. My little girl knows better. You CHOSE to ignore what you knew was the right thing to do.....My little girl CHOSE to defy me and disobey my rules." He barked, raising his voice to emphasize certain words. I felt so ashamed of myself and so very small. I hung my head again and he immediately snapped at me, "LOOK AT ME." My body jumped again and I raised my face to meet his as a tear rolled down my cheek. "I am so incredibly disappointed in you, Natalie Lynn." His tone, the look on his face and his choice of wording......it was quite simply, heartbreaking. My tears began to flow freely down my cheeks and I tried one last time to find some small hint of softening....something.....anything at all.....but I still saw nothing but steely & grim resolve. I again dropped my eyes, looking at him was unbearable knowing I had put that look on his face. Professor's left hand encircled my wrist and he firmly yanked me around the couch and thrust me forward once again bending me over the back, with my hands and face to the cushion, feet dangling inches from the floor, sore bottom perfectly presented for further chastisement.
"MY DAUGHTER does NOT fight!" He snapped as he quickly brought down his heavy paddle across my bottom with a loud CRACK! I threw my head back, gasping for air at the sheer force he put behind the swat. This is by far the thickest and heaviest paddle in our collection and even the slightest flick of his wrist applies a stinging swat; no flicking of the wrist today, he was swinging the paddle down with force. Professor has used this paddle to punish me many times, typically in very slow and deliberate swats, spaced evenly apart by several seconds. Being paddled in that manner allows the swat to sink in, me to brace for the next and though it is painful, the time allows for the burning sting to build up over time. Today, Professor paddled me with this large paddle like he does our brushes......hard, fast, unforgiving swats applied one right after the next.....no break at all between swats. He has *never* paddled me like this with his heavy paddle. I have a very high tolerance to pain but being paddled with this heavy paddle so rapidly very, VERY quickly pushed me to my limit and then far beyond as he continued to teach me the lesson.
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"Owww....pleassseee" I cried out. The pain in my bottom was unforgivingly intense. I held the cushions tight and just cried. I laid completely limp over the back of the couch, offering no resistance, no kicking, no struggling to get away. I knew I deserved this spanking and I just hoped my submission would show Professor that I truly was sorry. The paddle fell to the couch, directly in front of my face. As I looked at it, I felt a harsh bite in my thighs......it was our rubber looped strap.....he warned me in March that if I fought again, he would strap me with this awful thing and he was intent on keeping that promise. Professor whipped me so hard with that strap that I squealed a couple times as the rubber wrapped around my thigh and bit into my hip. My sit spots seemed to be his focus with this strap as he whipped me fast and hard.
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After several dozen searing swats, the whipping subsided. I was crying openly by this point, but remaining in perfect position, presenting my bottom for whatever amount of punishment he felt I deserved. I felt so horrible for how much I'd let him down that he could have whipped me all day and it wouldn't have been enough. I saw Professor reach again for the heavy paddle and I cried out to him, "Pleassee not that pleasseee Sirrr. I'm sorryyyy." I felt his hand on the small of my back, gently rubbing in circles as he spoke to me again, his tone not nearly as rigid as it had been but still very firm and all business. "Don't you ever make me have to punish you like this again, young lady." I knew he was going to paddle me again with that heavy paddle now, but his touch and his words almost comforted me and calmed my apprehension. I was determined to accept the duration of my punishment and I knew I deserved it.
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Again the heavy paddle came down with force and one swat immediately after another. My internal panic again rising with the pain in my bottom......there is very little that can physically challenge me in a spanking, but Professor paddling me like this with this particular paddle had me to my limits in less than a dozen quick swats and he certainly didn't stop at a dozen. Typically by this late point in a punishment session, I am lost in subspace and my bottom feels invincible.....not today, the intensity of this paddling had me very much in the present and focused on the pure pain of my punishment. Professor held his right hand firmly to my back to keep me in position as he applied the last several dozen swats directly to my thighs with just as much force and speed as the rest of the paddling had been.
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I was completely limp across the back of the couch, sobbing incoherently my apologies into the cushion. My skin felt so tight with any and every tiny little movement. My bottom was on fire but I had remained in position regardless of the intensity. My heart still ached and as I laid there crying, I felt almost broken. I was wrong and I had been punished.....but it was not over yet, not for me. Professor took my wrist in his hand and slowly escorted me back to the corner. I stood there crying softly and reflecting through what choices I should've and will in the future make differently. I could feel Professor's eyes on me as I stood sobbing in the corner and I knew it probably broke his heart as much as it had mine that he had to be so harsh with me. The punishment truly sucked but knowing he loves me enough to do it, was incredibly touching.
"Come here, in front of me, Natalie Lynn." His voice was firm but no longer harsh. I turned from the corner and walked very slowly over to where he was sitting. Every step I took stretched the skin on my bottom and legs and it pulled so awfully tight that I winced with each movement. I stopped directly in front of Professor and knelt before him, my hands flat against the tops of my thighs, my puffy moist eyes locked on the floor as I softly sobbed at his feet. He reached forward and gently lifted my face and as my eyes met with his, I cried harder. "This is the last time we'll repeat this lesson, isn't it?" He asked softly. Tears cascaded down my cheeks as I nodded my head and whispered up to him, "This is the last time, I promise Sir. I'm so very sorry for disappointing you, Sir. I'm just so sorry." I told Professor from the day I first met him that I would never make him a promise that I couldn't keep, and I was now ready to promise him that I wouldn't again fight with anyone unless it was necessary defense. That was a HUGE step for me. I've been a fighter much of my life but I now understand that it really is wrong and can't be considered an option for my short temper any longer.
Professor studied my face for a moment before his softened and he reached for me, pulling me into his chest and holding me tightly to him as I cried onto his chest and apologized again. He stroked my long, red hair and 'shhhshhd' me as I held tightly to him. I lingered in his embrace for a minute longer before he held me at arms length, wiping the tears from my eyes as he said, "We are fine. Your behavior was disappointing....*not* you. You may test my patience, make me repeat myself, push your boundaries and give me headaches with your naughtiness but you make me so proud of you Natalie Lynn and I'm very glad that you're my daughter. You might be a brat but you're MY brat and I love having you as my little girl." He smiled and I jumped back into his arms for another hug. His words, his tone, his smile and his touch told me that we were indeed perfectly fine. He had forgiven me and I was his good little girl again.....and that is an amazing feeling.
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