Exactly What I Need, When I Need It

12/23/2013

Preparing for my morning stress overload and I had a text message from my Daddy:

"Call me in my office."

We have been having some communication mishaps recently (that I'll write about later on) and we had actually scheduled a phone call for 9 AM this morning; he had called me but I was en route to my meeting and apparently in a dead spot so I hadn't received the call. But I got the quick text and called him back. 

Even though he is frustrated and stressed himself with current events, he wanted to take the time out of his day to call and give me a morning pep talk because he knows I'm teetering on semi-insanity right now. We talked and I listed closely, heeding his warnings for my attitude and behavior. 

It wasn't a long call........maybe 10 minutes or so total. But it was enough........just enough. 

His deep, steady and resounding voice calmed me and pulled at my inner submissive core. It distracted my cluttered mind from the cluster-fuck of chaos it had been drowning in and pulled me to him. For a brief moment, I was with my Daddy and I was happy and at peace. 

After hanging up, I took a deep breath and prepared for my morning, but I did so with a smile. Even just those 10 short minutes had completely reset my mood. I thought about how something as simple as a phone call could have such a profound impact on my mood; but then again, it so typically does when it is my father. 

I love this man with all of my heart. Even though he is frustrated, annoyed and stressed himself....partially because of me......he set that aside to be supportive when I needed it. Even when he is busy or otherwise preoccupied himself, he makes sure to take time from his day to take care of me when I need him. I am always a priority to my Daddy and I know it........and quite honestly, love it. I adore being this man's little girl. 

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I am quite confident that I have the world's best Daddy Dom. I truly am a lucky little girl.........and I know it.........and am going to make more of an effort to let my father know just how much he means to me and reciprocate the dedication and support he has always given to me. 

I never have to tell him what I need......I never have to ask.......he simply knows. My needs vary as often as the weather does. Some days I need my best friend to listen to me vent. Some days I need my demanding & sadistic Dom to put me in my place and overwhelm me with his intoxicating dominance. Some days I need my Daddy to give me advice or support. Some days I need whipped until I have no tears left to cry. Some days I just need pulled into his strong arms and held safely away from the world for a while. 

He is always there for me. 

And he is always everything I need.......exactly when I need it. 

My Daddy's Arms

12/20/2013

Some days I would give absolutely *anything* to be in my father's arms. 

Being a Daddy's girl, I naturally love being there any way.......but there are days when I truly NEED to be. 

The chaos of my life has come to a boiling point, the holidays don't help, nor does a new semester on the horizon. I'm stressed. Teetering between a feelings of defeat and being constantly overwhelmed. At moments I'm in the midst of the circus and then others I feel as if I am just outside myself watching it all transpire and helpless to stop it. I feel run down and emotionally exhausted......but more than that, I feel weak. 

Weakness......that's not an emotion I am accustomed to and I'll fight myself desperately to refuse to admit that the feeling is even possible within me. I *hate* it. I can process most any emotion, albeit perhaps not appropriately, but I can do it. But weak? I simply feel stuck......part of me holding out & insisting it is not there, the other half of myself feeling so smothered by the feeling that I can hardly catch my breath. 

Yuck! 

It's days like this that I more than *want*.....I truly *need* to be in my Daddy's arms. He is my sanity, my security. When nothing else can help ease the turmoil, I know that he can. Regardless of the problem or how overwhelmed & beaten down I may feel at the moment, I know that I can run to my Daddy and he will scoop me up into his strong arms and allow me to hide away from the world for a while. When I have no more strength myself, I can rely on his and quiet my cluttered little mind knowing that he will take care of me.

I told my Daddy the other day that at times I wish I could simply snap my fingers and end up in his arms. He was driving at the moment, and told me to warn him if I planned to snap them because my ending up in his lap as he drove might cause a problem or two. :)  It made me smile. We then hypothesized that though his girl-crazy teenage sons might be amused at randomly appearing redheads, if my snapping teleportal was possible, he would have some serious explaining to do with his colleagues, wife, students, etc. I imagine I might fall into his lap at some inopportune times if this snapping thing was possible. :)  Ahh if only.....

Half Dozen Offenses (Part #2)

08/30/2013

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"Owww Daddyyy I'm sorryyy." I whimpered back at him from over my shoulder. 

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The paddling ceased and Dad laid the brush on the small of my back and gently began to knead my pinkening skin. I savored his touch, closing my eyes and slowing my rapid breathing. He switched from firm massage to barely skimming the skin with his fingertips as I lay draped over his lap. 

"Going to study for the next exam?" He questioned. I smiled, knowing he couldn't see my face, amused at the irony of my father, the professor, spanking me for not studying. 

"Yes Sir." I answered softly. 

"Good girl. Now.....seeing as you spent the last 2 weeks amassing offenses, I plan to spend this entire afternoon blistering your naughty bottom.....minimal breaks. So.....my darling daughter......onto your next lesson." He said.

I sighed and turned my head to look back at him from over my shoulder. Our eyes engaged and I studied his, trying to guess which offense was next by the expression on his handsome face. He glared at me for a moment or two as I nervously chewed the corner of my bottom lip. 

"Next......our first repeat offense of the day. This one is an aspect of your most serious offense to be dealt with today, but warrants its own punishment. You were caught texting and driving earlier this week....that is your most serious offense; however, it is when you were caught that you committed the offense you're about to be paddled for now. Tell me, young lady, what it is I am referring to." Dad demanded. 

"I was mouthy to the cop who stopped me Daddy." I confessed in a hushed tone as I hung my head to escape his penetrating stare. 

"Bingo. You know it's wrong, You know why it's wrong. You know MY daughter is not allowed to be disrespectful to authority, particularly when that authority is correcting her ignorance. I am sick of repeating this lesson to you, Natalie Lynn. Do you hear me?" He barked harshly as he yanked my hair abruptly, again turning my face back to meet his gaze. 

My breath hitched in the back of my throat. I nodded my head yes, unable to speak. My eyes stayed fixed onto his, and began to well with tears. I truly hate seeing this look on my Daddy's face. It's a mixture of irritation, concern and disappointment......I absolutely h-a-t-e it! Dad glared a minute more before releasing my hair from his firm grip and taking the bath brush back into his large left hand. I again hung my head and grasped his ankle tightly, preparing for another hard paddling. 

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A flurry of swats connected at an incredibly fast pace. Every inch of my bared bottom and thighs seemed to ignite. I struggled to stay still......I knew I deserved this spanking......but my determination flew right out the window and in a minute or two I was squirming and howling over my father's knee. He completely disregarded my efforts and continued to punish my tender skin.

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He aimed directly at my sit spots and let them have it. The harsh, unrelenting swats fell in a blur as I struggled and sobbed hanging over his lap. Hot, salty tears fell from my emerald eyes and onto the carpet beneath my face. I squeezed his ankle tightly and just cried as he paddled me furiously,

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"Up!" He barked harshly.

I slid off of his lap and flipped the long, red hair back out of my face as it stuck to the tear soaked flesh of my cheeks. I very cautiously glanced up at my father, sensing the irritation still clearly evident in his tone of voice. His eyes met mine and he narrowed his as his jaw clenched. I quickly lowered my eyes in a silent offering of my submission to him, truly sorry for what I had done.....even sorrier for letting him down. 

"Put your nose in that corner, little girl." He instructed.

I slowly began to slink over to the corner, trying not to trip over the jeans entangled at my knees and brushing the tears from my eyes.

"NOW!" Dad shouted, clearly not pleased with the pace at which I was following his command. 

My entire body jumped, as it does any time my father raises his voice at me. I quickly scurried to the corner and stood as closely to it as I could, wishing it would swallow me up. I stood there on my wobbly knees, running through the remaining offenses in my head and dreading the coming consequences that I'd earned myself. 

"While you're standing there mulling over your behavior, little girl......imagine how this new lexan paddle that Brandon bought for us is going to feel on your bare bottom......I am using it for your next offense." Dad warned in an almost mocking tone. 

My tears returned and were again slowly cascading down my cheeks and I nervously began fidgeting with the hem of my shirt. Lexan hurts!!! A LOT!!! That paddle was supposed to be used for a fun, playful spanking.....at least for the first time.....it was NOT supposed to be introduced during a punishment! I pouted unashamedly and continued my nervous fidgeting. 

As I stood there, my mind racing, I could feel my father's gorgeous brown eyes on my body.......I knew he was enjoying watching me squirm and panic. While I love his eyes on me, I was almost annoyed with it at the moment as I knew he was enjoying my unease......and despite my not wanting to give him the satisfaction, I simply could not stop fidgeting & nervously shifting from foot to foot as I thought of that damn lexan paddle. 

"Come here, young lady!" Daddy ordered. 

As badly as I wanted to stay put, I was soon walking over toward my father.......as if I were being carried, clearly not under my own power......my damn legs were traitors and willingly delivering me to this cruel fate!!

*******************TO BE CONTINUED****************

Half Dozen Offenses (Part #1)

08/30/2013

Daddy's knock on the door startled me as it seemed to echo off the walls of the room. I quickly shuffled to the door and opened it just a crack, as I often do, and peered up and into the captivating eyes of my Daddy Dom. I smiled as I took a step back, opening the door fully to welcome him inside. He returned my warm smile, absolutely melting me. He has an amazing smile. His dark, expressive, chocolate-brown eyes seem to almost twinkle; his lips curve up into a smile, accentuating his dominant jaw line. My Daddy is incredibly attractive; I am a lucky little girl.

He closed the door behind him and reached out for me, his eyes not leaving mine from the moment they'd connected when I first cracked the door open. His large, powerful hands took me by my upper arms and pulled me to him, enveloping me in his strong arms. I wrapped my own arms securely around his waist and hugged him tightly. I could quite happily stay in his arms the entire day; he gives about the best hugs ever.

Dad took me by the shoulders and held me at arms length and stared down into my bright green eyes for several long moments before finally speaking to me. My stomach was in knots.

"Natalie Lynn, when was the last time I punished you? How long ago?" He asked firmly.

"August 2nd, Daddy. 28 days ago." I answered up to him as I searched his eyes.

"In just 28 days.......only 4 weeks.......28 days MY DAUGHTER has added 6 NEW OFFENSES to her punishment list??" He barked.

I shifted slightly from foot to foot, my fingers nervously fidgeting with the hem of my shirt and my eyes danced around the room........from the floor, to the wall, to the dresser top, the bed, our shoes.......absolutely *anywhere* aside from my father's penetrating glare.

"LYNN!" He practically shouted, making me visibly jump. I knew immediately what he wanted......the exact thing I was trying to avoid......direct eye contact. My father's eyes are absolutely gorgeous, but when he is displeased with me.....when we are in scene.....when he is punishing me......they darken and become incredibly cold compared to their typical inviting warmth. Daddy always insists on eye contact when he is scolding me. Often times, he will remain completely quiet and allow his eyes to chastise me for my behavior for several minutes before adding the verbal accompaniment. Even "the look" from my Dom can bring me to tears.......long before he ever touches me.

I slowly raised my eyes up the length of his body, admiring my Daddy's towering frame, his broad shoulders, his muscular chest and arms, his thighs that I knew I'd soon be draped over, the "whipping belt" around his waist, his dominant jaw........all the way up to finally find their mark and once again engage his eyes directly.

"I asked you a question, little girl........do I need to repeat myself to you already?" He asked in a very low tone of voice, making my stomach drop. I shook my head no as I struggled to find my voice.

"No Sir, don't repeat yourself, I'm sorry. To answer your question, yes Sir, I have 6 new offenses in only 28 days." I meekly responded, my eyes studying his intently, seeking some hint of softening......it wasn't there.

Daddy glared at me another minute or so before abruptly reaching forward and yanking me into him by the waist of my jeans. He hastily unbuttoned my jeans as I stood frozen in a mixture of disbelief and embarrassment. Typically my father will instruct me to lower my pants (or raise my skirt, depending on my attire); he has rarely done it himself. Lowering my jeans is always embarrassing, but having your Dom do it *for you*........it's an entirely new level of shame. I felt so incredibly small and very, very naughty.

As soon as he had unbuttoned and unzipped them, his strong hands took hold of the waist and in one quick, fluid motion he yanked them down over my hips and the curve of my bottom, leaving them sitting at my knees. My breath hitched in the back of my throat as I stood there on my shaking knees in the center of the room, jeans at my knees, blushing furiously, fidgeting with my fingers.......soon to be spanked.......HARD!

Dad gave me one more piercing stare before leaving me standing alone in the center of the room as he walked over to the desk and snatched up my punishment list, quickly scanning the new offenses before discarding the sheet of paper back onto the desktop. I hung my head but my eyes intently followed his legs as he walked throughout the room, preparing to punish his naughty little girl.

He walked toward the dresser and unzipped his implement bag, retrieving an unknown implement. Then just as quickly, he approached me at a full stride and roughly encircled my upper arm in his large right hand, then immediately began dragging me along behind him as he crossed the room to the couch. Dad released my upper arm as he sat down on the couch. I stood nervously in front of him, my eyes locked on the floor. He quickly took hold of my wrist and pulled me down over his capable lap. I shifted and squirmed to get comfortable.......I knew I'd be here for a while. Daddy spaced his legs far enough apart that my own feet dangled off of the floor, rendering me helplessly upended over his knee. I placed my left hand around my father's ankle and held tightly to him, preparing for my spanking to begin........I adore the intimacy and closeness of the traditional OTK position........and holding onto my Daddy's ankle or calve while I am being punished is incredibly comforting to me.

I felt Daddy's fingertips on his left hand slide between the silk of my panties and my bare skin, then just as with my jeans before them, in one fluid motion he yanked them down to my knees, where they joined my jeans in a bunched up ball. I concentrated on trying to slow my breathing; my spanking hadn't even begun and already I was breathing as rapidly as I knew he would soon be swatting.

"So, darling daughter of mine, you had a re-certification exam to take at work this month, correct?" He asked as his strong hand slowly caressed my bared bottom.

"Yes Sir." I whimpered back to him over my shoulder. Every nerve ending in my body seemed to be overly sensitive. His gentle touch made me smile as I raised my hips to meet his caresses.

"Tell me, Natalie Lynn, when did you find out the date of this test and what material you'd be tested on?" Dad inquired.

"In May, Daddy." I answered, immediately biting my lip afterward knowing what my father's expectations of me academically and professionally include. I'd fallen really short of it this time and I knew I'd be punished good for this one. The thought left me nervously chewing the corner of my bottom lip as Dad continued to interrogate me.

"I see. And when did MY daughter begin studying or reviewing material?" He asked as he lightly skimmed my sensitive bottom with just his fingertips......sending chills up and down my spine.

"A day before the exam, Sir." I practically whispered and held my breath, anticipating a harsh swat.

"What is the standard I have set for all of your academics and professional exams, young lady?" Dad quizzed.

"That I do my best, Sir." I quickly replied.

"Correct. I don't expect perfection. In fact that is your own expectation and I have told you that is not reasonable. I set high standards for you because I know you can reach them. You're MY daughter. You're intelligent and you are and will continue to be successful in your chosen career if you continue to apply that intelligence, intuition AND discipline. Am I right?"  He asked.

"Yes Sir." I responded immediately and respectfully; hoping my Daddy could hear the genuine contrition in my voice.

"I expect YOUR BEST! You had plenty of time to study and prepare in advance to achieve YOUR BEST. But my cocky, over-confident and undisciplined little girl decided she knew everything and didn't need to review material until the day of her exam.........and what happened because of that, Natalie Lynn?" Dad demanded harshly, stopping his soothing caresses and simply resting his large, powerful hand on my unprotected, quivering bottom.

"I only got a 97%, Sir. I didn't refresh or review pharmacokinetics and because of that I couldn't recall the molecular weight of a commonly used medication for our department, Sir." I answered honestly, feeling a bit foolish for being so arrogant......and still angry at myself for blowing a perfect score by being overly confident.

"Exactly. That's unacceptable, young lady, and you know it. Had it been your best, I would have been thrilled with a 97%, but it wasn't your best and I knew that. You, in fact, confessed and asked to be punished for not getting a perfect grade. HOWEVER.....I denied your initial request.......I won't punish you for imperfection, because perfect is not where I set the bar for you......I expect YOUR BEST. I don't imagine many girls get their bottoms soundly spanked by their daddies for a 97%.......BUT YOU are *not* 'many girls'.......YOU ARE MY GIRL, MY DAUGHTER......and you will *always* get a good spanking when you refuse to do YOUR BEST! Got it, little girl?"  Daddy lectured, raising his voice at several points to emphasize his intended message.

"Yes Sir." I whimpered back at him as I turned to look up at him from over my shoulder. Our eyes again engaged one another's and he held my gaze for a couple moments, his frustration evident on his face......my remorse evident on mine.

SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP!

A half dozen quick, harsh swats connected with my bare bottom and sit spots. I inhaled sharply and held tightly to his ankle. But literally as quickly as the hand spanking had begun, it ended. I felt Daddy lightly tapping a solid implement against my tender upper thighs. I again turned to look back over my shoulder as Daddy raised the implement up to meet my inquisitive little view. It was the Vermont Country Store Bath Brush!!! A wicked, evil thing. Solid maple wood, polished smooth on "the business side", with a ergonomic curved handle, and stiff bristles on the flip side. I *HATE* this implement. It is by far the worst of our brushes; this viscous brush packs FAR more of a punch than either of my wooden hairbrushes or even our oak bath brush.

I pouted up at my Daddy, searching his eyes for leniency, pleadingly begging with my own eyes for a longer hand spanking to warm my skin before this horrid brush was introduced. I was met with a determined, paternal glare that quite literally filled my emerald eyes with un-shed tears.

"You deserve this, Natalie Lynn. My expectations for MY DAUGHTER are clear. You failed to meet them, young lady. And now you're going to pay the price for that. Ask me to punish you." He insisted.

I sniffled and squirmed over my father's knee, still clinging tightly to his ankle. My bottom tingled in anticipation. I knew this spanking was going to hurt......A LOT. But, I also knew I had asked for it and I certainly did deserve it. I took a deep breath and obeyed my Daddy's order.

"Daddy please punish me, I didn't do my best and I let us both down. I deserve a good, hard spanking......please punish me, Sir?" I confidently asked.

My father smiled briefly at me, making me smile myself despite my pending fate. He took the bath brush in his left hand and tapped it against my thighs a couple times before raising it high up into the air at his shoulder level. I quickly turned away and tried to make myself as comfortable as possible as I dangle helplessly above the ground from my father's capable lap, my long red hair blanketing the floor beneath me, my heart racing, my hand securely wrapped around Dad's ankle............waiting...........

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**TO BE CONTINUED**

Be Careful What You Wish For

12/08/2013

Just a week ago I was complaining about not being able to see my Daddy for such a long stretch of time. I needed to see him, to be held by him, tightly enveloped in his strong arms, lay over his knee for a good spanking.........just *be* with him. 

I got my wish.  :)

Friday I finally got to spend the day with my Daddy. We had a lot of catching up to do after so long apart. And I had new entries on my punishment list that needed addressed. 

Now I typically have an extremely high tolerance to physical pain but Friday was different. Maybe it had been too long since my last spanking? Maybe the emotional turbulence during our separation made it more intense? I have no idea, I can't explain it.......I just know that I reacted completely differently to the punishment. 

I didn't experience my typical early session sub-drop, which makes it incredibly easy for me to endure any amount of physical pain knowing I am pleasing my Dom.......didn't happen. Often when wooden implements are used during punishment, my bottom will actually become numb........this also did NOT happen. And my dip into subspace.......that usually happens midway through a session.......did not occur until close to the end of my punishment. 

Strange, right?

I had one particular offense on my list that was serious and I had committed it multiple times in the last couple months.........so I had earned myself a pretty hard spanking. I struggled to remain in position and keep my hands from trying to protect my bottom throughout the entire session. 

Daddy decided to paddle me for the most serious offense.......and later added the cord and our heavy leather strap as well.......then back to the paddle. It certainly wasn't the longest or the hardest paddling and whipping I've ever received, but it *FELT* so much worse. It hurt.....a lot. 

My Daddy continuously utilized his amazing mind fuck.......stopping the paddling for several minutes, allowing me to compose myself and think it was over.......only to begin again. Sadist! 

I marked nicely as well........I think the time between this punishment and my last made my skin more likely to mark. I had several welts from his belt and the cord; and some moderate bruising from that damn paddle. Even a couple days later, his marks are still visible......and I sort of love that. 

The soreness, tenderness and warmth has also lingered. I was incredibly sore that night and even the next morning........doing everything I could to avoid sitting down.........and wincing slightly when I did. Now, two full days out, I'm still tender and my bottom is still slightly marked & radiating heat..........but it has morphed from uncomfortable to absolutely wonderful.  :)  

I still have lessons to take in, details to focus on, the entire session to analyze (and of course eventually write out for all of you).........but right now, in this little moment in time........I am an incredibly happy, albeit sore, Daddy's girl!   :)

Firsts

• DATE OF 1ST MEETING: Friday March 2,2012

• 1ST MEETING LOCATION: Framingham, MA

• SHE WORE: **He refused to let me change into the outfit I brought & insisted I be punished in the attire I showed up from traffic court in**   American Eagle blue jeans, pink tshirt that read "50% Irish, 100% Naughty", blue boy-cut silk panties.

• HE WORE: Khaki slacks (with perfect pleats), bright white Oxford button-down long-sleeve (which he rolled to his elbows), brown loafers.

• 1ST OFFENSE SPANKED FOR: Multiple driving offenses: speeding, texting while driving, sass in traffic court, drinking and driving.

• 1ST RULE GIVEN: Be open and honest at all times, about all things.

• 1ST IMPLEMENT SPANKED WITH: I was first spanked with his large, powerful hands. After that, a hairbrush.

• 1ST IMPRESSION OF HIM: He was quite honestly, perfect. Strict, demanding, authoritative. Reasonable, caring and genuine. Incredibly attractive, tall, strong, athletic. Perfect.

• 1ST TIME HE MADE YOU CRY: I cried like a baby after our very first session.....a mixture of relief of guilt & stress, happiness that I'd found this amazing Dom, and endorphin release from the pain of the actual spanking. 

• 1ST TIME HE SAW YOU CRY: Our 2nd session. I made several careless mistakes during the punishment that escalated the severity and made me feel pretty bad. 

• 1ST "GOOD GIRL" SPANKING: Saturday April 14,2012 a caning in his office on campus :) 

• 1ST NON-SPANKING DATE: October 2012 we met for lunch and to catch-up after a particularly long several weeks apart.

• 1ST GIFT YOU GAVE HIM: A New England Patriots Wes Welker jersey for his birthday. (I'd given him several implements to add to our collection prior to this, but this was the first non-spanking gift).

• 1ST GIFT HE GAVE YOU: A beautiful wooden frame with the Serenity Prayer in it and a matching solid wood hairbrush.

• 1ST TIME YOU BOTH USED THE "L" WORD: January 2013. We are both *very* careful with the use of this word. I'd felt it long before I said it, but it finally made its way into our daily dialogue in Jan. 2013.

• 1ST TIME HE USED YOUR FAVORITE IMPLEMENT: My favorite is his hand.....my favorite implement is his belt.......he used both during my first punishment spanking, 03/02/12.

• 1ST TIME HE USED YOUR LEAST FAVORITE IMPLEMENT: November 2012.....that damn electrical extension cord. OWWW!

• 1ST TIME YOU KNELT BEFORE HIM: Out of respect: our first session. Out of true submission: May 11,2012 at our 6th session.

• 1ST TIME HE HELD YOU AFTER PUNISHMENT: He has always hugged me after a punishment. But truly held me, November 2012.

• 1ST TIME HE COLLARED YOU: August 2, 2013. That was the first time I'd ever accepted a collar AND the first time he had ever placed one on a sub. Very special day. :)

• 1ST TIME YOU REALIZED HE WAS YOUR MATCH: I was relatively certain after our very first session (actually prior to that simply by our correspondence). But he solidified it in my mind & my heart on our 3rd session, March 30, 2012. I had lost my wedding ring during our session and he pulled off the interstate and was going to come back to be with me because he knew how upset I was. I knew for certain on that day that I had found a phenomenal partner. 

• 1ST TIME YOU DISAPPOINTED HIM: June 2012 when I got into a physical confrontation at work. He uses this word sparingly because of the impact it has; and I can clearly recall each and every time I have made him use it with me and I hate it.

• 1ST TIME YOU MADE HIM ANGRY: October 2012 when I went behind his back and did something he had forbidden, placing myself in danger and hiding it from him. My Daddy is a very mild-tempered man and rarely gets truly angry.....endangering his little girl is a fast track to a *very* angry Daddy.  :(

• 1ST TIME YOU WERE SORRY BEFORE HE PUNISHED YOU: Just 2 days after our first session, I got a speeding ticket........while still sitting on a sore bottom from a driving-related spanking. I felt horrible......I was crying when I called him to confess. 

• 1ST TIME HE MADE YOUR HEAD SPIN/SWOON: Truly......the first time his deep, resounding voice called me "young lady" via phone. Yum!

• 1ST TIME HE LET YOU OFF WITHOUT A SPANKING: I'll update when this actually happens. LOL! I have been his little girl for nearly 2 years now and NEVER has he let me off without a spanking when one was deserved. 

• SUBJECT OF 1ST SCOLDING: LOL! He called me to discuss my speeding tickets and I had tech issues with my cell phone and began swearing at it profusely, not knowing he could hear me.......so my first scolding was changed from speeding to swearing. :)

• 1ST TIME HE GAVE YOU BUTTERFLIES: I have butterflies in my stomach every single time I have to stand before him and answer for my behavior. The very first time......our first session when he pinned me to the corner with his towering frame and whispered in my ear, "I am going to make you a *very* sorry little girl, Natalie Lynn."  

• 1ST TIME YOU FELT SAFE WITH HIM: Literally the very first time I was with him in person, our 1st session on 03/02/2012. He is an amazing man and takes great care of me. I've known in my heart from day #1 that he would never hurt me and he would never allow anyone or anything else to hurt me when I am in his presence. Very protective Daddy. And vice versa. :) 

• 1ST TIME YOU REALIZED HE LOVED YOU: April 2012 when he took time from a busy day of meetings, classes & grant proposal writing to call and be with me via phone when I had to put my oldest wiener dog down. He truly didn't have the time to even eat lunch that day, but he made sure to make me priority #1 because he knew how distraught I was over losing one of my beloved dogs. I knew then that my Daddy really did love me.....I was more than a play partner.....I truly was his little girl and he absolutely *did* love me. 

**There are my answers to this list of 'firsts' that is making its' way through our spanko Blogger world. Enjoy**

He's Old....ER :)

December 2, 2013

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SIR!

Once upon a time......a long time ago today.......

My amazing Daddy Dom was born. 

Yes, yes, I'm sure he was an adorable baby. 

I'd say that he is old......but he might beat my ass.....

So I'll say he is old....ER.  :)

OldER today than he was yesterday......

OldER than I am.......

OldER than 7 dog years,but not quite 8......

OldER than a half-century (that DOES sound old).......

Yep.....definitely OldER.....

But still young enough to whip my naughty ass.  :)

Happy Birthday, Daddy!

I love you more than you'll ever know!

XOXOXO

Your Little Girl  ;)

What Truly Matters

I was feeling absolutely horrible. I've been sick.....really sick.....for a while now. And I got sick right on the heels of a seemingly never-ending marathon of medical issues, procedures and surgeries. So just as I was starting to feel better and closer to "normal", I got sick and was right back to feeling like shit. 

Working in medicine, it is never easy for me to be a patient. To be blunt, I hate it. So just being the patient, rather than the practitioner, stresses me out......a lot. Then add the helpless feeling of not getting better as quickly as I felt I should. I was a mess. 

Finally tired of being poked & prodded and used as a guinea pig for procedure after procedure, I just got overwhelmed and felt defeated and hopeless. I'd shut down and stopped talking to people, intentionally isolating myself because I was close to my breaking point. 

My instant messenger sprung to life......DING......I had a new message. The one man in the world I never ignore.......my Daddy. I talked with him for a few minutes and instead of my typical, "I'm fine", I told him the truth.......I was ready to give up. 

"I'm calling in 15 minutes, answer my call."

It was after 10pm, pretty late for my Dad, but he did in fact call me. 

I vented a little and he listened intently. Until I repeated what I had said via instant message just a half hour earlier, 

"I don't care any more Daddy. I just want to quit." 

He stopped me after that statement and it was then his turn to talk and my turn to listen. 

"You don't have the option of quitting......you are MINE."

"Your son NEEDS you. I NEED you. Your family NEED you."

"I know this is hard and it sucks and you feel weak right now, but giving up is not an option. You're at the end of the marathon and you're going to finish it. Clear?"

"This is hard but it's not impossible. You have amazing strength inside of you, you're MINE. We've made it through a lot worse in the last 2 years, we will make it through this too. Eye on the prize, baby."

"I know you're sick, you're tired, you're stressed, you're weak, you're overwhelmed. And you're right, you can't do it alone but WE can get through this and we WILL get through this TOGETHER." 

I listened and began to feel a little better almost immediately......his deep,steady voice has that effect on me quite often. But I also knew he was right. I am not and have not been doing this alone; I have my family and the people who matter most in the world to me right here alongside me. I may have lost sight of that when I was at my lowest and just feeling alone, exhausted and utterly defeated. I'm not alone; I have what matters most and everything else will eventually fall into place too. "Normal" *IS* coming. We just have to fight through this last medical hurdle. And it's okay for me to feel weak right now......I always have my Daddy's strength to fall back on. He takes amazing care of me and he will pull me through this. Everything WILL be okay.......simply because *MY* Daddy said so.  :) 

Favorite Rules

Some of my favorites from a D/s series of "House Rules" I found online. 

Definitely a favorite :)  Absolutely love hearing that phrase from my Daddy Dom, "I'm proud of you."  Always puts a smile on my face.

Self-explanatory......and I do *honestly* TRY.......I just might fall flat on my face sometimes. Lol

So true. That little phrase has rarely ever gotten me into trouble. 

Thankfully, my Daddy rarely makes me count swats during punishment.....but he will occasionally if he decides to give me a certain number of strokes with a particularly formidable implement. 

Simply good manners......and ya catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

Amen! Aside from OTK......kneeling in front of my Daddy is my favorite position in scene. 

Always and forever. The ownership aspects of D/s are a HUGE turn-on for me. I absolutely adore belonging to my amazing Daddy Dom and my little heart flutters every time he calls me "MINE."

Yum! My pain is His pleasure.....and in turn, my own as well. 

One day I'd beg to be spanked, the next I'll beg to avoid it. Lol. Not that begging has ever worked well for me in this relationship, but trying is still amusing at times. :)

I imagine that is why his adoration, his label of ownership & his collar mean so very much to me now.......not one of them was 'given' to me.......I earned each of them & will cherish them forever. 

Though I struggle with this one still at times, it truly *is* always my intended goal. 

It absolutely is......now and forever, Sir.

The intensity of our D/s dynamic wouldn't work with anything less.

Why is it other girls' Doms allow, or even demand this? My Daddy is not sweet enough to allow me to escape direct eye contact when I'm in trouble. Damn the luck! :) 

Oh how very true this is! And by the way, no amount of whining, crying, begging, pleading, promising good behavior, apologizing, debating or negotiating will have intended results. 

2 years ago, I had no concept of "patience." My Daddy has spent the last 2 years insisting I learn to be a patient girl. So though I wasn't innately blessed with this virtue, I am capable of learning it. 

Absolutely L-O-V-E this one. Sweet, simple, ideal. The very notion is almost fundamental to submission. I'm far from achieving it......but it is a nice goal. 

A caveat to our very own "Rule #1" : Open & honest at all times, about all things. It is actually kind of nice to have someone you don't have to 'edit' with, someone who knows the 'real' me and loves me any way. My poor Dom.....I may have taken this too literally and tend to "overshare" all sorts of things I am sure he wishes he *never* had to hear. Lol. :)  

I still kind of suck at adhering to this rule completely. When it is something simple, I am typically good about obeying immediately and without question. But when it is a more complex or emotionally-charged issue, I tend to try to debate, argue, negotiate, etc. My Daddy will always listen to my point of view or concerns, as long as I offer them respectfully, but at times if I can't convince him to change his mind & agree with me I will dig in my heels and argue or question him even after his mind is made up or he has issued a mandate. Like many of these other rules.....I am not perfect at obeying this one yet......but it is a nice goal to have. 

Needy Lil Sub Girl

11/27/2013

Needy........such a perfect word to describe how I am feeling right now. It is more than accurate; a precise, exact diagnosis. 

I am incredibly needy at the moment. I miss my Daddy so much that it hurts. I have not been in the physical presence of my amazing Dom in almost 3 months now. Sure we have still spoken nearly every day via phone, email or instant message as we always do in between our times together.......but it simply is not the same. I've had to wait longer than this only once before in our 2 years together.........and it sucked, much like this, but somehow this time seems far more difficult at the moment. 

As with the only other lengthy delay, this is not something we can control, which for some may make it easier to accept.........but for me it simply makes the ache of longing seem unbearable because I *need* control. 

My Daddy has been amazingly supportive throughout the medical ordeals I've faced since we last were with one another. He understands how difficult this has become for me and he has made sure to be available to me on an almost constant basis.......even losing sleep multiple times in order to keep his Yahoo instant messenger on 24/7 so I can reach him at even 3 in the morning. Today he even created a "Daddy App" for me to install on my phone with several key phrases I love to hear from him.  :)  It definitely put a smile on my face and drastically improved my mood. He is kind of amazing like that; I'd venture to say he is "sweet" but that might just get my ass whipped.  :)  

Perhaps the worst part of this entire thing is unlike the other delay, we are not separated geographically right now. I *AM* close to him.......close enough to simply drive to him......but we have yet been able to make that work due to schedules, conflicting appointments and a steady stream of medical chaos. Ughhhh.

I just want to scream!!!!! 

The more I think about it, the more needy I feel. I miss him so much that it truly hurts and it is a deep, nagging sort of hurt. I'm so very close to him but still unable to be with him and it is driving me slowly insane. I often think of our times together when I'm having a particularly challenging or stressful day because it quiets and resets my overwhelmed little mind; but the more I recall our amazing time together, the more desperate I feel right now. I've cried so much these last few weeks especially. The holidays are right around the corner, as is his birthday, and I want nothing more than to be with him. I definitely need a Daddy-daughter day. 

I miss my Daddy. I need him, I want him, I long to be in his presence. As each day ticks by, that aching & burning need only intensifies. I depend on my Dom for far more than a hot scene. He is my anchor in the chaotic sea of life. He calms and balances me like nothing else ever has or possibly could. When my world goes haywire and I feel I might lose my sanity, I know I can run to him and hide away from it all in his strong arms and he will shield me from the world for a while. His touch & embrace absolutely melt me, his deep & steady voice lulls me, his dark expressive brown eyes quiet my over-analytical mind and send every nerve ending in my body into a heightened sense of over-drive. 

He is my serenity. He is my Dom. He is my favorite way to spend a day.....simply basking in his overwhelming dominance. He is my behavioral compass. He is the shoulder I cry on. He is the strong arms that hold me. He is my best friend. He is my playmate. He is the silky smooth voice that invades my naughty dreams. He is my Daddy. 

I need to be with him......soon......very, very soon. I need an escape from my chaotic & crazy reality. I need to submit to him. I need his touch. I need that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach as his penetrating stare stops me dead in my naughty tracks. I need his voice in my ear. I need him methodically whipping my bare bottom. I need his dominance to overwhelm me. I need to surrender all control and power to him, allowing myself to simply relish in the sensations of being his girl, his property, his daughter, his playmate, his submissive. 

Needy............hit the nail right on the head!

Respecting Authority

11/27/2013

I am in a bratty mood today and decided to post about one of the most popular topics of my punishment sessions. 

This is an offense I am quite often guilty of. 

As a matter of fact, I believe historically, this particular offense would be in my Top 3 most recurrent offenses. 

It is a lesson my darling Daddy Dom has repeated to me *multiple* times over the last 2 years.

Though every time we revisit the "discussion" there really isn't a whole lot of discussing........

No give & take conversation, 

No ebb & flow, 

No back & forth.

Nope.........it is most commonly a very one-sided conversation between his trusty leather belt and my bare ass. 

To be perfectly honest with all of you, this is an offense I have committed and repeated over & over throughout my life..............and I know I am certainly NOT the only spanko sub girl who has struggled with this particular offense either.

DISRESPECT FOR AUTHORITY

• Sassing a cop who dares pull me over for speeding...........GUILTY
• Blowing up on my boss/supervisor............GUILTY
• Shooting off with a smart-ass remark to a professor..............GUILTY
• Back-talking my Daddy..............GUILTY

All of these bratty, snotty, curt little remarks, gestures or rants fall under the category of disrespecting authority.............and I cross that line all the freaking time! I've done this my entire life. It is almost a knee-jerk reaction for me........if I sense authority, I *MUST* test it, poke it, challenge it, rebel against it. 

Of course if you've read my blog long, you know that *ANY* time my Daddy Dom has to repeat himself to me or revisit a prior lesson he increases the severity of the punishment spanking because he assumes that the first time he "taught" the lesson was not sufficient if I have anything higher than a 0% recidivism rate. 

Oy vey........my poor, innocent, delicate bottom. 

I've tried to convince my Daddy that I don't always intend to be disrespectful.........I am simply an opinionated girl and used to "sharing" my unedited thoughts. Unfortunately for my ass, my father doesn't think telling a judge: "your honor this court is a fucking circus" , is appropriate "sharing". 

And thus my angelic little ass has been spanked, paddled & whipped more times than I care to count for this naughtiness. 

Daddy tends to believe our society would be pure chaos without some sort of authority structure. He agrees with me that respect is earned, not given to individuals........but then insists that while I may not respect the *person* necessarily, HIS daughter *MUST* show respect for the position of authority that person holds. He has lectured me numerous times about "think it, don't say it".........it is just so damn tempting at times and I have no muzzle, so keeping my mouth shut is somewhat of a umm......errr.......challenge.  :)   

My Daddy is repeating this lesson far less often to me now than he had 2 years ago when I first became his little girl.........but it is still a problem that will pop up from time to time. I think I may actually even truly agree with my Dad on the principle now.........so it is simply a matter of controlling my smart, sassy mouth now.........which is much easier said than done. 

Ahhh but don't count me out and give up all hope now, my friends........because as my naughty bottom can attest, my Daddy's well-worn, thick, brown, leather belt can soundly strap all of the sass out of even the most stubborn of Irish Imps.  :)