Monday, September 2, 2013
Template of My Perfect Dom
***A conversation between a Dom/Top friend of mine and myself via instant messaging on a popular Spanko site back in Nov. 2010***
SirD: I was pleasantly surprised to see you in attendance at the Halloween party last weekend.
Imp: Why the surprise?
SirD: June wasn't all that long ago, sweet heart. We had all missed you in August, but those close obviously understood your absence. When it was pointed out last week that you were there, I was just surprised. I apologize that we didn't have much time to converse then; to be honest I watched you & Kelly talking for more than a half hour before I could ever approach you, I simply couldn't find the words. Again, I wish we had more time to talk then, but now works as well. Tell me Natalie, how are you doing?
Imp: I'm okay honey. Some days are harder than others but I'm really okay. The most difficult part is trying to explain things to my son; the finality of 'forever' is quite difficult to translate into toddler terms. :) I think I was with Kelly the majority of the evening; but many of our 'regulars' came up to check on me. As with my extended military family, it is amazing how close some of our friendships are in our spanko community...you've all been a tremendous support system. Honestly after about the 12th person expressed surprise at my attending the event, I joked with Kelly that I should have addressed the entire room and quipped "It is possible for any one of us to wake up one morning and no longer have a spouse, it is however NOT possible for any one of us to wake up one morning suddenly not a spanko." :)
SirD: That is definitely true; the not being able to wake up non-spanko. Perhaps we are born this way.
Imp: We definitely are born spanko....I'll elaborate on that thought for you via email. Being an academic, you'll appreciate the tireless research going into this theory. Lol. :)
SirD: I noticed the changes to your profile on this site. Tell me Natalie, what does "Only the perfect Dom need reply" mean?
Imp: Short, sweet & to the point.....exactly what it says; I hate having my time wasted & I don't care to waste anyone else's.....so only the perfect Dom will do. :)
SirD: Perhaps you should include the definition of "perfect", my dear. Or have you defined the term yet?
Imp: Of course I have defined it, I am a detail oriented girl. I hadn't included said definition because I am almost certain the man I seek does not exist. My 'Template Dom' exists solely in my overactive spanko mind. :)
SirD: Be optimistic and be patient.....I am almost certain the man you seek does in fact exist. Tell me of this 'Template Dom.'
Imp: For starters, I don't want another DD relationship.....one I'm far from ready for romance right now but more than that even, I want & need a more D/s dynamic. I've played with my share of Tops but only had 3 serious relationships.....my 1st (in college) was a strictly D/s relationship and I absolutely loved that dynamic. My other 2 (Mace & Jason) were more DD relationships, combining discipline with romance. I suppose both dynamics have their own appeals but I personally prefer the intensity of the D/s dynamic......more formal, less casual, clearly an unequal relationship from day 1, strictly discipline no romance involved.......not to take away from my romantic discipline relationships but quite honestly, having sex involved gave me power & I knew it and exploited it whenever possible.
SirD: So you seek a disciplinarian.....not a lover?
Imp: Precisely......but he still must be perfect. :) I've never really considered the "Daddy Dom" types, but I definitely do prefer a significant age difference. I don't want an equal; I want authority. I don't need a 30 year old idiot that I have to "train." An older man, born spanko with a perfectly sadistic streak; experienced in the kink with a discernable discipline core. Not cocky, but very confident.....I obviously have a very dominant personality and I can not respect a man who is intimidated or subdued by my abrasive attitude. He can not be an idiot......intelligence that rivals my own is ideal. Physically dominating a woman is not an overly difficult feat......true dominance is a psychological & emotional act......I am about as locked up emotionally as a Brinks safe.......this perfect template Dom will find a way to pick that lock. The physicality is important for compatibility as well.......I'm not a wimp of a girl, I am a masochist, I am a pain slut so my match would be a sadist who doesn't pause every 30 damn seconds to ask me "are you okay?" Those words would never come from my perfect template Dom's mouth.......again, he is experienced enough to know what he is doing and he doesn't need my verbal cues to guide him......he can read body language & pick up on non-verbal communication so he wouldn't have to ask, he would simply know when enough was enough.......Dominance & submission is a dance and he should lead it, not me. He would understand that a girl like me takes pride in wearing his marks on my bottom.....I have implements & he better know how to use em. I am a control freak.......this perfect man would know that, render me breathless with his mindfuck & seduce me into complete power exchange with his overwhelming dominance. Though I'm not seeking a lover, I have to be physically attracted to this man. He has to be tall.....when he directs me to the corner & then walks up behind me to whisper in my ear, he has to be physically imposing. Athletic build, broad shoulders, large hands, a dominant jaw. I love dark brown eyes.......they're incredibly expressive. He has to have a deep, steady voice.......a silky smooth voice that can lull me one minute and cause me to bite my lip the next. He would know that it is the tone of his voice, not the volume that makes the impression......I can not stand the overly arrogant, loud & obnoxious 'Doms' in the scene. My perfect template Dom has a life outside of me......a career, a family, maybe a dog.......he can't be a micromanager. He has to be measured in his reactions.......I'm Irish and can easily piss just about anyone off.......if I can provoke him to lose control of himself, I could never trust him to take control of me. I'm a perfectionist in my professional life & seriously considering medical school, he has to hold me to an equal or even higher academic standard than I do myself.....if I'm not satisfied with a 97%, he'd better not be either. He has patience to teach, guide & mentor me; but very little tolerance for my bullshit. His resolve & determination would rival my own. I am stubborn so he has to have a very strong will. He's reasonable but demanding. He will provide me the real discipline & tangible consequences I need in my life; but he is a true spanko and would enjoy roleplays, just because spankings, etc in addition to true punishments. He'd be able to read my chaotic mind, silence my vulgar mouth and earn his place in my tiny little heart. He'd be my disciplinarian but also my friend. He's intuitive, creative, sadistic, gorgeous and perfect. :)
SirD: Not asking for much, are you? :)
Imp: Simply my perfect template of a Dom......nothing more, nothing less......just perfection. :)
***I just sent this to my Daddy Dom a couple weeks ago. I'd had this conversation via instant message with a Dom friend of mine back in 2010......about a year & 3 months before I met my Daddy. Every once in a while I will reread it and smile as I run down my "perfection in dominance" checklist and realize that my Dom does in fact hit every single mark I listed. :) I joke with Dad sometimes that I must have dreamed him into life. He laughs and told me:
"So that's what happened. See back in 2010 I was a fat, bald door-greeter at Wal-Mart who thought my belt was just for keeping my pants up. Then I woke up at the end of 2010, honed my scolding skills, started oiling straps & flexing canes, bought a dog to micromanage and set out to find my very own Irish bitch of a brat daughter to rein in." :)
Moral of the story ladies: Don't 'dream big'......dream Dom. :) Expecting perfection will eventually pay off and when the stars align just right in your naughty lil universe, you'll stumble upon your dream Dom, as if you'd written him into reality, and the two of you will live happily ever after.......with paddles & straps & canes, oh my! :)