11/20/2012
I was sitting curled up in a 'wish this pillow would make me disappear' ball in the corner of the couch, chatting with Suzi as I waited for Professor to arrive for our session. As I heard the door open, my heart stopped and I inhaled sharply as my eyes shot to the door. There he stood....tall, confident, resolved. My eyes locked with the pillow resting on my trembling knees.
"Your father is home. Get off the phone, young lady." His voice was soft....menacingly soft....but very notably firm. I said 'goodbye' and disconnected the call. I sat frozen in place, hesitantly glancing up at him as he discarded his things onto the desk and began looking at the recent offenses on my punishment list. Every few seconds, his dark brown eyes would peer up at me over the top of the page, and it knotted my stomach. I sat quietly as he read and watched him closely. Every audible sigh made me cringe. I knew he was disappointed in me and I hated that.
He finally sat the lis down on the desk and opened his laptop. "Turn on your hotspot and then go put your nose in that corner, Natalie Lynn." He instructed and I immediately obeyed. I listened closely to him behind me as I stood staring at the squiggly wallpaper in the corner. Being able to hear him but not see him always screws with my head and I have a constant battle playing out in my mind......to look or not to look. Nope, I know better. As I stood quietly in the corner, I felt him approach me from behind and stop directly behind me. I held my breath and cautiously watched his shadow on the wall; when he pins me to a corner like this it makes my head spin.
"Turn around." He spoke just inches from my ear. I slowly turned to face him, my eyes locking on his chest.
He tucked his left hand under my chin to raise my face, "You know better. Eyes right here young lady." He admonished. I blinked several times and fought to maintain eye contact.
"We've got a couple entries to discuss before we move on to the main topic. Let's start with the issue with Brad. You threw a drink in his face because he threatened to inform me of your bad behavior. When I told you to apologize, you said "nope"...."
My eyes shot to the floor. I have not ever before this told Professor "no".....ever.....and I knew this was no small offense. "Look at me now." He barked.
I cautiously raised my green eyes to again lock with his as he continued, "Not once....not twice.....three times......wait, perhaps you missed that......YOU TOLD ME NO THREE DAMN TIMES!" I hate when he raises his voice at me; I wanted to cry but I closed my eyes tightly to contain my tears before slowly returning to his intent stare. "Still not satisfied that you'd made your point that you didn't agree with me, you sent him the joke of an apology. Am I right?" He asked. I slowly shook my head and whispered, "Yes Sir."
"First, you know better. Second, I didn't ask if you agreed or not, I gave you a mandate and it was not open for discussion. Third, you are MINE......MY DAUGHTER DOES NOT TELL ME NO. Got it?" He barked. My body jumped at his elevated voice again and I quickly responded, "Yes Sir."
His left hand encircled my right wrist and he pulled me along behind him as he walked over to the couch and sat down. "Pants down now." He instructed. I slowly unbuttoned my jeans and lowered them down over my hips, leaving them balled up at my knees as he reached forward grabbing my wrist again and guiding me down over his capable lap. He hooked his fingers under the waistband of my panties and quickly yanked them down to my knees. His left hand rested on my bared bottom and my skin tingled at his touch.
"You lashed out....physically. You know better. It may not be as bad as you hitting someone, but it is a close second. You do NOT respond with physical aggression to a verbal confrontation. Clear?" He asked. "Yes Sir" I replied back over my shoulder as I braced for the first punishing swats to connect.
SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK
His hand fell again and again; hard, heavy, stinging swats rapidly applied as I struggled to remain still over his lap.
SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK
"Back to the corner!" He instructed. I quickly slid off of his lap and scurried off to the corner as my left hand drifted back to soothe my stinging bottom. "Hands on your head, young lady!" I quickly snatched my hands away from my sore bottom and interlocked my fingers on the back of my head as I tried to slow my breathing.
CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! "Owww!" I squeaked as I jumped.
"Three times! Three times you told me NO! You *NEVER* tell me no! Do you understand me, young lady?" He scolded.
CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! "Yes Sir, I'm sorry." I apologized as he picked up the pace, paddling me mercilessly with our oak bathbrush as I fought to remain still in the corner.
CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK
"I will not allow my daughter to tell me 'no' when I give her instructions. It's not going to happen Natalie Lynn. My mandates to you are not optional. You know better! If you *ever* tell me no again, this paddling will be nothing compared to what you will get; have I made myself clear little girl?" He asked as he rapidly applied several harsh swats to my thighs.
CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK
I danced around in the corner, trying in vain to escape the awful burning in my bottom and thighs as I squealed out my answer, "Yes Sir, crystal clear, I'm sorryyyyy."
CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK
"Turn around and look at me." He demanded. I hastily brushed away a tear from my eye as I turned to face my father again. He held my gaze quietly for several moments as the sting in my bottom sunk in to a deeper throb and my eyes filled with tears. His eyes were dark, cold, intense and set in a grim resolve. He audibly said nothing, his eyes said everything. I knew my behavior displeased him.....it didn't please me either. I'd been shocked at myself for telling him 'no'......I've just not ever been that brazen and stupid in my communication with him.....and certainly not when he is giving me instructions when I am in trouble. I hated that I had said it, and his eyes conveyed the extent of his displeasure with that choice.
"I told you to apologize and you sent your clever, witty, passive aggressive half-assed attempt at an apology thinking that would what? Appease me? Meet my 'apologize now' requirement?" He asked. I tried to think of a less offensive way to explain myself but there simply were none. "I just didn't want to apologize. I know you had told me I had to but I didn't care to do it. I'm so sorry." I explained as my emerald eyes searched his for reassurance. His eyes narrowed at mine, "Care now?" I lowered my eyes and softly answered, "Yes Sir."
He again encircled my wrist and took me back to the couch and quickly back down hard across his lap; his thighs hard against my torso, his legs spaced apart enough that my feet were off the ground, my red hair blanketing the carpet beneath me and I waited for my spanking to resume.
SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK
"Ouch....I'm sorry" I cried back to him over my shoulder as he spanked my bottom quickly with his large left hand.
SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK
The swats stopped raining down as I lay over his knee, trying to slow my rapid breathing. His left hand slowly skimmed over my hot, tender bottom. He firmly massaged each cheek before giving each thigh a sharp SMACK! SMACK!
"Back to the corner, young lady. A couple more minor offenses before we get to the main event."
I quickly scurried off to the corner and fought the urge to rub my throbbing bottom. I put my hands back on top of my head, like I'm expected to do and stood quietly waiting to be called out again................
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