Friday, November 9, 2012
Spanking Events & Strangers
I've been asked by a friend to blog on the subject of playing at events. There is a spanko function coming up in a few weeks and she asked me to answer some questions beforehand, hence this post. Enjoy!
#1:) Have you been to an event? Did you go alone or as half of a couple?
Yes, I have been to events a handful of times. I have gone both as part of a couple, and alone or with just a friend.
#2:) I've read a lot about people playing with strangers at events.....does this happen a lot?
Playing with a stranger is fine and yes it does happen quite often at these events.
#3:) Is it safe to play with a stranger at these events?
You're probably more safe at a party or event to play than anywhere else (if playing with a stranger). There are usually always others around. The events are a great way to meet others who share our interest in this thing we do.
#4:) Is it safe to be actually disciplined by a stranger at these events?
There is a loaded question.
Physically safe? Possibly since again, there are many others around.
Emotionally safe? I don't think so.
True discipline is next to impossible with a stranger. There is the chance of a remote disciplinarian type scene where you're disciplined by a relative stranger and that can be exciting and terrifying. But punishment for something you truly feel bad for doing, something you're guilty and shameful about, is another ball game. Submitting to punishment requires a deep emotional connection, a strong trust, a level of respect for the person who will hold you accountable. Most good Doms/Tops at these events will happily play with a new girl, but very few would truly punish a new girl. You have to remember that you truly are strangers.....knowing nothing of one another except the obvious sharing of this kink. There is so much more intricately entwined in a disciplinary relationship. A real punishment with a stranger isn't, in my opinion, a smart idea for either of you.
The Top/Dom is not comfortable with the complexity that is you......he has no idea what your threshold is, which implements are most effective, if you cry out "stop" do you really want him to stop, what's your level of experience & definitions of commonly used terms (i.e. "a hard spanking" can be two very different things depending on the person who used the term).
You, being the bottom/sub should have just as many concerns......what is his level of experience, will he be intuitive and heed subtle warnings in your body language, will he accurately gauge your threshold and give you "just enough". There are just so many open ended possibilities and risks that I wouldn't ever recommend you being punished by a complete stranger, whether at an event or otherwise.
So there you go Rachael......those are my answers to your questions (and anyone else in Blogger who cares to read this :) ). These events are typically a lot of fun and you can meet wonderful people, who you may otherwise have never known. Whether you're going as part of a couple, with a group of friends, or completely alone.....Have Fun!