Broken Limit = Very Bad Girl

 

Just in case you're curious........Professor does *not* seem to agree with that statement. 

Actually, I don't often either.........well, not now that I am held accountable for my bad behavior. Funny how that works, right? Add some tangible consequences and a naughty girl starts to behave like a good lil girl. Simple concept. :)

Almost 2 weeks ago, I went out to a late Halloween party with friends. I had decided before going that I was going to drink.......and told myself that I would have only 2........since that is my limit when I drink. I went out with only the best of intentions.......I swear, I did. Nowhere in the planning did I contemplate being a bad girl. **sighs** You all know where this is headed huh?

A friend of mine made a 'cider' to keep with the autumn holiday theme. When she told me what was in it, I sent an email to Professor asking if I could have some. And hoping like hell he wouldn't Google the word 'Everclear.' 

I believe my response to her was "I asked him but I fully expect to be slapped if he googles the word everclear." 

He didn't respond.......so I just made the decision myself........with a tad bit of encouragement from friends.

If you're also not an idiot, so are unfamiliar with Everclear......it is 190 proof alcohol. You can *literally* run a car engine on the stuff. It's not legal in some states; but for my girlfriend who lives in NH, it is so she bought it for her cider. 

Cider Recipe:
Equal Parts Everclear, Apple Juice & HotDamn Cinnamon Schnapps 

It was *really* good. Problem is.......I was *really* bad.

I knew I shouldn't have drank any of it because of the alcohol content. I tried to justify it in my own mind, saying I'd have only 2 glasses since I am allowed 2 drinks. I thought 2 over the course of 4 hours wouldn't be too bad, right? 

Wrong!

Throughout the night I had 3 glasses of the cider........3 16oz glasses. By the end of the night, I was stupid drunk.......as was most everyone else. They are allowed to be drunk.......I am not. First, my behavior when I drink used to be a problem......all common sense straight out the window. Next, because of my heart condition, I've been advised not to take it 'too far'. Third, I had a limit and I knew it. 

Of course, I told Professor the next day that I had drank it. Unfortunately, he does know what Everclear is.

Luckily for me, I was not close enough to be slapped at that moment. 

Even more unfortunate........he is decent enough at math to determine what my BAC would have been after drinking the cider and compared it to what my *allowed* BAC is for 2 drinks = I AM IN *BIG* TROUBLE!

I sort of completely smashed and obliterated the limit........like to oblivion! Some ridiculous number like oh, just 100 times over the limit! I'm thinking that number might come back to haunt me during my punishment for this offense. :( 

I felt bad that I had done it......almost immediately. I let him down and I let myself down. That night, while drinking, I convinced myself that it would be a small offense.......and I was only exceeding my limit by 1 single, solitary drink. When Professor mentioned BAC levels, I felt pretty stupid that he felt he needed to define for me what a 'drink' consists of......but he was right. I knew from the day he had set my 2 drink limit that a 'drink' would be the equivalent of a 12oz beer (12oz cocktail, 8oz wine, 1.5oz liquor). 

Like all limits or rules I have now, Professor didn't set it arbitrarily.......he thinks through things, from many different angles, and discusses it with me before he sets any rule in stone. I knew the primary reason behind the drink limit was my health. Since he set that limit for me, I've not crossed it. I rarely drink at all now; and when I do, I stop at 2. I don't know what went through my mind at this party that made me decide the limit was optional. I knew better.

So now.......a few weeks later, as the day grows nearer that I'll be standing in front of Professor to answer for this ignorance, I'm getting more nervous and worried. The internal dialogue of justification worked well at the party, but I know my 'logic' will not go over nearly as smoothly with my Disciplinarian. This is a pretty serious offense for me. Professor does *not* tolerate me doing anything that risks my health or safety......EVER. Add to that fact, that I knowingly broke one of his rules. **sighs**  It is safe to say that I am in........