So I got this email from a lurker of my blog. Maybe it is because I am stressed.....maybe it is because I was offended.....maybe it is because I felt these words a character assassination toward my Top......I can not exactly explain "why" I am irritated enough that I couldn't ignore this and had to reply to it, probably a nice even mix of all the aforementioned possibilities. I have several things to say and I am going to say them.
what the hell is wrong with you people?do you understand that this crap you write about is violence?abuse?you women who are in these 'relationships' are weak and naive and ignorant.the men are equally weak to treat another human being so poorly.they are heartless jerks who dont care that they hurt other people.you are all crazy and probably deserve each other.
Wow, someone is certainly presumptuous. I can not believe that anyone would know what kind of people we are by reading a blog, you must have a talent....well aside from running your mouth and judging people and a lifestyle you clearly know nothing about.
Violence and abuse are unfortunate realities in this world, but I can honestly say I have not been and am not now involved in any sort of abusive relationship.
Weak, naive and ignorant? I am none of the three, and many of my girlfriends and other women I know who practice DD, D/s, etc are not even close to portraying those labels. You, are ignorant and clearly do not know anything about the relationship dynamic we practice. I am not and never have been weak......physically, emotionally, socially, psychologically.......not at all weak. I actually think it takes a very strong woman to engage in this lifestyle. It requires strength in character, strength in being able to trust and follow the leadership of another, strength in the ability to be transparently honest and open with your partner.
Weak, treat others poorly, heartless jerks, hurt other people......wow......you clearly are not talking about my Dominant. Professor is not one of those things. I am actually more angry about the labels you applied to him, than those you applied to me. I'm extremely protective of my Professor and will always defend him. Professor is not at all weak and I don't believe most truly dominant men are. It takes incredible strength to lead by example and hold another person accountable. As for treating other people poorly, I have not once seen or heard Professor treat another person with anything less than respect.
Heartless jerk.......that one probably pissed me off the most. I am sure some men in this lifestyle and any other, are heartless jerks......some people are just naturally selfish pricks and they don't have to be involved in a DD or D/s lifestyle or relationship to be that way. However, Professor is probably the furthest thing from a heartless jerk that I have seen. He is an absolutely amazing man and one of my best friends in the world. He is far more than a Disciplinarian to me. He is a very caring man and ssshhh, dont tell him I said this, but he can even be sweet. I could list a million examples of why Professor is not heartless, but I'll settle for a few.
After one of our discipline sessions, I realized I had lost my wedding rings, they had fallen off of the chain I had around my neck. I went back to the hotel and searched but did not find them. I sent Professor a text message, asking him to check his bags when he got home to see if they ended up with his things. He called me minutes later and was pulled over on the side of the interstate searching through his things looking for my rings. He talked to me for over a half hour, knowing this was important to me. He even asked me if I wanted him to come back to be with me. I did want him to come back, thinking somehow he could 'fix' this for me, but I knew better and I also knew he had a date planned with his children that night and I couldn't be selfish and have him come back for me, so I told him no, I would be fine. I knew by the tone of his voice during that call, that if I had said 'yes', he would have honestly turned around and came back for me and that fact was enough to help me through the next several weeks as I tried to somehow locate my rings and come to terms with the fact that I may never see them again. Professor was amazingly supportive that afternoon and for the weeks after and his offer to come back for me if I needed him said so much to me about the kind of man he is and how much he truly cared for me. I tear up and smile now just thinking about it. No heartless jerk would have done that.
I work in medicine but make a horrible patient myself.....lol. In late April I had to have two procedures in a day and the last was the one I was most concerned about because I hate orthodontists....lol. I sat in my SUV outside of the hospital and argued with myself about even going in. I sent Professor a text, telling him I was scared (which was a first).....he called me a minute later. After trying to rationally convince me to go in for about 5 minutes, he realized I wouldn't do it on my own accord so he told me to get my butt in that hospital because he said so. That reasoning is always enough for me and I reluctantly, but obediently went in and consented to the procedure. The next day, a Saturday, Professor took time from his usually very busy family weekend, to call and check to make sure I was okay and ask if I needed anything. No heartless jerk would have done that.
Hurt other people.......again, you can not be speaking of my Top. Professor has never once hurt me.......not physically, not emotionally, not psychologically......he has not ever hurt me and I know he never would. I also know he wouldn't allow another person to hurt me. Does he spank me? Yes. Is that temporary sensation pain? Yes. His discipline does not hurt me, it helps me. He helps me to grow, to focus, to better myself as a person, a mother, a colleague, a friend. Without discipline and accountability, it is very easy for me to get into a negative cycle of doing things I know I shouldn't but not caring in the moment that I do them....then later I do feel guilty for what I have done but can not let it go and allow it to effect my moods, my relationships, my life. I still make mistakes now, but when I do, I learn from them. Professor and I talk and he points out why I shouldn't have done what I did, what I could have done instead and how I can implement changes in the future to insure it does not happen again. Then, in our relationship, I am punished when I've misbehaved. That spanking is enough for me to feel that I have paid for what I have done, and am able to forgive myself and let it go rather than dwell on it. Accountability and consistency and structure is an amazing gift that Professor gives to me every day and my acceptance and submission my gift to him in return.
I am a strong, independent, determined, naughty girl and I belong to man who is equally strong, incredibly caring, and whose determination and resolve makes mine pale in comparison. Professor is my Disciplinarian, my mentor, my friend and the way he takes care of me is an amazing gift. He helps me to grow, improve, and be truly happy. No heartless jerk does that for another person. If we are 'crazy' for the lifestyle we choose to engage in, then I never want to be 'normal.'
I think the enjoyment of spanking is a quirk that vanillas will never understand, and it frightens them. Still, they have no right to judge and I'm sorry you got an upsetting comment.
ReplyDeleteI loved your defense of Professor-- it's great to hear how caring he is!
It is very simple to get me pissed off.....just threaten something or someone I have decided is mine.....Professor is now on that list. :) There are all sorts of things, people, lifestyles, etc that I don't quite understand either, but I don't judge them. I, of course, personally thing we are normal and everyone else is crazy....lol.
ReplyDeletePeople can say what they would like to about me.....I don't often let that get to me because there are very few people in the world whose opinion I even care about.....an anonymous blogger is not one of them. But insult my Top and you've got a fight.....and now because we are 'crazy' I am probably going to get a lecture about tolerance and being confrontational....lol. At least I edited out all the pretty four letter words that were originally in this post.....see.....smart crazy girl. :)
Try not take all you see and hear to heart, even though at times it is very difficult not too when receiving comments that frequently infuriate. You personaly are allowed your own free will and choices just as the person who placed those comments are allowed free speech and choices; and when on open blogs or furums you are always open to this type of abusive onslaught .The thing to hold firm too is if you *yourself and your Prof are contented and happy* then its not for others to interfere but they often try too.
ReplyDeleteCorrection Man.
Self-disciplined people would ignore this sort of taunting.....I am sure my Professor wouldn't waste his time to even respond to nonsense like this. I am selectively self-disciplined....lol....hence my needing the external discipline. Even I might have ignored this if I hadn't felt it an assault on Professor. I've received multiple comments and emails, most of them pleasant or if in disagreement they were not outright judgemental in nature. I never mind a polite, respectful debate but come right out with character assassination of my Top and you'll likely create a pissed off imp....who by the way is free of consequences for the immediate future so might not consider my actions as carefully as I would if our schedules and lives were aligning. :)
ReplyDeleteI understand everything you have stated and especialy the need to defend your mentor, and you are correct your professor being well versed in self discipline would most likely just ignore such ignorant remarks; and when the time is right you yourself may be able to rise above such tauntings. But you are by your own words an Irish Imp with obviously a fiesty character when stirred , i understand that only to well being married to an irish lady for the past 42 years, and would NEVER wish to change a single thing about her character in the slightest. The good thing about being an irish imp is its still a good deal better than if you said you were an irish Banshee, for both your professor and myself with regards to my wife, would most deffinately have our self discipline and assurdness tested to the very limits in that scenario . You both seem very happy indeed and i wish you only good luck and success in acheiving your goals.
ReplyDeleteCorrection Man.
Correction Man......Thank you for your encouragement and kind comments. And I am sure the longer I am Professor's girl, the more self-discipline I will accumulate & exhibit.....but regardless, I will always choose to ignore that discipline in the instances I feel I need to protect and defend what is mine. :) I wonder what Professor would think about my 'selective self-discipline'....hmmm....perhaps I wont mention it to him....lol.
ReplyDeleteYou, too, have an Irish imp.....lucky man. :) We are definitely difficult and a complex breed.....and there are very few men with the natural make-up that can challenge our stubborn tendencies. A banshee huh? I am not 'often' a banshee now, because I know better...lol...but given the right amount of freedom, excessive vodka and a flaring temper.....I can revert back to a banshee in no time flat! :) I just try very hard to limit those outbursts now, or at the very least contain them until my darling Dominant is extremely busy and/or away and preoccupied. Sssshhhhh...don't repeat that...it might make me a very sore banshee.
Sometimes I think that people like that are just bored. And a bit lonely because they live in their mom's basement so they aren't getting the attention they want.
ReplyDeleteI also think that they tend not to do any real thinking on the subject before spouting opinions.
My husband says that he would have no interest in dominating me if I was weak--that a queen at on her knees is worth a million weak women at your feet.
Works for me!
My lady of many years is a typical irish imp with her raven dark hair and green eyes and a temper to match at times that is what drew me to her in the first instance lol, and just maybe it is good that i am around when that temper still occasionaly flares to prevent her from decending into decline. I do so enjoy visiting your blog the main reason it seems to be based on reality rather than fiction,and it is conducted between two people that being your trusted mentor and yourself who work together for the benifit of you both . I have stated this previously but will do so once more, you are both a wise and brave lady to understand that at times your character may sometimes lead you into situations that are not benifical; and you had the presence of mind to seek someone out to assist you in rectifying this conduct not an easy decission knowing spankings/canings ect are going to be in place. However if certain characters are frequently just left to their own devices it can sometimes lead the owner of such a character in to far more worse situations and things to cope with than a hot sore bottom .Far better to cope with a deserved sore bottom and turn out correctly and proud with ones self ,than descend into decline and end up who knows were. I hope i have not bored you with my ramblings but discipline i most assuradly understand and is why i enjoy following your progress.
ReplyDeleteCorrection Man.
Lil.....you are probably right.....perhaps the jerk who sent the email should be on match.com rather than blogger??? Lol
ReplyDeleteCorrection Man.....you have not bored me once yet. :) I enjoy writing and talking with other like-minded people.....even if we are 'crazy'. :)