So I got this email from a lurker of my blog. Maybe it is because I am stressed.....maybe it is because I was offended.....maybe it is because I felt these words a character assassination toward my Top......I can not exactly explain "why" I am irritated enough that I couldn't ignore this and had to reply to it, probably a nice even mix of all the aforementioned possibilities. I have several things to say and I am going to say them.
what the hell is wrong with you people?do you understand that this crap you write about is violence?abuse?you women who are in these 'relationships' are weak and naive and ignorant.the men are equally weak to treat another human being so poorly.they are heartless jerks who dont care that they hurt other people.you are all crazy and probably deserve each other.
Wow, someone is certainly presumptuous. I can not believe that anyone would know what kind of people we are by reading a blog, you must have a talent....well aside from running your mouth and judging people and a lifestyle you clearly know nothing about.
Violence and abuse are unfortunate realities in this world, but I can honestly say I have not been and am not now involved in any sort of abusive relationship.
Weak, naive and ignorant? I am none of the three, and many of my girlfriends and other women I know who practice DD, D/s, etc are not even close to portraying those labels. You, are ignorant and clearly do not know anything about the relationship dynamic we practice. I am not and never have been weak......physically, emotionally, socially, psychologically.......not at all weak. I actually think it takes a very strong woman to engage in this lifestyle. It requires strength in character, strength in being able to trust and follow the leadership of another, strength in the ability to be transparently honest and open with your partner.
Weak, treat others poorly, heartless jerks, hurt other people......wow......you clearly are not talking about my Dominant. Professor is not one of those things. I am actually more angry about the labels you applied to him, than those you applied to me. I'm extremely protective of my Professor and will always defend him. Professor is not at all weak and I don't believe most truly dominant men are. It takes incredible strength to lead by example and hold another person accountable. As for treating other people poorly, I have not once seen or heard Professor treat another person with anything less than respect.
Heartless jerk.......that one probably pissed me off the most. I am sure some men in this lifestyle and any other, are heartless jerks......some people are just naturally selfish pricks and they don't have to be involved in a DD or D/s lifestyle or relationship to be that way. However, Professor is probably the furthest thing from a heartless jerk that I have seen. He is an absolutely amazing man and one of my best friends in the world. He is far more than a Disciplinarian to me. He is a very caring man and ssshhh, dont tell him I said this, but he can even be sweet. I could list a million examples of why Professor is not heartless, but I'll settle for a few.
After one of our discipline sessions, I realized I had lost my wedding rings, they had fallen off of the chain I had around my neck. I went back to the hotel and searched but did not find them. I sent Professor a text message, asking him to check his bags when he got home to see if they ended up with his things. He called me minutes later and was pulled over on the side of the interstate searching through his things looking for my rings. He talked to me for over a half hour, knowing this was important to me. He even asked me if I wanted him to come back to be with me. I did want him to come back, thinking somehow he could 'fix' this for me, but I knew better and I also knew he had a date planned with his children that night and I couldn't be selfish and have him come back for me, so I told him no, I would be fine. I knew by the tone of his voice during that call, that if I had said 'yes', he would have honestly turned around and came back for me and that fact was enough to help me through the next several weeks as I tried to somehow locate my rings and come to terms with the fact that I may never see them again. Professor was amazingly supportive that afternoon and for the weeks after and his offer to come back for me if I needed him said so much to me about the kind of man he is and how much he truly cared for me. I tear up and smile now just thinking about it. No heartless jerk would have done that.
I work in medicine but make a horrible patient myself.....lol. In late April I had to have two procedures in a day and the last was the one I was most concerned about because I hate orthodontists....lol. I sat in my SUV outside of the hospital and argued with myself about even going in. I sent Professor a text, telling him I was scared (which was a first).....he called me a minute later. After trying to rationally convince me to go in for about 5 minutes, he realized I wouldn't do it on my own accord so he told me to get my butt in that hospital because he said so. That reasoning is always enough for me and I reluctantly, but obediently went in and consented to the procedure. The next day, a Saturday, Professor took time from his usually very busy family weekend, to call and check to make sure I was okay and ask if I needed anything. No heartless jerk would have done that.
Hurt other people.......again, you can not be speaking of my Top. Professor has never once hurt me.......not physically, not emotionally, not psychologically......he has not ever hurt me and I know he never would. I also know he wouldn't allow another person to hurt me. Does he spank me? Yes. Is that temporary sensation pain? Yes. His discipline does not hurt me, it helps me. He helps me to grow, to focus, to better myself as a person, a mother, a colleague, a friend. Without discipline and accountability, it is very easy for me to get into a negative cycle of doing things I know I shouldn't but not caring in the moment that I do them....then later I do feel guilty for what I have done but can not let it go and allow it to effect my moods, my relationships, my life. I still make mistakes now, but when I do, I learn from them. Professor and I talk and he points out why I shouldn't have done what I did, what I could have done instead and how I can implement changes in the future to insure it does not happen again. Then, in our relationship, I am punished when I've misbehaved. That spanking is enough for me to feel that I have paid for what I have done, and am able to forgive myself and let it go rather than dwell on it. Accountability and consistency and structure is an amazing gift that Professor gives to me every day and my acceptance and submission my gift to him in return.
I am a strong, independent, determined, naughty girl and I belong to man who is equally strong, incredibly caring, and whose determination and resolve makes mine pale in comparison. Professor is my Disciplinarian, my mentor, my friend and the way he takes care of me is an amazing gift. He helps me to grow, improve, and be truly happy. No heartless jerk does that for another person. If we are 'crazy' for the lifestyle we choose to engage in, then I never want to be 'normal.'