Repeat Lessons I NEVER Want to Repeat

06/22/2012

"Oh thank God." I said aloud to myself as I pulled into an open parking space. I hadn't seen either of Professor's vehicles, so I must have beat him here. I was running a few minutes late and I know how he hates 'Natalie-time' so I was in a panic as I pulled into the parking lot of the hotel, completely expecting to see him here, waiting and less than thrilled. Surprised and relieved to see I had arrived first, I ran in to check in. Hurrying back to my SUV, my phone sounded his ringtone. I glanced at the text he sent, 'Awaiting a room number' and instinctively spun around to scan the parking lot. Still not seeing him, I rolled my eyes and texted back, '139 Sir. Are you here?' I grabbed my bag, placed a key on my windshield for him and went into the room.

I dropped my bag and realized we needed more pillows so I left to go ask for some. Walking back down the hall with pillows in hand my phone rang. It was work so I answered it quickly as I swiped my card in the door to our room. The light turned green and I pushed the door but it stopped.....caught on the security latch from the inside. SHIT! I knew exactly what that meant and it was not good. Professor was in the room.....and I was not. "Get off the phone and wait there until I call you in." His voice came from the other side of the door. My stomach turned, he does not sound happy. I told my co-worker 'goodbye' and quickly turned off my phone, placing it in my pocket and stood outside the door.

Professor said only one word as he swung the door open, "In." His towering frame in the doorway more than intimidating enough. I tried to quiet my panic as I glanced up at him and then just as quickly looked away when I saw the look on his face. I slid past him and into the room, discarding the pillows onto the bed. He shut the door and walked toward me, stopping inches in front of me. I held my breath, started to twist my fingers while keeping my focus on the floor. He sighed audibly and then walked over to the table and sat down before speaking to me.

"What time is it Lynn?" I sighed and responded, "12:10 Sir." He snapped his fingers to get my attention, "Look at me when I am speaking to you young lady." I hesitantly raised my gaze to his. "So, running on Natalie-time this morning. Care to explain yourself?....No wait, let me rephrase that, explain yourself." I blinked several times, trying to gauge the level of his irritation by the look in his eyes. "I could have sped here but I thought you would rather I arrive late and alive." I kick myself, realizing that what I just said sounded a little bit sassy and a lot of ridiculous. He smiled for a moment and then replied, "Ah a debate.....this will be fun. You could have sped to get here or you could have left 5 minutes earlier from your breakfast meeting, right?" I nodded and answered, "Yes Sir." His dark brown eyes narrowing and immediately subduing my stubborn sass. "Care to give me another excuse to pick apart little girl?" I knew better, "No Sir. I'm sorry." He shook his head and leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table, his dominant jaw perched atop his fingertips, "You will be. Hand me your list."

The color ran from my face as I tried hard to think....."Um, list Sir?" I questioned. His eyes narrowed again, "I emailed you to bring your list last night. You know I always email you instructions the day before a session. Am I right?" I sighed and lectured myself for being so careless, "Yes Sir, you are right. I worked last night and didn't see the email. Professor, I am sorry, I didn't intentionally forget it. Oh wait, I have a copy of the list from our last session in my truck and I could add the few extra offenses to the back page if you'd like Sir?" I cross my fingers hoping I can redeem myself here. "Go." His reply short as I scurried out to my SUV to grab the list.

I re-enter the room and walk to hand him the list, he shakes his head and points across the room, "Sit at the desk and add the offenses." I grabbed a pen from my purse and sat at the desk. I draw a complete blank on the offenses I have to add. His eyes burning into the back of my head, even without facing the man, his gaze is penetrating. I start to write, quickly before I forget these again. #1: My son knows the F word, #2: Speeding 84 in a 50, #3: Bratty email to Professor. I rise, push the chair back in and slowly drag my feet over to where Professor is seated at the table. I stop directly in front of him and extend my arm, offering him the list, my eyes locked on the floor. "Bring me a pen." His voice building the nervousness in my body. I hand him a pen and again stand in front of him with my hands clasped in front of me. "Go stand in the corner." I hurry off to the corner, thankful to not be facing him for a moment, though I can still feel his eyes on me as I wait.

"I added two offenses to this list. Why don't you tell me what those two are." I stare at the corner of the wall and think for a moment. "I will give you a clue Natalie Lynn. One of them is from an incident this week with you at work, the other is from today." I roll my eyes, knowing he can not see my face, and then respond. "Laughing at my boss and being late today Sir." I hear him rise from where he was sitting. My heart races. I close my eyes to calm myself, when I open them I can see the sun has painted a picture on the wall in the form of shadows. I smile momentarily looking at it.....my shadow pressed to the corner and alongside it is his shadow, tall...confident...his strong arms folded against his chest as he looks on appraising his naughty girl. I can feel his body, literally inches from mine. His hand reaches forward, sweeping my hair back on my shoulder to expose my neck and ear as he leans in to speak. "There are five lessons on the list for today young lady and every single one of them is a lesson you are forcing me to repeat. You do know how I feel about repeating my lessons, don't you?" I can't speak, I simply nod my head yes. "You know very well how I feel about repeating myself, and yet you insist I do it again." He leans in even closer, his face right next to my right ear, I stop breathing. His voice is quiet, silky smooth but incredibly unnerving when he finally speaks into my ear, "Class is now in session Natalie-Lynn." 

"Turn around and look at me." I spin around and look up at Professor. "Lesson number one today is in language arts. What is it your son said to you this week?" I sigh and watch as Professor walks to the table and sits down, flipping the list pages through his hands. "Look at me! What did he say Natalie Lynn?" I quickly return my gaze to his and softly answer, "He said are you f-ing serious." Professor's eyes narrow, his jaw is clenched as he replies. "Say the word." I swallow hard and look at him, pleading with my eyes. He knows I hate to curse around him. "I can't Sir." I whisper. "It is not a request and you will do as you are told little girl. Now, say it." I take a deep breath and barely audibly repeat myself, "He said are you fucking serious." He gestures with his left hand for me to raise my eyes to meet his and I slowly look up and into his eyes. "Again." He says and my heart sinks. "He said are you fucking serious." Professor's eyes holding my green eyes captive as he mouths the word once more, "Again." I repeat it again and continue to beg with my eyes for him to just spank me now and stop making me speak like this in front of him.

"Next, say 'what the fuck did you say'." My mouth had to have dropped open as I stare in disbelief at the word that just came from his mouth. I have heard Professor curse, but very and I do mean VERY rarely and I have not ever heard the F word come from his mouth, he has typed it to me once when we were discussing the term mindfuck. Professor is one of those guys that if and when he swears, you know he means it and hope you are not the one it is directed at. "Professor please...." I plead. "Now." is his reply and I know better than to challenge him again. "What the fuck did you say." I whisper. His eyes still holding mine as he speaks again. "Now say, what the fuck is for dinner." I am dumbfounded, I can not believe he has just said that word again. Then it dawns on me what he is doing and I know he is right.....it shocks and disgusts me to hear it from his mouth and he wants me to see that it disgusts him just as much to hear it from my mouth. "What the fuck is for dinner." I whisper, and cautiously look at him, wondering how long he is going to make me repeat this word in front of him. I HATE it. :(  "Sounds ignorant, doesn't it?" I nod my head yes. "You don't want your son sounding ignorant and it upsets you to hear him speak like that. He heard that language from you, his mother. You don't want to hear it from your child and I will not hear it from mine anymore, do you understand me?" I nod my head and offer a quiet, "Yes Sir." He points back to the corner and I return to face it, thankful that I don't have to curse in front of him anymore.

Professor walks away and pulls a chair to the center of the room and sits in it. "Turn around and get over here." I turn from the corner and my eyes are attracted to his, he holds my gaze as I walk to stand beside him. "Pull your pants to your knees." Keeping my eyes on his, I slowly unbutton and slide down my American Eagle jeans to my knees. His right hand reaches out and encircles my right wrist and he guides me down across his lap. My hair blankets the floor below me and I try to slow my breathing as his hand softly caresses my panty-clad bottom. "Language arts lesson today young lady.....I will not allow you to continue to talk like an ignorant, uneducated and undisciplined brat. You're better than that and so is your son. Erase the word from your vocabulary. Got it?" I shake my head and say, "Yes Sir." 

The talking portion of lesson #1 is over now as he starts to slap my bottom. I gasp as the first volley starts to rain down. It has been 7 weeks since my last spanking and I suppose I forgot how hard Professor can spank. SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK   His left hand fell again and again......the right cheek, then the left.....he made sure to pay attention to my sit spots and upper thighs as I fought to stay still across his lap.  SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK   He stopped swatting for a moment and I tried to catch my breath. His fingers slid between my cheek and the leg of my hipster panties and he pulled them up, bunching the thin satin material together in the middle and exposing both of my cheeks before beginning his assault again. SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK    I wiggled and shifted back and forth trying to somehow avoid the punishing swats. I crossed my ankles and whimpered a bit as I tried to wish the sting away. His right arm wrapped securely around my waist and he really let my bared bottom and thighs have it.  SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK   He would swat the same spot a half dozen times or so before moving to the next, alternating sides, focusing dozens of forceful swats on my upper thighs. The burn in my bottom was building and I knew better than to put my hand back to block the spanking so I kept my right hand planted on the floor beneath me and with my left hand I grabbed hold of his ankle and held on tightly as he continued my vocabulary lesson.  SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK!!! 

Finally the slapping died down and I lay over his lap, trying to concentrate on my breathing. Professor rested his left hand on the small of my back and gently rubbed his thumb back and forth as he spoke to me. "When you go home, I want you to delete your swear jar file. This is the last time we will be discussing foul language coming from your mouth because you do not speak like that any more. Am I clear?" I whispered a, "Yes Sir" between ragged breaths. He slapped my left cheek incredibly hard....SMACK...."Good. Up and put your nose back in that corner." I slid off his lap and shuffled to the corner with my jeans tangled up at my ankles. 

I stood facing the corner, thankful that the cursing lesson was over and congratulating myself silently that he had not washed my mouth out with soap. I had been worried about that all week long. Even without the soap, he got his point across. Professor is a very persuasive man. :)  His voice startled me and I outwardly jumped when he spoke again. "Come here." I turned to find him again sitting at the table thumbing through the list. I stood in front of him, jeans at my ankles, hands dropped to my sides as is expected, and my green eyes searching his bold, brown eyes. "Lesson number two today Natalie Lynn is mathematics." I fought the urge to giggle at him and began laughing at myself internally at the irony of this session and my own crazy luck in finding my disciplinarian in a real life professor. I suddenly stopped my internal dialogue as I watched Professor's eyes flash and darken as he stared at me, his jaw set and his body language turning to that 'all business' look I am all too familiar with. In that moment, gauging his reaction, I suddenly realized what math he was referring to......my speeding. Gulp!

"What is 84 minus 50?" He asked WAY too quietly. I tried to swallow down the panic rising in my throat as I realized how upset he truly was at me. I whispered, "34 Sir." His eyes seemed to stare right through me and I had an overwhelming sense of regret for my driving. "No. What is 84 minus 50?" I blinked and again answered, "34 Sir." He shook his head at me and repeated himself again, "What is 84 minus 50 Natalie Lynn?" I hesitated, racking my brain, wondering if I was missing something.......I have always been good at math and I was certain I was right......"84 minus 50 is 34 Professor." I stated, trying to sound far more confident than I truly was. He stood up from where he was sitting and walked toward me, his eyes not leaving mine as he approached. "No. 84 minus 50 is dangerous. 84 minus 50 is illegal. 84 minus 50 is reckless. 84 minus 50 is ignorant and most importantly, 84 minus 50 is not acceptable for MY little girl." He stopped right in front of me and stared down into my eyes. I wanted to turn away, his gaze could very easily bring me to tears. I swallowed hard and searching his face for any sign of softening I said, "I am so sorry." His eyes narrowed at my apology and flashed again......anger, irritation, worry, love......I lowered my eyes to escape his gaze but he tucked his left hand under my chin and raised my face to again meet his. He didn't say a word, neither did I.....neither of us had to in that moment.....there was a very involved discussion taking place between the two of us on a level deeper than mere spoken words. 

Professor has incredibly expressive eyes and he uses them well to convey a message without saying a word. I wanted to look away, to wrap my arms around his waist and hug him tightly while I cried my remorse into his chest. I hate when he looks at me like this.....I hate when I *make* him look at me like this. I feel so incredibly small. I looked up at him as he studied my eyes.....his flashing between concern for my safety, relief that I was okay, irritation at having to repeat himself and anger that I had put myself in danger. It seemed an eternity before he spoke again. "84 minus 50 puts MY daughter in danger and I will never overlook that. Stack 3 pillows in the center of the bed and lay over them Natalie." I slowly shuffled to the bed and stacked the pillows and then crawled over them, raising my bottom for what I was sure would be an awful whipping. I placed my face on the backs of my arms and I felt Professor sit on the bed next to me and slide his fingers under the waistband of my panties......then in one quick motion he pulled them down to my knees. He stood up and I braced, awaiting the first swat but it didn't come. I turned to look over my shoulder but didn't see him. Then I heard the sink running in the bathroom and realized he must have had to use the restroom so I laid my face on my arms and waited.

The bed dipped again and Professor was next to me, I stayed still. Then I felt an incredibly warm sensation on my right cheek and immediately after my left. Professor's hands patting warm, wet washcloths onto my bare skin. I sucked in a breath and my mind began to drown in panic. Oh God no......he has not ever spanked me with my bottom wet.....it has been 7 weeks since he spanked me the last time and I am sooooo sensitive right now.....oh my God what have I done. My breathing was ragged and I froze still as I felt him stand again. "84 minus 50?" he questioned. "34 Sir." I somehow answered. Professor reached down and pulled the dripping cloths off my bottom, making sure to drag them down across my thighs as well and then from nowhere what sounded like a shotgun going off! CRACK! I heard it before I felt it, but oh my God did I feel it! An intense sting across my sit spots that was like nothing I have ever felt before. I had no time to brace for the next....CRACK! My entire body jumped. CRACK CRACK CRACK! The next three fell quickly across my thighs, one line leading to the next searing into my thighs. I whimpered out loud.  CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK! I whined and fought to stay still as Professor strapped my wet bottom and thighs with the heavy strap. CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK!  I squeezed the blankets in a vice grip and buried my face between my arms, yelling out into the bed each time his strap connected with force on my very sorry bottom. CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK!

"Look at me" his voice echoed from my left side. I gazed up through puffy eyes to see Professor kneeling beside the bed, strap rested on his knee as he reached forward with his left hand and stroked my hair. I leaned in to his touch and sniffled. "I will not ever allow you to endanger yourself or those around you. We have discussed speeding before and you told me last time that we wouldn't have to discuss it again. 84 minus 50 is 34 so I am giving you 34 with this strap.......but because I have to repeat myself I really should be giving you more than that." I bit my lower lip to prevent myself from yelling NO at him. He ran his fingers through my hair again and then stood up and patted my head before taking that strap to my bottom again, harder this time. CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK!  I sobbed into the blanket and held it tightly. He was determined and he didn't let my whining deter him from what he determined I deserved. Every stinging swat seemed to fall harder than the last. That strap hurts like hell on its own....but applied to a wet bottom.....it was an intensity I have not experienced before. CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK!   I crossed my ankles to keep from kicking my legs and whimpered at each swat.

I lay still trying to calm my breathing down when I felt Professor's fingertips tracing the wide welts left by the heavy strap. Even his touch stung. Warm again.......he placed warm, wet washcloths on my bottom again and massaged the skin beneath them for a moment. He stood and announced in his steely, resolved, all-business tone of voice "Now I am going to give you another 34, this time with my belt and you will count them. You will NOT make me REPEAT myself. Do you understand me young lady?" My heart sank and I whimpered again and shook my head yes. He quickly pulled the wet cloths from my bottom and started whipping me with his belt. CRACK  "One Sir."  CRACK  "Two"  CRACK CRACK CRACK!  "Three, four, five Sir." I tried to keep up the counting with his strapping. He would go slow one minute and then fire off 3 or 4 the next. His belt stings through jeans......applied to a bare AND wet bottom......I was a VERY SORRY girl for speeding. CRACK  "six"  CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK  He applied five to my thighs with a force that left no doubt in my mind as to how upset he truly was at my ignorant behavior. "Seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven Sir." I whispered out between ragged breaths. CRACK CRACK  "twelve, thirteen"  I kicked my legs, I couldn't help it.....the sting was so intense. I fought to stay in position but I had to kick my legs. CRACK CRACK CRACK  "fourteen, fifteen, sixteen Sir"  CRACK CRACK  "Professor pleaseeee.....Im sorryyyy." I am usually very stoic when I am punished but I couldn't help myself......I whined and apologized and tried to plead and convince him to stop but I knew better.....he always follows through....always. "Count or we will start again." I resigned myself to my fate and quickly counted, "seventeen, eighteen" He swung his belt down again and again. CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK  "nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two Sir." I sobbed into the blankets and my kicking legs stilled. I knew I deserved this and even though it hurt like hell to be whipped on a wet bottom, it was kind of comforting to know he cared this much to do whatever he had to do to ensure I did not make him repeat this lesson again. "Last dozen, they are going to be fast and they are going to be hard, you don't have to count them, I will." I shook my head to acknowledge him and he did exactly what he said he would.......those last twelve rained down incredibly fast and what felt to my bottom and thighs like full force swats. CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK

I laid limp on the bed and whimpered into the blankets. The bed dipped as Professor sat next to me on the bed again. This time a dry towel was placed on my bottom and he gently dried my aching skin. Then I felt his fingertips and he placed lotion on my bottom and thighs.......then his strong hands rubbed it into the punished skin......mixing between firm kneading, massaging and trailing his fingertips along the lines of the welts. His soft touches combined with the pain from the whipping was an intensity all its own. I slowed my breathing and just laid there enjoying his touch and trying not to think about the fact that I still had 3 more lessons left to get through today.

After a few minutes he rose from the bed and returned to the table and sat down looking at the list. I stayed lying on the bed with my sore bottom raised by the pillows but I tilted my head to the side, my face laying on the backs of my hands while I looked up at Professor. "Social studies is lesson number three Natalie Lynn." I smiled at him, despite the tender state of my bottom, I was finding humor in this string of lessons so lovingly being taught by my favorite educator. :) "Specifically, you're lack of respect for authority and need to constantly challenge it. We have discussed this before as well, every time you challenge authority it weakens that authority. You laughing in your boss' face was disrespectful." I sighed, I knew he was right. "I know she was only doing her job Professor but she didn't have to be such a bitch." I clasped my hand over my mouth as I heard what I said at the same time Professor heard it. I quickly turned my head away from him and buried it back in the blankets, kicking myself for cursing so casually. "Comes out pretty easily, doesn't it? I see your filter is still broken."  WHACK WHACK WHACK  "Owww." I squealed out as his heavy paddle connected with my sore bottom. WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK  Half a dozen swats firmly fell one right after the next. I kicked my legs and threw my head back gasping for air. WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK   I whimpered and squirmed.  "You let me know when you are ready to continue intelligent conversation, young lady." I kept my face in the blankets slowing my breathing for a few minutes before slowly turning to face him again, hesitantly gazing up at him. "I'm sorry Professor." His eyes locking on mine, "I know."

"Enough with the excuses. How could you have handled the situation with your boss better?" He asked. I sighed, "I shouldn't have laughed at her Sir. I could have told her I disagreed and not been a brat about it." He shook his head yes and stoop up, walking toward me. "You're going to get punished for the way you reacted, not for disagreeing, clear?" I nodded yes. "After every swat I want you to repeat, 'If I disagree I can do so intelligently, respectfully and in private'. Clear?" I shook my head again and said, "Yes Sir."

WHACK  "If I disagree I can do so intelligently, respectfully and in private."  WHACK  "If I disagree I can do so intelligently, respectfully and in private."  WHACK  "If I disagree I can do so intelligently, respectfully and in private."  WHACK   "If I disagree I can do so intelligently, respectfully and in private."   WHACK   "If I disagree I can do so intelligently, respectfully and in private."   WHACK   "If I disagree I can do so intelligently, respectfully and in private."  WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK  A half dozen swats found their mark on my right sit spot.....then the left   WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK  I crossed my ankles to stay still and keep from kicking my legs as he rained down punishing swats with one of our smaller paddles.  WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK   WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK    

After I slowed my breathing, Professor helped me up and had me pull my jeans up and sit down at the table with him so we could open my MCAT scores. :)  This is the exam I took a month ago that all students who want to go to medical school must take. I took it in May and it was an exhausting test.....breaks included I was there near 7 hours....not including my 2 hour commute down and back. In March Professor started getting on me about studying for this exam because I really hadn't been much. I was confident in my writing, verbal reasoning and biological sciences but the physical sciences, specifically the organic chemistry part, was something I needed to study for. Raw scores for this exam are translated to scaled scoring.....for the three parts (biological science, physical science and verbal reasoning) there are 15 points available for each section and then you are given a letter grade for your two writing samples between J (the lowest) and T (the highest)......so a perfect score would be a 45T. I am a perfectionist and a very driven girl when it comes to my academics and profession. I have contemplated going to medical school since I was a teenager but after my undergrad, I took time off to work and be a military wife and with some unwelcome prompting from cervical cancer, had a child. All things happen for a reason and if I hadn't had my son when I did then I wouldn't have ever had him as I lost my husband not quite two years after we had our son.......so all things considered, it was good to put off medical school.......until now. :) I work in medicine now and will always want to continue to practice clinically but I do not just want my MD, I want my PhD as well because I have interests on the research side of medicine too. I know I have the intelligence to attain both my MD & PhD but I can't be happy settling so I had to have an amazing score on my MCAT because I want Harvard, not a second-rate med school. Not at all judging or knocking anyone who studied elsewhere, I just personally have always wanted Harvard. So anyway.....enough rambling......back to the big reveal.

"Hand me the envelope." Professor said as I approached the table with a bottle of water for him and one for myself. I went to my bag and took out the envelope. I have had this envelope in my possession for almost 2 weeks now and have fought the urge to open it because it was so very important for me to open it with Professor because without his motivation, I would not have went ahead with taking the exam right now. The last two years (2 years to this day, June 22nd....is when I technically became a single-mother and no longer had my husband) I have just been living a crazy, fast-paced, emotionally bankrupt life. I worked and took care of my son but aside from that I was losing sight of what I wanted, breaking any rule I stumbled across, partying too much and just honestly being ignorant in the things I was doing. Finding my Professor (I wasn't even looking when I found him) in the beginning of Feb this year, helped to tame a lot of the nonsense behaviors I was partaking in and helped to open my eyes and re-evaluate where I was and where I wanted to be in my life. He motivated me, encouraged me, challenged me and above everything else.....he supported me. He is an absolutely amazing man and he has done so much for me the last 6 months. I could never thank him enough or repay him for the things he has shown me, the unrelenting support he has given me, the encouragement and challenging me to do and be better. That is why I had to wait to be with him to open this envelope......for a girl who is not and never has been patient, waiting these two weeks has been incredibly difficult but as long as I convinced myself that I was waiting *for* Professor, I could wait. :) 

I walked back across the room and extended my arm to his waiting hand and gave him the envelope. He opened it and scanned the page, then looked up at me and asked, "How do you think you did Natalie? Honestly?" I scanned his face, looking for a clue as to my score. My perfectly-strict, wonderfully demanding Disciplinarian is also a sadist....lol....so the look on his face gave *nothing* away. I looked into his dark eyes, hoping for an idea there.....still nothing. He could sense what I was doing and I know he was enjoying watching me squirm....lol. "Honestly, how do you think you did?" I thought back to the test and tried to silence the panic and doubt in my cluttered little mind. "Well, I know from the AAMC site that there has not been a perfect 45T score this year so I know I wanted perfect but did not get perfect. Average is high 20's, good is low 30's and amazing is anything higher than a 35 or 36. So....umm......I will guess mid-30's Sir?" I replied almost questioning rather than stating. He smiled at me and glanced back at the paper in his hand as I continued to squirm under his gaze. "You didn't get mid-30's Natalie." My heart sunk and my stomach knotted up and I was dreading his next words because I *have* to have a score in the mid to high 30's to be accepted to HMS. I started nervously chewing my bottom lip and cracking my knuckles. He looked at me for a moment before addressing me again and I again searched his eyes for any fleeting clue or hint as to my score. "How is a 40R? Will Harvard take a 40R?" He asked with a smile. My head popped up and I looked at him in disbelief, my jaw dropping open. "Really?" I asked. He shook his head and smiled at me as he handed me the paper so I could see it for myself. I smiled and jumped up and ran right into his arms, wrapping my arms around his waist and hugging him tightly. His arm draped across my shoulder pulling me in for a hug before holding me at arms length and saying, "I am very proud of you Natalie Lynn." I absolutely   l-o-v-e-d that. 

After talking for a few more minutes and thoroughly reading the paper and discussing the admissions process to HMS, the home I am working on purchasing, my son's 4th birthday (tomorrow....6/23)......he folded the paper and placed it back in the envelope. My eyes didn't leave his and I sat and quietly watched the transformation in his eyes, body language, facial expressions, etc as he switched from happy & proud father back to the resolved, strict disciplinarian determined to teach his girl a lesson. I again started to chew the corner of my bottom lip nervously. He placed the envelope on the table and looked at me. I held his gaze momentarily and then in a subtle offering of my submission to him, I stood in front of him with my hands down at my sides and lowered my eyes from his. 

"Lesson number four today is in study skills, specifically time management young lady. Take your pants down to your knees and stand facing the wall over there." He said as he pointed. "Yes Sir." I offered and quickly walked toward the wall and lowered my jeans again. "I want your hands flat on the wall and your feet a shoulder width apart with your bottom pushed out. If you move from that position, we will begin again. Am I clear Natalie Lynn?" I slowly positioned myself as he had instructed and said, "Yes Sir." He paced behind me, lecturing again about time management, excuses for being late, being considerate of others, etc. I listened and I knew he was right.  CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK   "Damn it" I mumbled before I realized what I was saying as I shifted from foot to foot trying to escape the burning in my bottom from the heavy paddle he has. "What?" His voice was quiet......too quiet......that is what alerted me to what I had said. I scolded myself in my head for letting my mouth slip yet again with him. "What did you just say little girl?" I froze still and stopped breathing as he spoke literally inches from my ear in his quiet but angry all-business tone of voice. I know he asked me a question but I couldn't answer him. I was so angry with myself that I had said it and I couldn't bring myself to say it again. "I heard what you said young lady. I had planned to only give you 10 swats, one for every minute you kept me waiting. But now, since you want to curse when I am paddling you, now I will give you 20 hard swats. Would you like to curse again and make it 30? I can do this all day little girl." I shook my head no and concentrated on staying in position and keeping my mouth shut. 

I hung my head as he paddled me hard and fast with his heaviest paddle on my extremely tender bottom and thighs.  CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK   I whimpered out as he kept connecting. My bottom was so sore from the whipping on my wet bottom that every swat from the paddle seemed unbearable. I bit my lip so I wouldn't cry out or curse again.  CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK   I threw my head back and gasped for air as the last of the paddle swats landed low on my thighs. I stood facing the wall, my head hung for several minutes. I knew Professor was watching me fight to remain still and in position until he gave me permission to move. I could not see him but I knew he was sitting at the table watching me struggle to behave. I dropped my left hand back and slowly rubbed my throbbing bottom. "Put your hand back on the wall now Natalie Lynn." I sighed and stomped my foot but returned my hand to the wall as directed. "I know it hurts, it is supposed to hurt. Do not rub it young lady." I hung my head and replied, "Yes Sir." 

After what seemed like forever I felt him close to me again. His strong hand sweeping my long, red hair back off of my shoulder to again expose my ear to him. "Time to begin lesson number five young lady. Turn around."  I slowly spun around and was staring at his broad chest. He tilted my head to look down into my emerald eyes. "Lesson number five is also a repeat of a lesson I have taught you before. However, apparently I did not spank you hard enough the last time I taught you this lesson young lady because you are making me repeat myself again. This lesson is in the Principal's office because it is a lesson in your communication with the Principal, me."  I again started to chew my lip, my stomach in knots as I remembered the only other time I have been in trouble for how I spoke to him. I *never* wanted to repeat that lesson again. It was my last session, in the beginning of May and I had sent him an extremely disrespectful email which he made me read to him as he whipped me with our rubber looped strap and it hurt sooooo bad. My mind in a panic, praying he doesn't use that damn thing today after the spanking, paddling, strapping & belt whipping on a wet bottom I don't think I could remain still or quiet if he whipped me with that rubber strap today. I look up at him and again our eyes begin their own communication. His dark brown eyes are set, firm, resolved, intent on teaching a lesson......my puffy emerald green eyes are apologetic and silently pleading for leniency. 

His left hand comes out from behind his back and in it is his heavy paddle. My stomach turns again.....oh that thing hurts so bad.....but I try to reassure myself that at least it isn't the rubber strap. "It is a very fine line we walk between business and pleasure. We are friends and we enjoy one another's company and can have fun together Natalie Lynn, but there is a line that has been drawn and you know where that line is and what happens if you choose to cross it. You chose to send me that bratty email knowing it would get a reaction from me. You have to keep your guard up and use your filters when speaking to authority figures young lady and that includes me. You choosing to send me a message saying you will misbehave and being sassy about it is disrespectful and I will not tolerate that from my little girl. Clear?" I lowered my eyes, he had me and I knew it.......the second he mentioned that what I said could even hint at disrespect toward him.......I wont ever argue or try to excuse anything he perceives as a lack of respect from me......I respect him immensely and never want him to feel as if I have disrespected him and if he does then I will immediately submit to whatever punishment he deems appropriate so I can pay for it and be forgiven. "Yes Sir. I'm sorry if I offended you Professor." He tucks his hand under my chin and raises my eyes to his again, "I know you are sorry but you are going to be punished and then I know you will work harder so it doesn't happen again." I nod my head and he takes my wrist in his hand and leads me to the chair.

He sits down and takes me across his knee again. He doesn't lecture again, he knows he doesn't have to......say the word 'disrespect' is what he felt from something I did or said and I would beg him to spank me. I crossed my ankles to keep my legs still, knowing how much this paddle hurts. He placed his right hand on the small of my back and with his left he began to swing down that paddle again and again on my bottom and thighs. CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK    Finally after several dozen punishing swats, the paddling stopped. I lay completely spent across his lap as he ran his fingertips lightly across my properly punished cheeks. He rubbed firmly and then would trace with his fingertips again.......light touches mixed with more firm kneading......it always dips my mind into a very overwhelming subspace and I love it. 

After a few minutes of just being contently draped across his capable lap, he finally had me stand up and pull my jeans back up. We sat again at the table and spent time discussing the lessons learned and how I would make sure they did not need repeating. Then discussed our kids, work, life, etc like we always do. :)  I really kind of like our routine. :)  When he finally had to go, I stood and he pulled me in for one more hug. My bottom was incredibly sore but my heart incredibly light and my mind on over drive contemplating what the next several years of medical school and my residency will be like........and smiled thinking how much closer the house I am buying is to my Disciplinarian.......I wont have to drive 4 hours to meet him for lunch and a spanking now....lol. :)