Anytime I have a session with Professor slowly sneaking up on me, I think.....a lot.
Sometimes I am thinking about what I did wrong.....sometimes I am thinking through what I think the session will be......sometimes I am thinking about his reactions.
Today, after catching up on some blogs of friends and returning emails to friends in the kink, I am thinking about triggers. Those little subtle (or not so subtle) buttons that seem to enhance a scene, pull at something deeper and ultimately intensify the entire experience.
I would say I am not a simple girl......not in this part of my life or any other. I have a complex list of triggers within the kink and thinking today, I realized that I do not believe I ever sent the 'list' to Professor. Even if I haven't specifically spelled it out for him, Professor has an uncanny ability to push these buttons every single time. Even thinking back to our first session.....the man pushed my buttons.....and I loved it.
Intuitive? Perhaps. Perfect? I think so. :)
I will share three of my biggest triggers.........
Authority.......definitely a trigger for me......not surprising since I am a spanko with a discipline core. Ah but add the typical complexity that is me....lol....I tend to defy most all authority.....and actually have for most of my life. But when it comes to my template of a perfect Spanker (synonymous with Dom, Top, etc....take your pick).....it is not enough for me that he is authoritative......he has to be authority. Not an equal......I could not begin to take discipline seriously from an equal.
Ownership......HUGE. The possessive terms of endearment, especially in scene or tied into a lecture, get me every time. "My" little girl, brat, daughter, etc......take your pick, fill in the blank....if it is possessive, I love it. I have many friends in the kink and have gone to social engagements with them but I am not the kind of girl who finds fun in allowing multiple men to spank me. Not my thing. I want ONE....only one and I have to be *His*. Respect is huge for me and I do not give it to anyone......it is earned and if I do not respect you as a person, I could never allow you to discipline me. I actually got an email a few days ago from a guy that said:
"It sounds like you can take quite a spanking, I like that. Does your Prof allow you to play with others?"
I still have not replied to the email.....wanted to, but haven't. Yes, of course I can take quite a spanking.....I am a spanko and possibly a masochist (depending on who you ask...lol). As for being 'allowed to play with others'......play as in bar hopping with my girlfriends? Yes, all the time as long as I behave. :) Okay, okay I know what he is asking......Professor has never told me I am not allowed to be spanked by others, but he does not have to. I don't need a rule or mandate to tell me it would not be okay (with Him or me). I have no interest at all in being spanked by anyone but *my* Dom. What we do, though it does have some play qualities to it, is not a game. We have a real relationship and are working on real issues to help me improve in my real life. That kind of work requires a foundation built on trust and compatibility; that does not happen over night. I have one Disciplinarian and do not need and/or want another.....not even for play. My Professor is capable enough to manage my discipline and still play with me. :)
Control........I make decisions all day long in my real life and never shy away from the task; but it is so very freeing to have some place with a certain some one where I do not have to bother with it. I have one choice to make......surrender the control.....simple enough. At times, I could be a brat and refuse to exchange that power just to watch the determined gaze in Professor's eyes gauge the challenge, and then take the control just because he can......but that is an entirely different topic. :) The control trigger for me is far more than him controlling me and/or my behavior......it is equally as intoxicating to watch his self control. Professor is a very disciplined man. He easily controls every detail of a scene and I love that. But, unlike some Doms I have seen, he is very very disciplined. He does not yell at me.....hasn't ever, and Lord knows I have given him plenty of reasons to. He will raise his voice to emphasize a point or get my attention but has never yelled at me. He completely understands that the volume of his voice is nowhere near as important as the tone and the context of what he is saying to me. I am a bit of a control freak in my day to day life......and at times that has gotten me into trouble with Professor because I have attempted to keep some sort of control in a session.....and failed miserably......he notices e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g and calls me on it.
Those are the three biggest triggers that I care to elaborate on at the moment.....lol. I have several more small, seemingly trivial acts, phrases, etc that I list as triggers. It is a complex mix but it all comes down to the detail, those subtle little nuances, the connection......if your partner knows or finds your triggers.....you are a lucky spankee. :)