Ever get in a mood like that?
Yep, I woke up in one today. Should really find out where to buy one of those t-shirts that has a huge yield sign on it & says: Caution I Say Stupid Things. Lol.
I know I am seeing Professor this coming weekend and I know I am going to be punished for a few ignorant lapses in judgement. And just in case I happen to forget that I am in trouble......that man keeps reminding me. **rolls my eyes** Funny.....he doesn't even have to say it to me......even reading it in text, knowing he typed it is enough to knot my stomach.
You would think my upcoming session would keep me relatively well behaved, right? Suppose I am complex. Some times knowing I am in trouble and going to be seeing Professor soon is more than enough to keep me behaving like an angel. Other times.....like now.....it has almost made me feel defiant. Like a 'who cares?' or 'if I am going to get spanked, I'll damn sure make it worth it.' Neither of those moods will get me far and I know it, but just can't knock it off.
I know, I know......stupid girl, are you crazy? Nope, not crazy.....just in a mood. A dont-really-care-to-behave-and-let's-see-how-far-Professor's-patience-stretches mood. And even knowing this mood wont end well for me if I act on it.......well that hasn't seemed to change my naughty lil mind either.
So now let's just hope my defiance doesn't dig me a deeper hole......oh and I should probably find a way to get rid of this defiant mood before I am standing in front of Professor on Friday. I am quite certain his opinion of my deliberate defiance toward him has not changed.
Damn, damn, damn.......I have got to have a good girl in me somewhere!
Do a cost-benefit analysis: what is the cost of being defiant? Oh, you have that figured out. What is the benefit? I'm not seeing one here, but maybe it is that you can keep seeing the Professor if you misbehave, but not if you straighten up and fly right. Am I completely off base?
ReplyDeleteLike almost every female you do of course have a good girl inside, it seems that it is just your impulsive and sometimes fiesty character that may hinder your progress. However you have found the person who seems to fit your requirements like a glove: and i look forward to reading your comments after your imminent meeting.
ReplyDeleteCorrection Man.
Susan.....completely off base dear. I will see Professor whether I misbehave or not. When I behave our sessions will just be more relaxed and fun. He is my Disciplinarian but also my friend so whether I am perfectly behaved or not, he is sort of stuck with me now. :)
ReplyDeleteCorrection Man.....I will certainly write after our session on Friday.....I always do.