This is obviously NOT an actual photograph of my Professor.
FYI......he's a lot less goofy, a lot more attractive and he juggles way more than 5 things at once. :)
But I was taught somewhere in a creative writing class that stock photos are awesome at helping your readers with visualization.
Now the important question........is anyone surprised that I remember a tip from ANY class I took my freshmen year in college??? Lol. I promise that is probably the only one......but, hey with what an insane 8 month long party my freshmen year was......remembering any tiny bit of info is impressive. (Note to self: Do NOT repeat this cycle in med school.)
Okay okay enough silliness. This is actually a serious post. A post that I have been debating this evening of whether or not I should even post it now. Not that I don't love sharing things with all of you, that's not it at all. I was hesitant because I know I will be seeing Professor for a session some time next week and I have added several entries to my punishment list in the last two weeks since I last saw him.......so I was hesitant to post this now because I didn't want him to see it and think I am trying to butter him up or win brownie points to get me a lighter punishment than I deserve. That is not at all a motivating factor in my writing this. I am writing every word in this post sincerely from my heart. So I am choosing to post this now but am emailing Professor a request to not look at my blog until after our session next week. That way he can be sure I had no naughty intentions when I wrote this and I genuinely mean what I am writing.
I've said things here on my blog at times like: 'I am lucky'...or...'he is amazing'...or...'saying he is good at this is an understatement'. I know full well what I mean when I say those things and I know WHY I say them but most of you probably don't........so I am going to fill you in and brag a little bit. :)
Like in the picture above.....Professor can juggle.....oh boy can he juggle! As obnoxious as I am at times the man could probably work a full time job just reining me in....LOL! He is normal.....wait, he doesn't like that term....hmmm....well I cant say 'average' or 'typical' or 'ordinary' because he truly is NOT any of those things. Hmmm.....going to have to think on a label that fits.....aside from the best and mine. :)
He is an educator, he is a husband, he is a father, he is a coach, he is an athlete, he is a big brother, he is a DIY fix stuff with power tools kind of guy, he is a researcher.........the man has dozens of titles in his 'real life.'
Within the spanking world he has just as many titles.........he is Dominant, he is a Disciplinarian, he is a Top, he is a Spanker, he is a friend, he is a mentor, he is a father figure, he is a teacher. Now in front of each of those labels......erase the 'a' and insert 'MY'. I will occasionally 'share' my Professor with select other naughties but aside from them I am possessive and protective and I decided quite a while ago that I was keeping this one. :) For a girl who can't stand most people....especially 'dominant' men....I became attached to Professor pretty darn quickly. You want to know why? Oh let me count the reasons.......!
First, outside of my marriage, most of the so-called dominant men I have met just.....weren't. What they WERE was loud, obnoxious, dare I say ignorant to what it truly means to lead by example? After reading Professor's profile and exchanging a couple weeks of emails and IMs I was fairly confident that this man was 'real.' Week #2 he called me for the first time, within the first minutes of that call my confidence was solidified. Professor is REAL. I'm not saying 'real' as in not a computer robot.....I am saying 'real' as in a Dominant man that doesn't have to 'try' to be dominant, he just IS. He was probably born this way; a natural leader. Not at all loud and obnoxious.......actually very quiet, calculated, intense. Being a naturally rebellious, stubborn, defy-all-authority, maintain control at all costs girl......it is almost hard to say this next statement but its the truth.....at the end of phone call #2 he had me. Completely unguarded, compliant.....submissive even.....hell by the end of that call I was putty in his hands......better still? He knew it.
Talk about overwhelmingly confusing for a girl like me.
I do NOT trust.......but then I did
I do NOT talk......but then I did
I do NOT care......but then I did
Professor would be a talented man if he simply juggled all of the facets of his life like career, marriage, kids, coaching, spanko kink, etc. BUT......the man even has SUB-CATEGORIES of those larger facets that he juggles too! Yeah, it's enough to make your head spin! Here.....allow me to clear it up a little bit:
Main Facet to Juggle: Spanko Relationship/Taming His Brat (who me? a brat? never!)
Sub-Categories of aforementioned Facet to Juggle: Behavior of Brat, Counseling Brat through family crisis, Encouraging Brat, Challenging Brat, Spanking Brat, Motivating Brat academically, Teaching Brat, Being a sounding board for Brat, Providing endless parenting advice for Brat and her baby-brat, Venting outlet for Brat and friend drama.....The list could go on & on.
Make sense? Good.....glad you're still with me and following the logic or lack there of.
I have NO idea how Professor does even half of what he manages to do. Somehow he does it......every day. Today for example......he was back at work for the first time in a week......which for Professor is pretty much a guarantee of backlogged work to keep him busy for a month....Lol. I wanted to talk to him because I hadn't in a week and I really kind of missed his voice. I told him that via IM and he told me to call him at his office......you don't have to tell me twice! :) I called.
Ready for this? 104 MINUTES LATER.......the call ended. I understand that talking by phone for hours is somewhat 'normal' when attributed to my gender.......BUT I am sooooo not the talkative girl chatting for hours with her girlfriend type. Professor is one of maybe two people in the world that I could probably talk to for hours or be perfectly content just being with in complete silence. We typically talk by phone at least once or twice a week but typical for Professor & I is a 15 minute call.......not over an hour and a half.....Lol.
I actually kind of felt bad when I hung up and realized how long we had talked because I know how much work he could have gotten done in that time frame. Then selfishly I told the guilt to screw off because I was really glad I had talked to him so long today because I kind of needed it. All kinds of different stressful issues with friends, family, work, moving, school, parenting, etc has been overwhelming me the last week and a half or so.........by mid-afternoon today, it all felt somehow not nearly as overwhelming. I felt calm.....happy. His voice typically does have a calming effect on me.......sort of like a mental reset button. Then having to analyze everything like I do I realized that our phone call today was broken into distinct sections.
First 10 minutes: Professor scolding me for my mouth and being confrontational AGAIN
10-25: Me asking Professor about his mini-vacation, his holiday, his wife & boys, his Aug vacation plans
25-104: Professor asking questions about my life, me answering and then venting...A LOT of venting
The majority of the call was me venting and using him for advice or another perspective. He is a MAN......meaning there are probably a million topics he would rather discuss than ugly bridesmaid gowns or pregnant crackheads......but he discussed those things anyway......you want to know why? Because it was important to me.....it mattered to his little girl so it mattered to him. The topics I brought up weren't urgent enough to postpone his work.......but I was. Making sure his little girl was okay was his priority. :) I'm not at all an overly emotional girl by any means.....unless you were present when I was 7 at the funeral for my dog then you have never seen me cry.....but when my analyzing this call today led me to that conclusion.....I got some unnatural burst of estrogen and I teared up.
I have been known to say my Professor is 'sweet' at times.....just don't repeat that to him. Today's phone call and what he said to me today, by listening to me regurgitate all the chaos & drama, comes pretty damn close to the top of the 'sweet' list......and there is quite a bit of competition for that top spot!
- When he called me on my drive home after I had to put my dog, Suzy, to sleep
- He attempted to coax, then gave up and just demanded I go in for oral surgery....lol
- Taking time from his family weekend to call and ask if I needed anything the day after surgery
- When I lost my wedding ring and he stopped on the interstate to check his bags for the ring and then asked if I needed him to come back for me
- Keeping me sane so I could help my brother after he was injured and then became very ill
- Promising to beat me senseless if I didn't study organic chemistry prior to my MCATs
Again......this list could go on and on and on. Professor has concocted this amazing recipe combining his overwhelming dominance, intelligence, strict & demanding personality with just a pinch of sweetness.......and the final product? Well geez c'mon girls.....you read my blog, you have got to know the answer to this one.........The Perfect Disciplinarian.........the man should write a book........oh wait, he has.........he should write a how-to-guide for disciplining loud, sassy, stubborn, defiant, obstinate Irish girls. :)
Even when I want everyone else to screw off and disappear, I will take his call. When I'm pissed off I know he will listen to me vent. When I feel defeated because I cant control certain people or situations, he encourages me. When I'm wrong, he is the first to tell me. When I'm naughty, he will absolutely spank me. When I procrastinate, he motivates me. When I'm scared, he says "Natalie Lynn get your ass in that dentists office now because I said so! Got it?"....LOL! :) He 'gets it'.....and more importantly, he 'gets me.'
When he and I first started talking and laying the foundation for what we described as a disciplinary spanking arrangement......I never would have imagined what I was truly getting. I don't have to edit what I say to him (other than keeping the cursing to a minimum).....I share my real life with him. I trust him completely. He shares a lot of his real life with me. I didn't get just a mentor and a Disciplinarian.......I got a whole lot more. I got a partner in correcting my behavior and redefining who I am. I got a father figure that I can look to for advice and truly look up to and admire. I got a friend.......though the relationship Professor & I have is not one of equality (meaning he is authority, I am not), I think we walk the line fairly well between discipline and friendship......he has very quickly become one of my closest and most valued friends.
I got a never-ending source of advice in parenting my son......thankfully my Professor has children so he is my 'normal gauge'......when my mini-me does something odd, before I freak out I call and ask 'Professor, is this normal?' He will usually laugh and then assure me my son is not 'broken.' For a girl who lost her mother only 2 days after becoming a mother myself.....lost her partner in parenting at year 2.....and never had a father to begin with......Professor being available & willing to be my 'normal gauge' in parenting is an amazing resource that I know I can trust.
I anticipated finding a disciplinarian.........I had actually found so much more. I know I am figuratively just as much of a pain in his ass as he is literally a pain in my ass :) But for some reason he decided to adopt me so now he is stuck with me. He signed on to help correct my behavior; but all of the other stuff he never had to help with and yet he chose to anyway. When it matters to me, it suddenly matters to him. :)
That, ladies and gentlemen, is why Professor's perfect and I am a *very* lucky & equally appreciative girl! :)