Saturday, August 4, 2012
Craving His Control
Yep....safe to say I am craving his control and feeling a little too free of discipline in his absence. Being a good girl, I told him so via email......and being the perfect Disciplinarian he is, he was happy to oblige me with long-distance discipline.
Yeah, aside from the fact that I seemed clueless to the fact that Professor is an educator! So any guesses on what my 'connecting activities' consist of? I now have an essay to write....perhaps I should have spelled out what I wanted instead of leaving it to his creative mind? Lol.....yeah right, he is in control.....even from a distance.
All I am saying is be careful what you wish for ladies!
I think regardless of how much I whine about writing, that assignment along with the two other things he insisted on, will do exactly what I had asked for. I will feel more connected to him. I will be able to feel his control and that is exactly what I needed right now.
I actually really do enjoy feeling his control over me even when we are not together. Strange? Maybe to some people, but for me, I love it. I smile at different times throughout my day because I can feel his hold on me. I smile driving the speed limit, because it is Professor who insists on it. When I go to get my hair done and refuse to let my hairdresser chop it off, I smile because I know it is Professor who decided I'm not to cut it. His power and control over me far transcends our time physically together. My language, patience, driving......all had been altered by Him.....and I love to feel his grasp on me, because I am *His*.
I am more than happy being *His*. Just that thought can calm me as much as his voice does.
No person seeks to control what they do not truly care for. We tend to value control over what we seek to protect.....our family, our career, our life. So I suppose his control is also some sort of reassurance to me.
Regardless of the all of the 'why'......I felt disconnected and missed feeling Professor's firm hold on me and my behavior. I asked him for increased control and he provided that for me. :) Even 'long-distance discipline' is possible with that man inside of my head.