Sunday, August 12, 2012
I read other blogs here in my spare time and one of my regular reads is the blog written by playfullilbrat. Reading her last post and seeing her frustration, again, about her Dom not communicating made me grateful that I don't have this problem with Professor. She had a serious issue and is now just left to wonder if his silence is because of a hectic schedule in his real life or if he is intentionally ignoring her. That would drive me crazy.
Just last week, actually, I did something incredibly stupid and emailed Professor about it then waited for his reply. Day #2 without a response from him, I let those irrational lil abandonment fears kick in and worried that maybe the delay in response was intentional because I had upset him. Rationally, of course, I know better. I know Professor is a busy man and has a life. I also know that I have not ever had to guess where I stand with him. He will tell me when he is displeased or if I am in trouble for something, he doesn't play the head games. I can typically guarantee myself that Professor is busy if I'm not getting immediate responses from him. This open and honest concept seems self-explanatory to me; so why, I wonder, do some Doms insist on the game playing?
The silent treatment game.......what good could possibly come of this tactic? Making her worry and guess is just going to upset her, so why do it? I've heard the tactic defense of: "she wants attention so I wont give it to her & reinforce bad behavior." I'm just not sure I follow this logic. If she has done something wrong, don't you think you should discuss it rather than play psychological head games with her? If you have her respect, you shouldn't have to ignore her to get your point across. Open communication in any relationship is imperative; but in a D/s relationship, it's crucial. Withholding communication from your partner isn't going to change her behavior long term, but it will likely strain her trust in you and create resentment and/or a hesitancy of admitting her mistakes to you, for fear you may ignore her. Communication or the lack there of shouldn't be used as a weapon in a relationship.