Backlash

07/17/2013

Wow! Talk about jumping from the skillet into the flames.  :)  I've got to be extremely loved here.  

I posted earlier in this week about my Dom's choice & my proud acceptance of receiving His collar. Since just posting that to this blog a couple of days ago, I have received numerous comments and personal emails from friends, blog followers, complete strangers, lurkers and Blogger buddies. Many have been positive......some have been outright negative......but the majority have been "just checking" sort of messages. I wanted to clear this up and reassure all of you who truly care for me..........I AM OKAY..........I promise, I really am a happy girl. I know that to most anyone in my life, I am the LAST girl to strike you as submissive, so maybe my "His Collar" post truly confused you. Read On:

I mentioned in that post, but perhaps didn't specify enough to put your minds at ease, that D/s & spanking is "our thing".......not the full spectrum of BDSM. Daddy is my disciplinarian, so naturally he does punish me. Obviously, I am a pain slut, so many of my true punishments may be more intense than most girls could tolerate......a physical pain threshold is as individual as the parties testing it. Though he can & will use restraints, they are not our "norm." We have many implements, but a whip is not one of them. Post-punishment I will have *His* marks on my body, but nothing permanent, damaging or extensive. 

I am *not* a slave. 

Daddy is *not* a Master. 

Though he has caused me minimal embarrassment or blushing by scolding me in public when I've been naughty, my Dom does not humiliate or degrade me in any way. We both enjoy the intensity of the complete power exchange of our Dom/sub relationship, and though we each have interest in other scenes/scenarios more in the BDSM realm, neither of us are into the extremely dark aspects of the kink. Not at all judging anyone else, it is just simply not "our thing."

Though our relationship is not one of equality, by choice, my Dom does very much respect my opinion. In fact, I'd venture to say that his focus is always what is in my best interests (physically, emotionally, psychologically). He loves me and takes amazing care of me and is protective of me as if I were truly his daughter. I, too, love him, admire him, respect him and am fiercely protective of him. Biology to me is irrelevant........This man *IS* my father. 

I do attend spanking parties or events in the city & have met some amazing friends at them. Most often, if a girl is not accompanied by her Dom & has no symbol of her relationship.......she can be and is approached by unattached Doms/Tops who want to play & spank random girls. I have no problem simply saying "No".......and in fact, attending parties last year I did just that. It is however much easier and less annoying not to be approached at all........and I voiced this to my Daddy. 

I also seem to struggle with feeling "disconnected" or "unanchored" when I am geographically separated from my Dom. We do not live with one another or see each other every day, but I prefer distance between us to not exceed 50 miles.  :)  I know that probably sounds ludicrous, but I genuinely do feel "farther apart" on an emotional level when we are separated by great distances. When I was in the midwest the first several months of this year for example.......I was miserable. When Daddy travels for work........I miss him terribly. When he takes his annual family vacation for 3 weeks each summer........I feel adrift. I can't even really explain my apprehension because I understand it is completely irrational.......I simply know I feel it and hate it.

Daddy chose to collar me knowing it was practically a mutual agreement as we had discussed it. It is not as if at our first meeting he chose to collar me.......I likely would have laughed. Actually, prior to this, I have *never* been collared & my Dom has not ever collared another girl. Prior to now, I was actually not only opposed to but offended by the notion. I am not a slave, I do not want a Master. I had always somehow equated a collar with the darker extremes of BDSM and it did not interest me. Now, however, I truly am excited about receiving my collar. I am humbled and extremely proud to know Daddy wants me to wear *His* collar. 

I suppose the simplest way to explain this to everyone who was legitimately concerned is this:

In the vanilla world, a wedding ring is accepted as an outward symbol of a loving & committed relationship, rendering the parties who wear them as "off limits." In our world, D/s DD & BDSM, a collar is seen as that outward symbol of a loving & committed relationship, rendering the girl wearing it as "off limits" without the consent of her Dom. 

Daddy has a wife & a family & a very public career........so he is not able to accompany me to every event or party I may choose to request permission to attend. He will accompany me to some, but realistically he can not always be there with me. That is also true of my day to day life.......he can not always be there when I want him with me. *His* collar CAN be. Whether it is on my neck or on my dresser, it will *always* be with me as a symbol of what we share, an extension of my Dom & his restraint over me, a physical symbol to those in our lifestyle that I am 'owned', a loving & reassuring reminder to me of just how much I really mean to my Daddy.  :)  I truly smile just thinking about it. 

I will not wear my collar every day........it will not be on my neck at work, grocery shopping, coaching my son's soccer, cleaning my house, running to the bank, at the gym, etc. I always know that I am *His* property and I don't need a reminder of that every day.......but there are specific times that this collar is needed. It will make scene parties & events much more enjoyable as I wont have to deal with numerous, random requests to play from spank-happy Tops/Doms. It is a simple yet ornate & functional piece of "jewelry" that I can wear to sessions when I am playing with my Dom. It is also a very visible & tangible item I will have on days when I am struggling with my submission or feeling particularly disconnected from my Daddy. For all of the aforementioned reasons..........I L-O-V-E this idea & am anxious for it to arrive. 

I have always loved the possessive and ownership aspects of TTWD. I am a natural born spanko girl so I could obviously get into a well-crafted spanking scene without it.........but I truly prefer spanking when it is accompanied by the possession. Belonging to the man who is spanking you makes the experience far more emotionally intense. It also connects us on our own level, rendering me completely helpless to his mind fuck. It is because I truly belong to this man that he can truly feel disappointment in me when I fail and pride in me when I succeed. Belonging to him is a very safe & reassuring feeling. I have *not* ever even ONE time needed a safeword because physically he can test me & push my limits without ever going too far......he can read me & knows what I need without me ever saying it......we're simply connected on a deeper level. I love when he calls me "My daughter", "Mine", "My little girl", "My brat"...........I smile every day knowing that I belong to Him. No man chooses to 'own', possess or claim anything that he doesn't truly care about. Having my Daddy call me his own means the world to me. Knowing that he has chosen to visibly show his ownership of me & my commitment to him to the rest of the world makes me feel incredibly proud, incredibly loved, incredibly safe, protected, valued. 

I promise you all.......Daddy placing *His* collar on me is a *very* good thing & I am truly very happy, loved & feel extremely proud & lucky to belong to this amazing man.  :)