Finally.....thank God......my oldest brother is home from Iraq (again). This deployment has sucked......majorly. My oldest brother is my best friend in the world and we have always been very close. He is a career military man and actually introduced me to my husband, his best friend and battle buddy. This has worked great in the fact that I am always close to my brother, having my hubby & I stationed at the same installation. It has also made things tough at times.....two goodbye's, two men sent off to war at the same time, two worries every time CNN scrolls a service member's death across the bottom of the screen. Finally......6 months after my husband returned (injured but alive).....my big brother is home safely. :)
After doing the typical rounds of stopping in to see mom, our aunt, our grandmother......we drop his bags off at our house and all went out with our other brother and several close friends to a favorite bar of ours to celebrate. The night was so much fun.....well the first half. The boys were singing karaoke, we were all dancing, and of course drinking.......a lot of drinking.
At about 11:30pm the boys were again singing with one another....the whole group together again.....and my best girlfriend since like 5th grade, Kristina (my brother's girlfriend since high school) & I were sitting at the bar joking with one another and having another round of drinks. I, of course, had my fav.....Long Island Iced Tea. I started to feel a little 'off'.....couldn't put my finger on it and attributed it to my liquor dinner.....but excused myself to go to the bathroom and splash cool water on my face. Apparently I wasn't the only one who noticed I was 'off'......Kristina had as well, and my brother who was 30ft away was concerned by the way I walked to the bathroom, and protectively followed suit.
I can not tell you what happened next.....all I know is by the time my big brother and Kristina entered the restroom, literally a minute behind me, they found me on the floor. She ran for my husband and to call for help.....my brother scooped my limp body up into his arms and ran me outside. I awoke a day later in a hospital.....feeling like my chest had been pummeled with a jack hammer.....it hurt to even breath. I found out later, this uniquely torturous feeling was caused by my heart being restarted with a defibrillator.
My husband and my brothers did not leave my side for the 3 days I was in the cardiac unit of the hospital. The day I was strong enough to be discharged, my doctor came in to talk things over with me. He started with, "You are very lucky." and I knew he was serious. I am a nurse and had seen the print outs of my rhythm upon arrival to the ER.....I was beyond lucky. "Your girlfriend told us the drinks you had been having that night Natalie, and after googling it and reading that the drink had 8 shots of alcohol in each drink it was no wonder you slipped into an unsustainable rhythm and eventually a full arrest. The medication you are on will not work if you inundate your body with alcohol Natalie. You're a nurse, you know better." He scolded.
I am a nurse at this hospital and know much of the staff, so the formalities were not necessary. "Look Bill, I know....I am not ignorant. It wasn't a concern for me. I hadn't taken my medication." My husband and older brother both at the foot of my hospital bed, listening intently. "Natalie it does not matter. The medication is in your system, missing one pill does not give you the free and clear to drink that much alcohol." He continued his lecturing. I sighed and replied to him, "Bill I am not stupid. I haven't even taken my pills in almost a month. It wasn't in my system. So the alcohol mixing with my meds was not the issue." He looked almost shocked at me and took a moment before replying. "Why Natalie? I have only been your cardiologist for 4 years now but I know you've been on this medication for your entire life. I hadn't stopped prescribing it; why would you take yourself off of it? I know we make horrible patients being doctors and nurses, but Natalie you can not self-diagnose or self-treat. Why didn't you discuss this with me? Now this incident is making more sense to me. What happened is clear. Do you realize how close you came to killing yourself??? At 22, you damn near died." He shook his head at me in disbelief.
I spoke again, "I know Bill. I know. It was stupid. I'll stop treating myself. Thank you." He smiled and patted my hand. "I'll see you next week for a follow up Natalie. We will talk then. Go home. You're fine to resume your usual activities immediately if you'd like to but no excessive drinking. For your sake, please Natalie, moderation is key here." I smiled, "Thanks again Bill."
As he walked out, I somehow realized my mind had been absent to the presence of the two, now very angry, military men at the foot of my bed......glaring at me. I had been so ready to leave to this hospital until about 30 seconds ago......now I wanted to stay.....forever.....we at least have security here to protect me, though I'm not certain our security would be much match for these boys. I was screwed and I knew it. I tried to look as if I were reading my discharge papers, anything to avoid making eye contact with them.
"A month?" My brother's voice startling me. "Are you fucking kidding me??? A month?" He *never* swears at me, and very rarely even around me. I looked up at him, and the look on his face was a compatible match to the tone in his voice. "Not a whole month. More like 23 days but who is counting." My brother just glared at me. My husband had yet to say anything to me, but his turning to walk out of the room after that comment told me he was furious right now. I was so scared. They were pissed. And we were all leaving together for the drive home in a few short minutes.
The entire 20 minute drive home was quiet.....eerily quiet. Typically when the three of us are together, it is non-stop chatter and light-hearted conversation......but now......not one single word. Finally as we pulled in the driveway, my brother broke the silence. "Kristina and I are going to her dad's house for dinner and then planned to go shoot some pool, do you want to meet us out there?" I didn't have a chance to respond, my husband's reply immediately knotted my stomach. "No, have a good time. We will see you later tonight when you get back. Your sister and I need to have a talk." I knew exactly what that statement meant, and actually 'talking' was likely not going to be involved. I also knew my brother knew what that statement meant and judging by the look on his face, he was pleased.
I went right to our bedroom and lied on the bed while the boys chatted a few minutes on the porch and my husband let the pups out into the backyard. I heard a car door and knew my brother was now leaving and my husband would soon be joining me in our room. I buried my face in his pillow and waited.
I felt him sit down on the bed next to me and his strong hand rubbing my back, running his fingers through my hair, massaging my neck. "We need to talk." His voice firm but no where near the angry, infuriated tone I had expected. I sat up and crawled into his lap and rested my head to his chest as he started speaking again. "Do you have any idea what you mean to me? I was scared baby, for the first time in my life, truly scared. Our anniversary is just days away and I thought I was going to lose you Natalie. Do you have any idea how helpless I felt, seeing paramedics perform CPR on my wife, watching you lie in that bed with all those tubes and wires hooked up to you. That fear....the fear of losing you....was paralyzing. But what you said to Dr. Shelton ripped a whole in my heart. This did not have to happen and it was caused by you. Do you have any idea the pain that thought inflicted? To know not only could I have lost you, but that it was your decisions that would have taken you from me?" I squeezed him tightly and buried my face at the base of his neck and sobbed. "I'm so sorry. I know it was stupid. I just hate taking those pills and it has been years since I have had any problems at all so I thought I didn't need them anymore honey. I had no idea this would happen, Im sorry I scared you. I promise I'll take the medicine from now on. Im sorry."
He brushed the hair from in front of my face and tucked it behind my ears, then tucked his hand beneath my chin and raised my face to look into my eyes. "You know you need that medicine and you know you can not treat yourself. I know you are sorry. I know you will take the pills.....I promise you will take those pills if I had to poke them into you every morning. None of that concerns me now. What does is hearing you say you dont think you need them. You obviously are not understanding the gravity of this situation Lynn. What you think is nowhere near as important as what we know. We know you have to take them, we know you refused to and we know that refusal damn near killed you Natalie Lynn. And I know that I'm going to make sure you know how important this is to me. You are my world Natalie. I would kill anyone who ever tried to hurt you, and I will not allow you to hurt yourself. Clear?" His words aching my heart and the look on his face is unmistakable disappointment. I simply nod my head as he lifts me to my feet.
"I am going to give you three reasons that make what you did an extremely serious offense." He scolds as he lowers my panties and pulls me down across his waiting lap. "One.....you have always had to take this medication and you know you're very life depends on it." SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK His hand connecting with my bared bottom as he continues. "Two.....we have discussed this multiple times and I told you that you will take your medication as prescribed until the doctor, not you, the doctor decides different." SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK "Three......you promised me that you would." SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK "So this entire incident could have been prevented but you chose to be stubborn Natalie Lynn. You chose to disregard your doctor's advice, you chose to disobey me and you chose to break your promise to me. I wont accept defiance or disobedience out of my wife and I will never overlook her arrogance risking her life." SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK His hand falling again and again, hard, covering my bottom as I lay there suddenly realizing that above everything else, I broke a promise to my husband. That hurt far worse than any spanking he could administer.
He had to have read my mind at that moment and decided to challenge that theory. The swats stopped for a moment and he leaned and reached forward, opening the drawer to the night stand and retrieved my hairbrush. I instinctively tried to squirm my way free. I hate this brush and it ignites an inferno on my bottom with just a few dozen swats, and he never stops at a few dozen swats.
He wrapped his left leg over the back of both of mine so I was secured in a leg lock and could not escape. Then he took my wrist in his left hand and pinned it to the small of my back as his right arm began its assault with that brush on my bottom. CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK. The fell fast and they fell hard.....very very hard. "Im sorrryyyy." I squealed and struggled to break free, though I knew it was a futile fight. He is much bigger than I am and far stronger. "I know you're sorry.....but I know you will be even more sorry by the time I am finished with you little girl." CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK
I finally lay limp across his lap as he continued to paddle my bottom with that awful brush. CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK Then, just as I thought I had no fight left in me, he turned his attention to my upper thighs. The pain was unreal. He tightened his grip on my wrist and swung that brush again and again making me cry out every time it connected. It hurt so bad and I again, struggled to break free and dodge the swats covering my thighs. After concentrating a few solid minutes on my thighs, he stopped and placed the brush back into the drawer and lifted me to my feet. "Corner" I looked up at him through my puffy eyes, hoping he would take me in his arms and hold me, I got my answer quickly in the form of a few rapid swats to my right thigh and a commanding, "NOW LYNN." I rushed over to the corner, his refusal of a hug starting my tears streaming down my cheeks again as I stood pressing my nose to the wall.
"Come here." I turned and dragged my feet, slowly making my way across the room to him. His towering frame beside our bed, arms crossed over his chest, eyes narrowing at me in my slow approach. I stopped just a foot short of him and stood staring at the floor, my hands clasped in front of me. "Up, hands underneath of you." I crawled up onto the bed and draped myself over the pillows, propping my bottom up and tucking my hands beneath me as I turn my head to face away from him so I dont see it coming. I can not however escape the sounds and my body tightens as I hear him unbuckling his belt and pulling it free from his waist. "You have not ever escaped a belt whipping for disobeying me, you aren't about to start now." His voice steely, resolved, all business.
I closed my eyes as the first swat landed across my bottom. SWAT He is very methodical in the way he straps me. Each stinging swat with purpose, with force. Landing one right after the next in quick succession. SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT I cried into the blankets as he continued to whip every inch of my bottom and thighs with his belt. Each swat seemed to fall harder than the last. He has never spanked me angry, and I knew by the tone in his voice that he was not angry now, but he was scared.....very scared and equally determined to teach me a lesson. The swats continued to rain down several more minutes before he finally dropped the belt onto the floor and pulled me up from the bed.
"Look at me" his voice still firm. I slowly tilted my head upward to meet his gaze, as I fought the urge to reach back and rub the sting out of my bottom. "23 days?" his jaw clenched as he asked. I swallowed hard, "yes Sir." I whispered. "I gave you three reasons you should have taken that pill every one of those days but you chose not to. You have missed a day or two before and I have punished you for it. You have been paddled, I have whipped your bottom with my belt, you have been caned.......each time you have assured me it will be the last time we will have to address it. Now 23 days??? You need to say nothing Natalie Lynn, I will make the promise this time.....this *will* be the last time we ever have to discuss this issue and that my love is a promise I will keep." His eyes narrowed as he finished speaking and then turned away from me and walked to our closet.
I stood still, frozen still and watched him hesitantly as he returned from the closet carrying the implement I hate the most, the double looped strap. My eyes immediately shot to the floor, I didn't want to see it. I knew he was serious.....beyond serious. This implement is typically used for only a small handful of offenses.....only serious offenses......for a more severe session.....when he thinks I've listened to nothing else, he will use this implement. And this man never does anything half-heartedly.....ever.
"Position" he barked. I tried to calm my breathing as I moved into position. My face in my hands, feet shoulder width apart, bent over the side of our bed, bottom pushed out. My heart sunk at his next direction, "I gave you three reasons you should have taken that medicine each of the 23 you chose not to Lynn. 3 times 23 is 69. I am going to give you 69 with this loop and if you move out of position or reach back even once, we will start again at 1. I dont care if we are at 65.....show me the slightest hint of defiance and we will begin again. Do you understand me?" My mind is swimming in panic, my bottom already on fire, my heart heavy with regret. "Yes Sir." I mumbled and again bury my face in my hands. "I know you're scared, and you should be. These will not be light swats. This is serious Natalie Lynn, as serious as it gets. I love you more than life itself and I will not allow you to hurt my wife. Clear?" I swiped a tear away from my eye as I looked back at him briefly, making eye contact, hoping he could see the genuine remorse on my face as I answered him, "Yes Sir." His eyes softening briefly in acceptance of my submission and then just as quickly, returned to that steely, grim, determined stare.
WHACK That first stroke bit into my upper thigh and the burn was instantaneous. This implement is horribly effective but remarkably quiet. WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK He did not scold me as he whipped me, he didn't have to, I was replaying his words over and over in my own head while trying desperately to remain still. The force he put behind each stroke took my breath away. WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK As much as I hated this implement, I knew he hated to have to punish me like this. He would much rather spank me to spank me, just because it is something we enjoy, the intimacy of a domestic discipline relationship compares to nothing I ever experienced in a vanilla romance. When I gave him reason....and this was more than a damn good reason.....to truly punish me, he may not like to do it but he would not shy away from the task. WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK He could and would deliver an extremely effective punishment spanking to teach me a lesson when my actions put him in that position. And he would not stop until he was certain that I 'got it.' My bottom was on fire, I could feel the angry welts raising after each stroke from this damn loop. My fists were tangled in the blankets, gripping them with so much force my knuckles were white. Each stroke brought a yelp out of me but I stayed still, despite my urge to flee.
WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK The burn was intensifying and he continued to apply the swats leaving barely a second between them, giving me no time to prepare for the next, determined to get his point across. I couldn't contain my cries as he applied the last of my whipping with substantially more force behind each swat and concentrating them on my sit spots and upper thighs. WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK
Only after I heard the loop hit the floor did my knees give out. I lay dangling off the side of our bed, crying into the blankets. He lifted me up and pulled me over his lap and firmly swatted my aching bottom with his hand for a few minutes while I cried it out. Then gently massaged lotion into the angry skin with his right hand while his left rubbed my back. I lay there, completely exhausted, emotionally spent, and physically drained. He lifted me up and laid back on our bed, pulling me onto his chest and kissing my forehead as he stroked my hair and his touch quieted my sobs. He said nothing, and neither did I. We didnt need to.......we were completely in sync in thought and raw emotion. We just laid there, holding each other, loving each other.......thankful we still had each other and intent on keeping it that way for a very long time.
**That punishment was probably one of the most effective, and likely as much because of the emotional seriousness as the physical severity. And my Marine did keep his promise, and I mine. My heart meds were not the topic of even one more punishment session for the two of us. :) **