Naughty Irish Imp

Naughty Irish Imp

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Road Trip (part #1)


Glancing over, I see him sleeping in the passenger seat. "Finally" I sigh. We have been driving more than 7 hours now and though Ive been behind the wheel the last 2 hours, Ive had to drive 'appropriately' (obviously his definition of the word, not mine). Which means I've been crawling along on I64 at 75mph.....which means Im stuck in this car even longer.....which means I am frustrated and think Im going to lose my mind long before our destination. We are on a road trip planning to stop at several places over the next 10 days.....his favorite duty station to visit best friends at Marine Security Guard Battalion down at Quantico, to see my best friend Angel & her husband and the kids down at their new station in NC, then down to Ocala so he can walk his baby sister down the aisle. We decided not to fly so we could enjoy this 'bonding experience' with one another and finally spend some uninterrupted time together. We have been married just over a year now but between my working and school keeping me preoccupied 16 hours a day to his work and deployment keeping him just as busy, we havent had alot of time for just 'us' we have it. Be careful what you wish for. :)
I decide for my sanity, I can atleast make up some time while he is sound asleep and drive a bit more 'Natalie-like'. Driving at much more 'appropriate' speeds for my liking now, 95mph, as I pass every vehicle that has passed us in the last half hour or so. My cell phone comes alive and I grab it from the console, thankful Ive made it back to a point where we have reception. It is my girlfriend Kristina, who is back home in IL house-sitting for us and watching our 4-legged children.
I turn the ringer down to vibrate only so our chat wont wake the warden. :) She & I continue to text back and forth for 20mins or so. Im trying to type a lengthy response to her question about our scheduled stops and I guess I somehow forgot I was also operating a vehicle traveling close to triple-digit speeds at this time. Im preoccupied in my message when his voice startles me. "Pull over Lynn." He knows me a little too well and thankfully had placed his hand on the steering wheel prior to speaking, knowing his voice would likely scare me into jerking the wheel. Thank God for small miracles.
I drop my cell phone and grab the wheel as he steadies it from my quick jerk. "Honey I thought you were sleeping." I try to sound confident as I speak. "I can see that. Pull over." his voice quiet but firm. I decide he must be ready to drive again and he is probably a bit irritated by my texting while driving. It is a discussion we have had numerous times. My husband is 10yrs older than I am so I have tried several times, unsuccessfully, to convince him that my age works in my favor in this instance. While cell phones were a staple in his adult life, they were in my teenage I learned to drive while texting. Im an excellent multi-tasker so it is perfectly safe. Im guessing the fact that if he hadnt had a hold on the wheel, his voice making me jerk the wheel would have likely ended with us in a heap of twisted metal.....yeah this is probably not the right time for the "Honey it is safe" argument. I pull over onto the shoulder and slide the seat back so he can drive.....the man is half a foot taller than I am.
He opens the door and steps out of the car and then walks around to my side of the car and opens the door. Im not stupid enough to get out of the car with him right now.....I know that tone of voice a little too well now. I start to crawl over the console to get into the passenger seat praying he will just get in the car and be content with driving. No such luck. "Lynn." He says just one very telling word. I freeze, half straddling the console and look back at him trying to look and sound innocent, "Yes baby? I thought you wanted to drive?" Not sure why I even try this cutesy stuff anymore, dont think it has ever worked in my favor. "" Now only two words.....and just as unnerving as the first.
I crawl out of the car and look up at him pleadingly. "Honey Im sorry. Kristina had an important question, it couldnt wait. I promise I was still watching the road." He takes my wrist in his hand and closes the door as we walk toward the back of the car. He sets my hands on the bumper and speaks again, "Keep your hands right there and dont move." I barely hear his words, my mind more intent on listening to that sickening sound Im certain is him removing his belt. "Jason please dont. Not here. Ill never forgive you if you spank me now. People will see us. please." my voice sharing my panic. "Knock it off Natalie. Besides, we are in West Virginia.....these people are all hillbillies which means they spank their wives too." His words somehow not at all reassuring. I sigh and hang my head, resigning myself to this cruel fate, knowing better than to argue with him right now, his mind is made up and I know arguing is a lost cause that would likely only make it worse for me.
CRAAACK! The first swat landing across my bottom and the sound like a gunshot making me jump. I had been slightly reassured that he atleast wasnt taking my shorts down and spanking my bare bottom, but that reassurance is gone as I feel the sting, realizing it is pretty darn close to the same jean shorts offering me very little protection. He isnt lecturing as he continues his unforgiving assault on my bottom. Im struggling to stay still as I think that Old Navy *really* needs to make jeans with reinforced denim in the bottom to protect their loyal customers bottoms from their neanderthal husbands when they're naughty. Oh the thoughts that run through a girl's mind when he bottom is being spanked. :)
CRAAACK CRAAACK CRAAACK CRAAACK CRAAACK CRAAACK.......half a dozen very brisk swats landing on my upper thighs, just beyond the protection of my shorts. " Im sorrryyyy" I squeak as I shift back and forth from foot to foot trying to escape his determined strapping as my mind decides I'm wearing capris from now on. "You know better Natalie Lynn. Texting while driving is stupid. If it cant wait then you pull over. Clear?" He asks while swinging his belt again and again. "Ok ok I promisssee. Im sorrrryyyy." I answer while doing some strange little dance on the side of the interstate.
CRAAACKK CRAAACK CRAAACKKK CRAAACKK. Several more well-placed swats finding their mark as he speaks again. "When you're texting while driving you arent looking at the road.....your reaction time is decreased. What if someone infront of you hit the brakes Lynn? What if an animal ran out infront of us?" I know these questions are rhetorical so I dont reply. My breathing as rapid as the constant barrage of stinging swats raining down on my bottom and thighs. "We have discussed this several times Lynn. You dont learn easily, do you? My opinion on the matter has not changed little girl. How many times do I have to tell you, my wife will not kill herself by texting while she is driving."
"Im sorrryyyy. I wont do it again. Im sorrryyyy Sir, pleassseee." I whimper and plea as he continues strapping my sore bottom. Adding one layer of criss-crossing welts after another. CRAAACCKKK CRAAACCCKKK CRAAACCCKKK CRAAAACCCKKK CRAAACCCKKKK CRAAACCCKKK CRAAACCCKKK CRAAACCCKKK CRAAACCCKKK CRAAACCCKKK CRRAAACCCCKKKK CRRRAAACCCCKKKK. Another dozen swats pepper my thighs and Im fighting the urge to reach back to protect my bottom and hold back my tears as another car passes and honks its horn seemingly approving of my predicament. He stops and I remain still, steadying my breathing as I hear him returning his belt to his waist. My bottom on fire......angry red welts lovingly placed on every inch of my bottom and upper thighs.
"Come here Natalie Lynn." his voice still firm as I turn to find him in the ditch, his gerber tool in his hand with the serated blade out. "Yes Sir?" I look up hesitantly. He reaches his hand out to me, offering me the blade as he speaks, "Take this. I want you to cut 3 switches and I promise if they arent suitable, Ill do it myself and you'll get your bare bottom switched right here on the side of the interstate rather than in our hotel later." I take the knife from his hand and look up at him, a mixture of confusion and anxiety on my face. "Sirrr? I think getting strapped infront of all these people is more than enough for my small mistake???" I speak, my voice cracking. "You're not the one who determines what more than enough is young lady, are you?" He snaps back at me. He *hates* when I question him or his decisions regarding my discipline. "No Sir." I whisper as I hang my head. "I gave you a good belt whipping for your ignorant texting and driving, these switches are for our discussion tonight about your choice to drive damn near 100mph when you thought I was sleeping. Clear? Or would you prefer we have this talk now little girl?" I look up at him, hoping to see some sign of softening, it is not there and I quickly turn my face away from him as I speak, "No Sir. Later is fine." He plants a firm SWAAATT on my bottom, his large hand also catching my upper thigh. I jump and cringe at the sharp pain his swat causes on my well-punished bottom.
I *hate* being forced to cut my own switch and most of the time I'll select the puniest little switches I can find but the threat of him doing it himself and switching me right here, bare bottom, on the side of the road is a pretty darn good deterrent. I select 3 that he finds suitable and hand them to him. He kisses my forehead and swats my bottom again with his heavy hand as he places the switches in the trunk.
He walks me to the passenger door and opens it for me, then says "Wait a minute." He walks back to the trunk as I stand waiting curiously. He returns with a huge smile on his face and sits my travel pillow in the seat then kisses me again and says, "Ok, now you can sit down." I glare at him, irritated but love this man's smile and cant help but soften and smile back as I wrap my arms around his waist and squeeze him in a tight hug. He closes my door but then quickly re-opens it. "Hand me your phone." I look up at him and see the seriousness returning to his face as he senses I might argue with him. I sigh and hand him my cell phone. "Good girl." he closes my door and walks back to the trunk and places my phone inside before getting into the driver's seat. He leans over to kiss me again. I return his kiss and say, "Honey that probably isnt safe. Cell phones are supposed to be for emergencies." He chuckles at me and then replies as he sits his hand on my upper thigh, "Well luckily for you Mrs Muse, you're married to a Marine Corps sniper scout....we are the country's 9-1-1. And luckily for me, Im married to a nurse. So I think we will be fine even if any emergency arises ma'am." I roll my eyes and place my hand on top of his, now massaging my thigh lovingly. "And besides, this trip is for us to be together before the next can text your girlfriends in 10 days." I sigh and give him a half-hearted, "Yes Sir." and smile as he pulls away. God, I love this man. :)

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