Restraints

I suppose there are several different types of restraints that could be used within the confines of a DD or D/s relationship. Obviously the most common is self-restraint and relatively self explanatory. The other two forms of restraint, the being restrained by someone other than yourself, most likely your Top.....that's what I am exploring the topic of in the post.

Mental restraint......I actually almost depend on it, and always during a session. Read through some of my sessions, note I say things like "I know better" or "I'm not stupid".......the 'knowing better' is a form of the restraint this man has on me. Sort of unspoken rules between us.....by that I mean, Professor has never had to tell me "Dont you dare flip me off, or else".....I already know better. He is inside of my head......and not only in session or in person......even his voice by phone can put me into that subspace. My submission is his and his alone. I am emotionally vulnerable with him, small, timid even........I achieve great satisfaction from pleasing him.  His voice, his body language, his very presence........straight to subspace and the use of mental restraints has, thus far, always yielded the desired results. I've yet to deliberately defy him, refuse to stay in position, been blatantly disrespectful........his restraints thus far have been amazingly effective and I both love and hate it.

Physical restraints.......this is the topic I'm more actively analyzing at the moment. It is not something I have ever allowed. Funny right.......I am the submissive one in the relationship and say I have not 'allowed' it. My Marine did threaten to use them after being hit by a candle that had been thrown at him when I was refusing to comply and stay in position while being punished. The threat worked and I stopped. Topic closed. Well until now. Professor and I have briefly discussed the use of them the past week or so. On one hand, I am slightly intrigued......and it pulls at my inner submissive core. On the other hand......my rational and control-freak type A personality says 'no freaking way is that happening'. My control issues have caused many issues for me in life and actually still do quite often. I cant seem to trust other people and I will hold onto the control at all costs. Same topic.....two very different reactions. Both equally intense. Both spinning wildly inside of my head. Then I try to interpret the fear associated with my control-freak reaction to the subject.......what am I afraid of? Obviously my actual physical safety is nowhere on the radar.......I know I can completely trust this man. My fear......this by the way is not an emotion I have ever dealt with well.......this fear is rooted in my need for control. Makes very little sense to think if I am not blindfolded or physically restrained then I am in control of a session.....crazy right, I clearly am not. But perhaps it is an illusion I hold onto so I dont have to admit that it is okay to give up control. My submissive core loves that power exchange, is pleased to please by submission, loves reacting to my Top and making no decision in scene myself. But the rational me.....the over-analyzer.....the stubborn, always in control......independent girl.......she is standing firm on the 'no freaking way is that happening.' So we seem to be at a deadlock and ironically enough, this will take all of the control from me.......it will put me in a check-mate position and make me unable to make a decision either way. Which I suppose means the person who will make this decision of if and when we will utilize physical restraints, well that person will be my Professor. Actually somewhat reassuring and pointing out again that I really dont have much of a decision to make in the first place, my opinions are valued and solicited at times, but the final decision does not ultimately end up coming from me anyway.......and I think both the submissive me and the rational me really kind of like that. :)