Naughty Irish Imp

Naughty Irish Imp

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Trouble with the MPs

“Wanna race back to the barracks?” Thomas teased as we stood in the check out line at the PX. “ Down Airport Way ? Hell yeah I do!” I laughed. He checked out, followed immediately by me then we were out in the parking lot discussing the stipulations of our impromptu race. “If I win….you’re pressing my uniforms for 2 weeks.” He offered. “Alright Keele, but WHEN I win, you’re pressing Jason’s for 2 weeks…..and you’re going to get a pedicure with me.” I stuck my hand out so we could shake on it. “Deal ….you’re an evil bitch….but it’s a deal.” He said as he grabbed my hand. “I know Keele, but you love me.” With that we were off to our vehicles.
**Pause here…..Thomas Keele is an awesome guy. He was by far my best friend while stationed at Ft Wainwright. We were the same age and both had a fascination with using as much vulgarity as humanly possible every time we spoke…..unless we were around my husband, who happened to be his commanding officer. Keele and I caused a lot of trouble together up in Alaska …..this just happens to be one of those little stories and certainly the most memorable.**
We tore out of the PX parking lot like bats out of hell. Pulled up to a stop light and teasingly revved our engines at one another. Airport Way was a nice straight ¾ mile shot directly to Santiago Ave , our barracks. The light finally turned green and I punched the gas pedal to the floor. Keele was right beside me. Id pull up and then he would pull up, we were constantly exchanging the lead. I was giving it everything I could and I could see our barracks building right up ahead. Final stretch, we gunned it.
~Red & blue lights quickly catching up to our vehicles.~
I slammed on the brakes, but I knew it was too late. We both pulled into the back parking lot of the barracks and put the vehicles in park. ‘Damn it’ I yelled as I hit the steering wheel. The MP walking up to the passenger side of the truck. I started to roll down the window and he yelled at me, “Driver put your right hand above your head and very slowly open the door with your left and step out of the vehicle. No sudden movements.” I laughed slightly, thinking to myself that this must be the most action this idiot has seen in a while, so I’ll humor him. After stepping out of the truck, I looked next to me and saw Thomas was getting the same treatment. The MPs ordered the both of us to sit on the front bumper of their SUV while they searched our vehicles.
**Pause here……you know the saying about being in the right place at the right time? The whole cosmic forces aligning just right thing? You know, like winning the lottery….twice. Getting struck by lightening. A doctor being in his car behind a serious accident. Those insanely coincidental but fateful times in life where for better or worse, things just line up perfectly. Yep…..this is one of those nights; and even now, I wish I could say it was for good.**
Keele and I are laughing hysterically at this point, feeding off of one another. The adrenaline rush is too much and Natalie just can not keep her mouth shut. “So hey….ummm…..officers…..whatcha think youre gonna find in there? Dead bodies? An eight ball of coke? Oh fuck….maybe youll find those dozen grenades I swiped from the armory.” Keele laughs so hard he falls forward holding his stomach so he doesn’t burst. I follow suit.
“Mrs. Muse……imagine my surprise when I hear there are 2 vehicles being stopped on post for driving in excess of 90mph in a 25mph zone…..I respond and see my officers have who else??? Mrs Natalie Muse.” SSgt Scroggins jokes. “Fuck off Scroggins; write the ticket and go fuck with someone else.” I shoot back.
**Pause here…..more background…..this particular MP is a jerk, truly, even now I think he is a jerk. He was one of those guys who thought a badge made him God. You know the type…..a little authority and Poof! His head exploded. He and I had met within 2 weeks of my moving to the post when he stopped me for…….wait for it……DRIVING TOO SLOW! Natalie Lynn Muse……driving too slow. I know, right? Give me a break, Id just been stationed here and had no clue where anything was…..not to mention we were in interior Alaska …..icy roads, moose as big as this idiot’s ego…..I was cautious. J **
“Nice to see you again too Muse .” He mocks. “Damn it” Thomas whispers to me. I look up and see one of the young MPs has found a half empty bottle of Jack Daniels (our favorite Natalie & Keele drink) under the seat of Keele’s car. The officer places the bottle on the hood of my truck while they continue their search. “DUI? Damn it. I haven’t had a drink at all today, I must have forgotten to take that out after the party last weekend. Damn it. Well I can kiss my military career goodbye now.” Thomas is unglued; Ive never seen him so upset. “Keele, I got this. Go along with it, I got this.” I reassure him.
“Hey staff sergeant fuck face….err….I mean Scroggins. What the fuck are your boys doing with my liquor?” I shout out, standing up from the bumper. “Sit down Mrs Muse. I don’t believe you’re 21 ma’am. Actually neither of you geniuses are. It may have been yours 20minutes ago but it is now property of the MPs on this post.” He lectures. Keele looks at me almost in disbelief. “ Muse ….you don’t have to do that.” “Sssshhh.” I glare at him. “A DUI for you is professional suicide Thomas….for me, its just a fine. Shut up.” I whisper.
**Now the whole…..stars aligning part**
As Keele and I stand surrounded by 6 MPs trashing our cars and taking their sweet time, my cell phone rings. I look down at it, and the screen is blinking ‘JASON’. I know better than to not answer. I take a deep breath and answer, “Hello?” Keele’s eyes are wide as he struggles to hear every word. “Natalie, where are you? It’s been over an hour. You’ve got me worried.” My husband questions. “Umm, I ran into Thomas at the store. Im fine. We will be back to the barracks soon honey.” I ramble off. “Alright baby; drive safe.” He says. “Yes Sir.” I reply and quickly hang up the phone. I look over at Keele and we both laugh a little bit as I pretend to wipe sweat from my brow. “Whew…..that was close.” I laugh.
SSgt Scroggins walks over toward Keele and I and begins his rambling lectures of the dangers of speeding, the weather, the roads, the wildlife, etc. I’ve heard this speech at least 3 times from this man in the last 2 months. Then he crosses the line, or so my Naughty-fied mind thought. “The two of you could have killed yourselves acting like idiots. Your ignorance knows no bounds kids.” He barely gets the words out of his mouth before I go off.
“Who the fuck do you think you are asshole? Ignorance? Are you fucking kidding me? Kids? You’re not my fucking daddy. We are adults, not fucking 12 year olds that you can just lecture and boss around you fucking prick.” Keele is laughing, the younger MPs standing with their mouths agape as Scroggins and I stare one another down. “And furthermore you fucking cock sucker…” I begin but am quickly stopped by the sound of a very familiar voice booming behind me. “Don’t you *even* think about finishing that Natalie Lynn.” I spin around, unable to believe my ears, sure enough, I was not hallucinating. Marching across the parking lot in our direction is a very large, very angry Marine. I feel almost faint as I spin back around to Keele. His eyes are just as wide as mine are and my panic only intensifies.
After briefing Jason on what Keele and I had done, the MPs agree to release the two of us to him. They say it as if they’re doing me a favor. I wanted to yell out, beg even to be taken to jail. This is NOT a favor to me; this is a death sentence. Jason turns to Keele and I to speak, “Keele, pull your car in to a space then get into the barracks. I’ll deal with you at formation in the morning.” Thomas snaps a salute and a “Yes Sir” and hurries to his car with me right behind him. “Nice try Muse . Get your ass in the truck.” I turn and slowly walk to our truck and crawl inside, trying to sit as closely to the door as possible. Jason pulls in and parks the truck then jumps out; he walks over to the passenger side of the truck and opens my door. Usually I’d smile, he opens doors for me all the time because he is cute like that, but I know he isn’t in a ‘cute’ mood right now.
“Out.” He orders. I slide out and practically cling to the side of the truck. He takes hold of the top of my arm and marches me into the building. Im trying my best to keep up with his stride so I look a little more like Im willingly walking with my husband, rather than being dragged to my death. “Jason, I can explain…” I start. He stops dead in his tracks and glares at me, “Stop. I don’t want to hear a word out of you Natalie Lynn.” His voice is dripping with anger as he drags me to our door and flings me inside in front of him.  
I rush into the bathroom and close the door behind me. I hear him talking on the phone; I cant make out everything but clearly hear a “take over CQ” and “call a relief to cover.” And “discuss something with my wife.” I almost laugh at the last statement, thinking to myself, ‘discuss? Yeah fucking right.’ Im startled by a heavy knock on the door. “Now Lynn .” Even from the other side of a solid door, his tone of voice is unmistakable rage and Im scared.

I slowly crack the door open and see him standing in front of me. “Move” he barks and I scurry off to our bedroom with him on my heels. I jump up onto our bed as he closes the door behind us. My mind is drowning in panic, my throat half-closed off by the huge lump that’s appeared, my heart racing. He turns around and glares at me. I hesitantly look up at him, pleading with my eyes, searching for any sign of the loving man Ive married. His glare is intense, I can see the disappointment all over his face, the anger flashing in his eyes, his dominant jaw tightened, his carotid artery on the left side of his neck throbbing. I quickly break the stare by looking down. My eyes start to tear up as I struggle to find the right words. “Jason Im so sorry” is all that manages to escape my quivering lips. Still unsure of how much of my rant he heard, but knowing that ‘sorry’ is nowhere near covering this.
He clears his throat and in typical Marine Corps fashion starts his lecturing and rapid fire interrogation. “Im not certain why we are having this discussion again Lynn . I was certain this had been covered. Oh where to begin. Your wreckless driving? Your disrespect? Your vulgar mouth? You lying to me on the phone? The alcohol?” his voice is elevated, his tone absolute disgust. “You can save your excuses, Im not going to waste my breath either breaking down each of the ignorant things you chose to do tonight Natalie. I am simply going to throw this all together into one issue, one immense issue.” I look up at him again, not certain what he means. “I have told you Natalie Lynn, Ryan has told you… know damn well that anything you do…..good or bad……reflects directly on me. Your actions and the actions of my children are a direct reflection of me and how I run my household. Your behavior indicates the level of discipline I have instilled in my family. This is my career. You knew that when you married me. You knew that but knowing it tonight was clearly not enough for you to behave like an adult. Do you have any respect for me at all? God knows you don’t respect anything else around here, including yourself, but do you not have respect for me? As your husband? Your friend? Do you Natalie Lynn?”
I look up at him, “Of course I do Jason. What the hell kind of a questions is that?” Suddenly unsure of where my courage just appeared from, I quickly stop speaking. “What the hell kind of a question is that??? A perfectly logical question to ask considering the circumstances Mrs. Muse. Do you not tie your actions to their consequences in your own head? You tell me what of anything you did tonight was acceptable? A clearly thought out course of action? A good idea? Anything Lynn !” I haven’t an answer to give him and I know it. “You didn’t think Natalie. You were too concerned with showing off and getting the little rush by defying authority. Did it feel good? Did it?” he pauses and I know he expects an answer to that question. “Yes Sir, it did feel good to tell Scroggins off. I hate him and he is a jerk to me, so yes that felt good.” He glares at me, his eyes narrowing, “In life you’re going to have to work with people that you don’t like Natalie. Youll have to work with jerks. You will never succeed with the attitude you have now. Our ages are only separated by 9years but when it comes to what we each term acceptable and discipline, we are leaps and bounds apart. I could not believe my ears when I walked up and heard you spouting off like that. Do you realize how ignorant it makes you sound? It took every ounce of control I have to not spin you around and smack you right then.”
Im nervously fidgeting with my shoe laces as he continues to speak, “You are a reflection of me Natalie and I am responsible for you. I will not have my wife acting like some undisciplined, gutter mouthed, disrespectful child. Is that clear?” I nod my head and offer a simple, “Yes Sir.” His arms crossed over his broad chest as he stands towering over me, “When you choose to act like a child then you’ll be treated like one Lynn . Stand up.” I slowly start to rise to my feet and watch him closely as he walks to the closet.
He exits the closet with only one implement, the rubber loop. God how I hate that thing. I’d never felt a rubber implement before so when an online friend suggested some, I took everything they had…..a paddle, a strap, this loop…..ughhh. God if only I could turn back the hands of time. The rubber implements all cause an intense sting that doesn’t subside and the loop is by far the worst. I knew if we were home, off base, he would be paddling the living daylights out of me but here, in the barracks he uses only two implements when Im going to be punished. He says the ‘sound to effectiveness ratio’ is important. Ive never understood his concern with the sound when we are in the barracks, really I think every man and woman in this building knows he spanks me. He has swatted my bottom plenty of times in the dayroom or infront of the CQ desk. I’m filled with panic inside but his words are starting to sting my heart. I know he is right. I was way out of line tonight. I cant possibly explain away or justify even one thing I did. I knew better and I didn’t care.
He stands infront of me and throws the loop onto the bed and reaches for me. I stand frozen still infront of him as he unbuttons and yanks down my jeans and panties. Im staring at the floor and fighting back the urge to cry, to apologize, to whine, to beg. “Look at me. ” He barks. I cant and I continue to study the tile pattern of the floor. I knew better, he does not repeat himself, ever. My head is pulled back by a very large hand firmly grasping a fistful of my long, red hair. Our eyes meet one another’s and a tear falls from my eye. “Natalie Lynn this better be the last time I ever have to repeat this lesson. Don’t make me do this again.” His voice a bit softer but still firm. “Im sorry Sir.” I whisper. His hand still in my hair, he spins me around and pushes me forward onto the bed.
I grab hold of his pillow and pull it close to my face, crying into it as I listen to the unmistakable sound of him pulling his duty belt from its loops. The first swat leaves a searing line of angry red skin across the most tender spot where my bottom meet my thighs. I gasp and squeeze the pillow as he lands a second, then a third, a fourth. One of the first physical attributes that drew me to this man, after his incredibly expressive brown eyes, were the size of his biceps. Id always felt safe and loved wrapped up in his arms. But now, when I’d let him down…..disappointed him….angered him, those arms were mercilessly swinging down his leather duty belt covering every inch of my bottom and thighs. After the first few dozen swats I buried my face into the pillow and cried…..hard. I never cry and he knows I never cry but I cant help it tonight. My bottom is on fire but the tears are coming from the incredible pain in my heart. I was so stupid. Risked so much for a simple thrill. Im so angry at myself. His anger is on full display as he straps my bare bottom over and over. Every swat falling harder than the last. He isn’t lecturing me like he normally would be, he knows he doesn’t have to. I know what I did was wrong and Im regretting every choice I made. His job tonight is no longer to make me understand why I was wrong; it is simply to make sure I take this lesson to heart and learn something from it. He spanks as if he thinks each swat is instantly instilling discipline into my naughty bottom. I cross my ankles to keep from kicking my feet and try to catch my breath between swats. I finally give up, after what seems an eternity, I lay still completely spent sobbing as he whips my bottom. When he has stopped and laid his belt down, I hardly notice. My bottom is a fire ball and just the cool air seems to inflict another searing swat.
“On your feet” he commands. I slide off of our bed and stand on very shaky legs infront of him. “Natalie, you have a photographic memory. Please refresh mine. What is it that I told you would happen if you ever again got into a confrontation with any other person in uniform on this base or any other?” he asks then pauses waiting for a response. My swollen eyes are locked on the floor as I recite his words back to him from the discussion we had 2 months prior when he was called about my arguing with SSgt Scroggins at the main gate. “You said you would whip me with the loop until you were convinced I’d learned my lesson Sir.” He is pacing in front of me with the loop in his hand, testing the sting of the rubber on his open palm. “That I did Mrs. Muse. Id somehow convinced myself that the threat alone would be enough, however if tonight is any indication, you don’t take my words alone very seriously.”
Sobbing and sniffling I try to plead with him, “Jason I am sorry. Please don’t use that, please. I hate it. Cant you just make me run with Keele tomorrow? I mean that’s fair and you’ve already whipped me. Please Sir?” I look at him, begging with my eyes. His jaw tightens again and he softly replies, “Oh you will be running in formation alongside Keele tomorrow morning Mrs Muse, it is only fair the two of you are punished together since you acted like idiots together. Rest assured that will happen. But…..Keele is not my wife, you are. I didn’t promise Keele a bare bottom lesson he would never forget, that promise was made to you my love. And I keep my promises. Bend over the foot of the bed Lynn .”
I know fighting is futile. His mind is made up and nothing I can say or do is going to change it other than possibly irritating him more and adding to the punishment I already have coming to me. I brush a tear away and walk to the edge of the bed. Leaning forward so my upper body is on the foot of the bed with my bottom bent over the end, feet dangling a few inches from the floor. Helpless and soon to be soundly spanked. I try to convince myself that I deserve this and it cant be *that* bad. Oh how wrong I was.
The first swat penetrates deep, causing my body to jolt forward. I can feel the welt rise up almost instantaneously. My knuckles are white as I grasp the blankets and press my face into the bed, crying fresh tears. He doesn’t whip as quickly with the loop as he does with his belt. He is more methodical, placing each stroke exactly where he wants it. Taking his time, as if he is an artist and my bottom, his canvas. Im concentrating on the pain…..hard. Having an incredibly high tolerance works in my favor a lot but not with this implement. My head is dizzy with pain after only a half dozen well-placed swats. My body is bucking, my feet kicking up at the damn thing. This backfires as it always does, in that to him, my kicking means there must still be some amount of defiance left in me because Im not accepting my deserved punishment stoically. He has his mission in focus, target in his sights…..he sets about making sure he has whipped any hint of defiance out of his naughty wife’s bottom. Im crying so hard that I have to gasp for breath but am no longer fighting the punishing swats. He lands another dozen or so before finally dropping the loop onto the floor and pulling me up into his embrace.
I cry my apology over and over into his chest as he strokes my hair away from my damp face and kneads the back of my neck with his strong hands. The sound of his heart beating, the slow and steady rate of his breathing slowly start to calm mine. He twists his hand in my hair again, gently this time and pulls my head back so he is staring down into my puffy, cried-out eyes. We stand there staring at one another for a minute or two before I start to speak “Im…” He shakes his head and places his finger to my lips, “ssshhhh. I know you’re sorry baby & Ive forgiven you. That’s what love is.” His words comforting, reassuring, reaffirming my security in his arms.
He kisses me softly and then scoops me up, placing me on the bed before crawling in next to me. I lay my head on his chest and before turning off the light he says, “sleep fast Muse ……5am is going to come early.” Im too tired to whine right now so I just mutter a “yes Sir.”
“Gentlemen, Cpl Keele and my wife will be leading up our run this morning. This is what we call positive discipline Keele and Muse . Sound off 4-14 Cavalry. Ready when you are ma’am” he smirks and winks at me……..and off we went!

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