What *is* 'Overwhelming Dominance'?

04/03/2012

Okay, so I have used the term 'overwhelming dominance' often when describing my Professor; now having been asked by readers what exactly it is, I'm going to elaborate.....or try to define this label anyway.

What do I mean by overwhelming dominance?? Hmmm....well I suppose I'll start by telling you what I *do not* mean first. I have never labeled a man dominant because he is an overbearing jerk. I think men who act selfishly and use their personality, strength, or size to just get their own way are attempting (poorly I might add) to appear dominant.......those men typically come across as exactly what they truly are......inconsiderate bullying pricks. That is *NOT* dominance.

So what *IS* overwhelming dominance? Or what is it in the sense that I term it as an attribute my Professor possesses? He is not an inconsiderate prick or an asshole......there is no doubt in my mind that he could be either of those things in the right circumstances......and I work very hard to not ever orchestrate those circumstances......personally, Id rather not see that side of him......like ever. Dominance is often a trait one possesses, not acquires. Kind of like being a Spanko......just sort of in the DNA. Dominance is definitely in this mans DNA.

He is sincere, he is genuine, he is kind. A man of sound principles & morals. A strong ethical footing. A confident man in all I've seen, whether in the way he walks, speaks, interacts with others.....confident. Open, honest, caring. There is nothing I think I wouldn't be able to discuss with him......as long as I did so respectfully. Professor has a very commanding presence about him and I love it. Overwhelming dominance is not something I believe he has ever had to work at being.....he just *IS*.

I can, and often do, get advice from him about many things in life and the best part? I know I can trust it. I dont ever have to wonder what his motive is; that has been evident from the first time I spoke with him.....he cares and he wants to help. He is intellectual and honestly, my own prejudiced opinion, a genius. He thinks things through completely. He looks at several options instead of a single narrow-minded view. And when he honestly doesnt know the answer.....he says so & admits that. He offers me multiple courses of action and lets me make my own decisions. When I make the 'right' decision and it all works out, he is there with a 'good girl' and a smile & tone of voice that tells me I have pleased him. When I make the 'wrong' decision and it all falls to hell, he is there with advice, constructive criticism, reassurance and, when warranted, consequences and a "you know better young lady."

 He is reasonable and realistic in the expectations he sets. Dont let that fool you into thinking he is a push-over or I could get away with things with him......that could not be further from the truth. He is very strict, demanding and forceful when he needs to be. But he is intelligent enough to know the differences in what I need. Sometimes just a harsh bark of "Natalie Lynn" is what I need, other times it is deeper and I *need* to talk it out, even if I dont necessarily *want* to. He understand me and he often knows what I need when I have no idea and certainly can't put a voice to those needs.....he knows. Very intuitive.

He is firm, unwavering, resolved. He holds me to high standards and will not ever accept less than my best. He is not judgmental but he is critical of certain choices. He has never punished me without a damn good reason and he has never punished me without first, throughout the session & afterward reminding me of why I am being punished and insisting I contemplate steps to take to improve in the area in question. He is consistent, very very consistent. If I would be in trouble for speeding on Tuesday and get a spanking, I will be in trouble for speeding on Saturday and get a spanking. I never have to guess whether or not he will punish me for certain behaviors. We don't necessarily have a mile long list of rules and consequences either......we don't need that. I know what he expects of me and I know what will happen if I fall short of those expectations. He is not only in control of much of my behavior, moods, actions but also equally, or perhaps more so, in control of his own. His mood has no impact on the way he treats me. If he is upset or stressed about work pressures, family dilemmas, etc......he does not take that out on me by being more harsh. Consistent to a fault.......and, as with much else, that is exactly what I need.

He is not a game player and thankfully for his sanity and the well-being of my bottom, neither am I. We dont enjoy the guessing games, the intentional bratting for attention, the power struggles that seem a large part of some DD relationships. We focus on real issues, real behaviors and real improvement.

He is REAL. I have met and spoken with many men over the years who consider themselves Dominant, or a Top within a DD relationship but many of them fall far short of being good at either. They are fake. They are in this for an ulterior purpose. Their 'dominance' is carefully crafted and utilized to get what they want, when they want it, without regard for their partners. I have said for a long time that I can pick out a *truly* dominant man a mile away. Everything from the personality, the way he holds himself, the manner in which he speaks, walks, thinks.......it is a very specific make-up and being a born Spanko, I can spot them immediately. My Professor is REAL.

Selfless and patient. Kind of contradictory to the definition most people imagine when they think of Dominance, right? This couldn't be further from the truth. This man cares about me. He wants to help me. His genuine care and emotion provokes him to want to protect, want to teach, want to love, want to correct, want to help improve *HIS* girl. I am incredibly humbled by the fact that he chose for me to be *HIS* girl. I am a tough egg to crack.......analyze everything, over-interpret, defy authority, rebel against any and every rule/law I see, ignore warnings, tempt fate, refuse to comply, refuse to conform......I am a naughty, out-spoken, at times disrespectful brat that lives outside the box and doesn't open up any easier than a Brink's Safe. :) Professor was patient, caring, honest, sincere, unrelentingly supportive and he actually, rather quickly, broke into that highly-guarded safe that no other person was able to get into so quickly, or seemingly easily. (Yes, I do really mean NO other person, not even the Marine)

 And honestly......I wish I had found him years ago. My life, though at times is chaotic (especially recently) seems incredibly well-balanced now. I wake up everyday knowing that I *do* matter to someone. I *do* belong to someone. I am going to be held accountable to someone. That 'someone' is my Professor. He is always there, always consistent, always firm, always watchful, always demanding, always caring, always genuine, always sincerely supportive.......he is the perfectly strict, overwhelmingly dominant man that I've needed and finally found. A little time, alot of effort & a pinch of luck.......I *am* His and I wouldn't have it any other way. :)